Secret Agent Josephine

Wow. She’s thirteen months now. Not really a “baby” any more, though I call her that all the time. I also call her “silly bear” and “snuggle bear” and “cranky bear”… but hardly ever “Baby Bug”… funny how that works. But she’s still Baby Bug. She’ll always be Baby Bug. My little Bug.

So I got her these pink skull and cross bones pajamas the other day, thinking she’d be a “hardcore rock n’ roll” baby but then when I put them on her… I kinda got the creeps. I thought bad thoughts like, what if she died in these pajamas and the death symbol was some kind of evil omen?!! What am I doing with my child? Trying to make some kind of scary movie poster?

Then I got over it and decided they were cute anyway. Cute in a scary pirate kinda way. Arrrrg!

Thirteen months rocks. I love this stage. I love every stage better than the rest. She’s just so much fun now. Every day she amazes me by being smart. I love a smart baby. She’s still not walking yet but she’s taken a few steps. She stands up all the time. In fact, standing up isn’t so exciting any more. I’ll turn around and there she is, standing up again. All the time standing up. We still clap and say “Yaaaaay,” but standing up is old hat.

It’s funny, the other day I was at the beach with my cousin and her four month old. I held him for a minute and I felt so awkward. He wiggled so differently than I remember Baby Bug ever wiggling. I tried to comfort him the way I comfort Baby Bug but my movements were all wrong and backwards. He didn’t cry but I could tell he just wanted his mama.

It’s amazing to me how babies and mothers grow up together. I learned how to take care of Baby Bug on the fly and she learned that the way I take care of her is the right way for her. We move together so seamlessly. She knows when I rock her, it’s time to go to sleep. She knows when we go to the beach, I’ll play with her in the sand. When I pick her up and run down the shore, she laughs with the same glee I feel inside. I’m probably not putting this in words properly but I never realized how perfectly this motherhood thing works until I was run over by it. I’m hopelessly in love with my Baby Bug.

Even if she is Miss Rashy McRashy Face. Look at that face. It’s a face only a mother could love. She drools all the time and the moisture makes her skin break out and peel. It’s horrible and red all the time. I asked the doctor about it, worried that she had some kind of yeast infection, but the doctor said it was normal and nothing to worry about. She said it’s just due to moisture and until her face is dry, it won’t go away. So the rash comes and goes and some days I’m horrified by it. Other days I just ignore it. She’s still adorable to me. I don’t even mind kissing her rashy McRashy face.

She also has some kind of itchy rash on the back of her neck. What’s with all the skin problems? How am I going to enter her into any kind of beauty/talent contest if she keeps breaking out in red spots? Don’t worry, I’m not entering her into any contests but I have had a few people ask me if I was going to. My answer is “no”. For now anyway. Maybe someday I might be tempted. But between the clogged tear duct that makes her one eye cry all the time and the rashy face and the hand always behind her head itching the back of her neck…she’d be horrible in a photo shoot. Unless of course the photographer is me and in that case there is no problem.

I took these rashy pictures so I could show the doctor what it looked like. (Because invariably, on the day we actually go to the doctor, her skin clears up and there seems to be no problem.) But I actually had a hard time getting the redness to show up on camera. It’s way worse in real life. I guess it’s a blessing that it doesn’t show up that bad in pictures. I’d be super bummed if it caused me to stop taking pictures and giant patches of her life went by unrecorded.