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Fall Pop!
I’ve always wondered what it would be like to live somewhere where there are seasons. I figure I’m too much of a Californian wimp to handle months and months of snow and sludge but I’m really digging that I’m getting to see other parts of the country during their prettiest times of year. Last time I was in Washington D.C. we got to experience Spring and it was soooo amazing.
Remember these shots? I thought I had blogged them but apparently not.
The cherry blossoms were amazing but what really blew me away were those pink tulip trees. The blossoms were huge and pink and EVERYWHERE! I was very lucky to be here right when winter gave way to Spring. I thought everything was brown and ugly when I got here. That coupled with the traffic problems made me think I’d never want to live here but then I realized that you can put up with a little bit of ugly brown when it turns into amazing color like this. We never see this in California.
And now here we are in Fall experiencing yet another wonder of color. I know all you locals are probably rolling your eyes just like I do when you flip out over a palm tree. But this is really cool to me. Leaves leaves leaves! They are everywhere! Who needs snow when you have mountains and mountains of leaves to fall into and throw around?
We’ve collected some obviously. We can’t help ourselves. I have great plans of waxing them and then mounting them on cards to send back home. We’ll see if I actually get that done though because of course there are a million and one other things to do. AND! Bethany might have her baby any day now. It’s all very exciting.
Don’t let Bethany’s expression fool you. She’s about to pop!
p.s. Thank you for all the kind emails. I have a bunch of really sweet and supportive readers. I’m so blessed.
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Goodbye Texas
I left Texas with tears in my eyes. I still tear up just thinking about it. Texas was just what I needed when I was going through a terrible time. I feel like I’ve left a part of my heart behind but I’m stronger now than I was when I went so I think Texas did what it was supposed to do for me. Thank you Texas. I’ll always be thinking of you.
I don’t want to share too much here on this blog but I went to Texas because I needed some time to figure out what was going on with my life. Toby and I have been going through some rough times (years, really) and I’ve finally come to the conclusion that Bug and I need to move out for a bit. It was not an easy decision to come to. I feel like I’m ripping up my family and that rips up my heart. I love Toby dearly and I loved our little life by the beach but until we work out some big issues, I need space. I’m taking Bug to the beach weekly to spend time with her dad but mostly we’ll be away.
I’m temporarily moving out to the sticks next door to my mom, into my grandpa’s old place. Rent is cheap and family is nearby so it seems like the right thing to do. Sometimes I wonder though. My grandpa’s place needs a lot of work and I’m buried up to my eyeballs trying to make it a home. You all know my struggles I’ve had with my family and the sticks so I’m sure you can imagine what I’m going through. There is so much I love out here and there is so much that I hate. It’s bittersweet.
Sometimes I just want to give up and cry but then the sun rises, lighting up the bright desert sky with streaks of white and gold over the big mountains and I have hope. I meant to take a picture this morning but by the time I had grabbed my camera (I got distracted as usual), the beauty had faded. I’ll be out here for a while though so maybe one of these mornings I’ll catch it. The desert is a beautiful place. It can be desolate but it’s also beautiful. I just hope I can scratch out a living here. If you’re the praying kind maybe you could pray for us.
Next week Bug and I will be flying out to Washington DC for a month to help Bethany in case she has her baby early. I’m in charge of setting up the baby’s room and possibly painting a room or two—which will be great for keeping my spirits up. And of course Bug will be playing with her best friend Annalie so I think that will be good for her too. It will be like we’re putting our stressful life on pause for a month, which is nice but of course life will still be here waiting for us when we get back. So pray for us. Toby too.
I’m reluctantly closing the comments on this post because I don’t want to open up a public forum for people to pick apart my marriage and all the mistakes Toby and I have made but if you want to email me that is fine. I hope you understand.
