• artsy fartsy,  the great illness of 06

    Sludgie Production!

    Edited July 11, 2011 to add: Hello Pioneer Woman readers! Due to the increased traffic of people looking at this post I have added Sludgies to my shop!

    At last! The Sludgies are officially done. Don’t mind the fact that I had to hire my Aunt, the professional seamstress, to get them done. It was well worth the expense. Firstly, because she is a professional and she did SUCH a better job than I ever could and secondly, because they are dah-dun-dah-dun-dun-DONE. I would have never ever gotten them done. I can barely comb my hair regularly these days.

    They are so cute! I’m totally in love with my little Sludgie character. He’s almost worth all the pain and sickness and surgery I had to go through. He’s almost worth the deadly stinky farts I now suffer from. Yeah, you guys didn’t tell me about that. Who says you don’t need a gallbladder. You do! Gallbladders regulate the smelliness. Oh. My. Goodness. Is there anybody out there who knows what I’m talking about? I practically kill my own self when I fart these days. What is up with that! Ugh.

    But it’s all okay. I’d take smelly farts any day over weeks and weeks of puking. The weight loss side effect was kind of nice but the PAIN, I’ll never ever go through that again. I’m not even afraid of morning sickness if I ever get pregnant with kid number two. If I can make it through three weeks of puking and writhing on the floor, I can handle a little nausea.

    And now we have to distribute the lovely Sludgies! Are any of you contest winners still reading? I’m going to have to track you down. Below is a list. If you see you’re name, please email me your snail mail address and I’ll ship out your very special “Sludgie the Evicted Gallbladder” package. (No, I won’t sell your info to any junk mail companies. I promise.) Please feel free to take him out of the package and hang him on your Christmas tree (or nose) this winter. That’s why he has a little ribbon loop. And if you do, please send me a picture. It will make my poor gallbladder-less body happy. If anybody doesn’t want their Sludgie, let me know. I have a few nieces who think they NEEEEEED a Sludgie. I think they need more stuffed things like a hole in the head but whatever.

    1. Pam
    2. Lola
    3. Jennifer
    4. Bethany*
    5. Kelly
    6. Lin*
    7. Nicole
    8. Wendy
    9. Andrea
    10. Paula
    11. Emily
    12. Beck’s Mom*
    13. Kate*
    14. Jd
    15. C
    16. Lexi
    17. Lyndsay
    18. Ellen
    19. Marissa
    20. Mama Knucker Hatch
    21. Beach Mama*
    22. MamaBear
    23. Gretchen
    24. Jora
    25. Lauren*

    *=I have your address already. Strike-thru means I’ve tracked you down, not that you’re not getting one. Unless of course you said you didn’t want yours.

    Edited to add: Hello Pioneer Woman readers! Due to the increased traffic of people looking at this post I have added Sludgies to my shop!

  • Buddies,  half assed posts,  illos,  Slow News Day

    The Whoorly Interview

    There’s another meme going around and even though I’ve already played it, I asked Whoorl to interview me because I adore her (like the rest of the masses) and I was pretty curious to see what she might ask me. Also, it’s an easy blog post that I don’t have to think about too hard. Except I had to go and decide I wanted to illustrate us on a talk show or something. She hasn’t seen this illustration yet so if it’s suddenly gone, you’ll know why.

    Okay here goes:

    1. Describe your ideal living space.

    Hmmm… I could go in so many different directions with this question. Part of me would love a spacious loft in San Francisco with perfect clean lines and modern minimalist furniture. Another part of me wants a house in the country with a wrap around porch and a big long wooden kitchen table where friends could drop by and drink coffee while I make apple pie. Another part of me loves the craggy chaos of a city like Paris. I wouldn’t mind if things don’t always match or the paint was peeling and the doorways were too narrow to fit a couch through. I just want a place that exudes charm and tells a story.

    2. Only one for the rest of your life- brownies or ice cream?

    This is an easy one! Brownies forever!!! I don’t really like ice cream all that much. I know, I’m strange and freakish. I think it’s mostly because my front teeth are thin and it’s somewhat painful for me to eat cold things. I don’t have any cavities but my teeth are sensitive. Ice cream is yummy but I’d rather have fat and sugar and chocolate any day. Mmmmmm chocolate. The darker the better. Can I have one right now?

    3. What is the last thing you do before getting into bed?

    Unfold my futon.

    4. Who is your favorite artist? Why?

    Oooh that’s a hard one. I don’t have an obvious favorite. I tend to favor illustrators who do childish vector art like I do. I’m fascinated by it for some reason. I love art like this but I actually know very little about the artists. If I had to pick a famous artist, I would probably pick Georgia O’Keefe. Mostly because I visited her gallery in Santa Fe and I was inspired by the way she painted what she loved. Sometimes I didn’t like her paintings but they always conveyed a deep emotion and that is amazing to me. Who cares how trained you are, it’s your ability to convey a feeling that matters.

    5. Twizzlers or jelly bellies?

    What! Is this another one of those Whoorl questions where I don’t like either of the choices and you’re going to make fun of me like I’m from another planet just because I don’t watch football and eat that funny cheese dip with jalepenos in it or something? Hmmm… well I guess I’d have to say twizzlers because jelly bellies are just too sweet and yucky. Except the coconut ones. I could eat a few of those. Either way they both taste like sugary plastic. Plah. Gag.

    Okay, I’m done. That was fun.

    I’m going to be a spoil sport and I’m not going to offer to interview anyone. I already have too much on my plate right now with my banner drawing contest. But if you want to play and you didn’t get a chance on whoorl’s blog, I think you should answer the questions she asked me and leave your answers in my comment box. Yeah! It’ll be fun. Or you can tell me all about why I’m an idiot because I don’t like football, ice cream, twizzlers or jelly bellies. Bring it on! I can take it.