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The Bible Conference
Happy New Year! Did you see my new banner? No? Empty your cache and refresh your browser. There it is. Anyway before I go off rambling about the super duper invites I’m designing for Bug’s super-duper-puppet-show birthday party coming up, I think I better say a few words about the bible conference I attended over Christmas weekend.
I usually hate to talk about this stuff because I know some of you will write me off as one of those bible-thumping lunatics and the rest of you will sigh and shake your head that I’m such a coward always shying away from writing about spiritual things because it’s not the popularly accepted thing to do. And then there’s part of me that is embarrassed to admit that I probably only took in about ten percent of what was going on because I was trying to keep my toddler in line and I was distracted by the secret-coded notes my ten-year-old niece was passing right by me. (By the way, my niece may be a bad influence but she is totally clever.)
So we stayed in a fancy hotel, we ate more cookies and I drank more coffee than I really should have… I saw old friends that I haven’t seen in three years or more and I learned some things. I don’t feel like this is the place to discuss them. (Not to mention I don’t want to admit how dumb I am.) But I’m coming around to the fact that I shouldn’t hide that I am a Christian anymore. I know. There goes my readership. But I have to be honest. This is me. Silly fickle me.
I’ve had so many years that I doubted my faith. I was “saved” when I was very young and didn’t really know there was anything else to believe. Then my whole world turned on it’s head when I left the church in my twenties. I didn’t want anything to do with any kind of organized religeon. I’d seen the evil that it (and myself) could do. The Da Vinci Code sent me for a loop. Could Jesus be married? Could the bible be re-written to suit the Catholics in power at the time? I still question everything. I’d say you are a liar or in extreme denial if you don’t.
But I’m coming around. It doesn’t all make logical sense in my head. I still worry that faith is part of my brain’s elaborate plan to fool me out of being afraid of death. But I’m letting go of that. I was raised to trust in Jesus to get me through. I was raised to read the bible for encouragement. Sure it’s sentimental because it reminds me of the safe harbor that was my youth but maybe I want that safe harbor for my kid too. And then there’s the part about prayer. I don’t understand it. It works. I’ve prayed my way through trial after trial and every time I am amazed that somebody up there, who has a million zillion other things to do, actually heard me.
So that is that. I’m sorry if I bored you to tears and you’ll never want to come here again. I’m sorry if I disappointed you because I’m not going to relay what I learned from reading Hebrews 10. I just felt like I had to say something because it happened. I went to a bible conference for three days and it was good for me. I’m not going to be walking door-to-door handing out tracts but I am going to examine why I’m so hesitant to be a Christian in this crazy world. It’s part of who I am. It’s how I want to raise my daughter… maybe I need to just own up and not be so afraid to be a fool in other’s eyes. Maybe I’ve been a fool for hiding it.
A funny thing though: Many of the people at the conference know that I blog. It’s sort of embarrassing but it keeps me on my toes thinking about all the different personalities that will read what I write. So it sort of amused me when I was picking up my free muffins for breakfast that a girl standing nearby whispered to her friend that she wondered how much of this conference would end up on blogspot.com. I don’t blog at blogspot.com and I wasn’t really going to blog about the conference at all. It’s part of my mixed-up private life that I don’t want to discuss with five hundred of my closest imaginary friends. But when she said that, I had to write something. If only just to smile and say, I heard you.
Also? Baby Bug enjoyed it thoroughly. I can’t say the same about her first experience with hot rollers though.
p.s. top photo taken by Bug
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the Post-Christmas Post
It has been way too long since I blogged. I hate it when I do this because now I’ve got four or five other posts all jammed up in my head and I can’t write about them until I write about Christmas! Normally, I would just skip writing the old post (You don’t have to know EVERYTHING in my life. There’s that 90 percent of my life that is supposed to be private, right? Ha ha.) but it’s the Christmas post! Bug’s first real Christmas that she understood and used her claws of greed rip open presents like a rabid Tyrannosaurus ex. I can’t skip that.
So yes, there was some rabid ripping of paper going on. She definitely understands the concept of presents. I think she got that last year too but this year was definitely more urgent. The poor kid had to walk by all her presents for weeks and weeks because I stupidly put everything under the tree right away. You know me, I didn’t know where else to put them! I guess I’m going to have to clean out the linen closet and stash them in there next year.
Even though I’ve been celebrating Christmas for ten years now (I didn’t grow up celebrating it) I still feel clueless about things. Do we tell her about Santa Claus? Or do I tell her he’s just a silly guy at the mall? Do we open presents on Christmas Eve or the next morning? What if Toby doesn’t wake up until noon (he works at night)? Do we have to wait until then to open presents? What about going to church on Christmas Eve? How do I tell her about Jesus and the manger? Is she going to understand? Questions questions questions. Thankfully things are working themselves out.
As usual, I’m kicking myself for worrying so much. It’s like I’m a new mom all over again spending hours worrying about what detergent to wash everything in. Little did I know that two years later I would let her eat things off the floor and put clothes on her from Target before I even rip off the tags.
Anyway…things have a way of working out EVEN when Toby and I don’t communicate very well.
I woke up before the crack of dawn and snuck out into the living room. Much to my chagrin, Santa (aka Toby) had NOT set up the toy train that I had explicitly asked him to set up on the coffee table. I thought that would be a nice touch since I was the idiot and forgot to hide any of the presents beforehand. I didn’t think Santa would forget too. He forgot.
He did eat some cookies and left one on a plate with a very obvious bite out of it. I thought that was sweet, especially since Toby and I didn’t discuss anything like that and poor Santa had to go find a cookie somewhere in the kitchen and set it up himself. But the train was nowhere in sight. So I had to go find it in Toby’s office and set it up like a mad elf. I thought for sure Bug would wake up. I’m so klutzy. Me and wooden tracks at 5:45 in the morning are not a good combination.
Miraculously, Bug did not wake up. I think I got the last track fit into the circle and was trying to find a place for the extra tracks when she came padding out to find me. I quickly stashed the extra tracks in the hat that Santa had left behind. That’s a good place I figured.
Bug was totally surprised. She loved her train set! It was magical. To me anyway because I never did that. I never woke up to find presents on Christmas morning. I got presents out my arm pits on my birthday but Christmas was just another day. So this is all new and fun and strange for me.
We played with the train for a few hours and I think we munched on something or other for breakfast. Then another miracle happened: Toby woke up! He never wakes up before nine in the morning unless he has a work appointment. I’ve probably written about this before but Toby does most of his photo-editing at night when the house is quiet and goes to bed regularly at four or five in the morning. So getting up at seven is like asking you or me to get up at 2 am. Not a pretty sight. But it was Christmas and Toby didn’t want to miss the fun either. That made it special for everyone.
I’ve since forgiven Santa for forgetting the train.
I do not know why Bug thinks her arm is so tasty. That silly kid.
There were a few other surprises in store of course. Like some great big packages that came in the mail!
Nothing says “s-p-o-i-l-e-d” quite like a fancy-shmancy puppet-show theater that is big enough to crawl into. Hot diggety dog! How did my in-laws know I’m plotting a puppet-show-themed birthday party for Bug in January? They must just know. Bug enjoyed it thoroughly.
Does anybody know where this giant green tube came from? It just showed up on our porch without a note or a card. There was a packing slip with a company name on it so I will definitely be calling them but as of right now I have no idea who gave this to us. If it was you, a big thank you! Now we have two tubes for crawling in and Bug thinks it’s the best thing on earth.
And with that I will finish this post because Bug is now awake and is insisting on eating cereal on the floor like a cat.
Christmas 2008 from secretagentjo on Vimeo.Here’s the home movie version of this post…I apologize, it’s a little long and maybe boring.
