Secret Agent Josephine

I wonder if anyone has ever blogged from a bible conference before? It’s strange how technology puts a different spin on everything. If there is anyone blogging about it, they are probably blogging about the meetings that are going on. I’m not going to really do that, but I will say that the meetings have been very interesting and I am coming away with a lot to think about.

It’s so strange for me to be here after not being here for so long. It’s even stranger to have Baby Bug with me. I remember going to conference when I was a little kid. I remember my brother and I running down the carpeted hotel corridors in footed pajamas. I remember the excitement of seeing cousins and how going to sleep was next to impossible because we were so wound up on cookies. Now it’s Baby Bug who’s all wound up on cookies and running down the halls with footed pajamas on while hanging on to her bigger cousins hands. Everything has come full circle.

But not all things are what they used to be. The morning routine is not what is used to be at all. Adding a kid to the mix is sooooooo much work! It’s not like the old days where I could spend hours putting rollers in my hair and ironing my dress so it was just so. Now I put rollers in my hair and rescue my kid from toppling off our makeshift nightstand/breakfast table. There are no highchairs here and it is making the whole eating process impossible. At home I really count on her being constrained to a high chair to get things done. Here I have no such luxury. I’m really having to use all my super mom brain cells to stay on top of things.

I was chatting to Lauren on instant messenger this morning and I thought I would give Baby Bug a muffin so that I could type just a few more sentences. Baby Bug eats muffins all the time so I figured she could sit on the floor next to me and enjoy a muffin all by herself.

I was so wrong. Babies cannot eat muffins by themselves. Three seconds went by and I looked down at my feet and the muffin was completely obliterated all over the floor, paper and all. In fact, I don’t even know where the paper went. I think she ate it. The rest of the muffin was ground into the carpet and and she was sitting on it. It was a disaster. I know the hotel maids are used to cleaning up after slobs but I never wanted to be that kind of guest. I even like to make my own bed so they don’t have to.

The hotel room is free (paid for by the bible conference organizers and contributions) so I feel like a real sod, trashing the place. I had no choice. I had to get down on my hands and knees and pick up every little crumb, scraping the mushy bits out of the carpet fibers with my fingernails. Motherhood is so glamourous. By the time I finished that, I had about five seconds to get dressed and do my hair. You always have to look extra nice at conference. I’m glad I kept my pajamas on during the whole muffin incident. I didn’t pack any extra outfits to wear and Baby Bug smeared muffin all over my legs as I rescued her from the mess. Muffin muffin everywhere…Everything was a mess.

Eating here has been a mess in general. I thought it was bad at home but that was easy street. Here it’s a whole other story. They don’t have high chairs in the dining room either and Baby Bug has been doing a number pulling things off the table. I have a little chair I stick her in so she can’t escape (like she did in the hotel room) but she still manages to wreck havoc at the table. Her little chair doesn’t have a tray so I have to push her up to the table. She pulls at the table cloth, she dumps water glasses. She grabs tomato sauce covered noodles and then smears her saucy fingers all over whoever is sitting next to her. I’m starting to think I should make myself a doggie bag and feed her in the bathtub.

But everybody loves Baby Bug. She can do no wrong. She can be rashy and covered in muffin and tomato sauce and still relatives are coming out of the woodwork to hold her. If I’m not careful, she’ll be gone from me for hours being passed from one Aunt to another. She’s starting to get used to it and will lean out to them when they come up to her making funny faces. It makes me happy that she’s such a happy social baby. She’s definitely taking after me.

I guess I’m just going to sign off here. I have to get some sleep because she is going to wake me up at the crack of dawn and I need to be good and ready for tomorrow’s muffin mess.