Secret Agent Josephine

I’ve been babysitting the Things (that’s my nickname for them) for a long time. I think I started when Thing One was two and Thing Two was one. Now they are eight and nine!! I’ve known them for so long I feel like I’m part of their family, which is pretty cool.

The funny thing is, I’ve written about them from time to time here on this blog and over the years I’ve shared my posts with them. At first I was afraid to share with them because I never really got their mother’s permission (which is totally bad) and if you know their mom, you know she’s a feisty red head who could easily kick my butt. It’s not that I wrote bad things about them and I’ve been very careful not to reveal their identity etc… but well, I just didn’t know what she would say. I still don’t really. I’ve brought it up a few times and she’s just shrugged if off. I don’t think my blog is really on her radar.

Anyway, the kids? THEY LOVE THEIR POSTS. I don’t think they have access to the internet regularly so whenever I come over, they beg me to read their posts to them from my laptop. We read them over and over and have a good laugh over all the old memories. (If you have time, make sure you read the picnic one, it’s hilarious.)

Then they beg me to write more stories about them. In fact, Thing Two probably asks me every five minutes if I’m going to write about this or that or the other thing.

“Can you write about how I just jumped my skateboard off this curb? How about this rolly polly bug? It’s really cool! I know! Write about (the bla bla bla pokemon, skoobydoo, dsi something-or-other whatever-he’s-into-thing)…”

I roll my eyes and try to explain that while whatever xyz-thing he wants me to write about is super cool and interesting, it might not actually make a very good post. What really makes a good post is when something goes terribly wrong and I don’t want anything to go terribly wrong when I’m babysitting so lets just forget about the blog posts and have fun, okay? He doesn’t get it though. Maybe one of these days I’ll get him to start his own blog.

So I’m writing this for you, Thing Two. Nothing terribly went wrong this last weekend so I don’t have a very funny story to relate. (Although I could write about that one time I took you to the movies and you ate the ENTIRE box of candy I bought for you when I thought you would only eat half of it and then you got sick…that was a good time. NOT!) But I do want to say that I love you and YOU are very bloggable. I’m so blessed to have you as a character on this page. And you too, Thing One.

I’m sure you are all on the edges of your seats wondering how the gardening went. It went great! We planted strawberries. Or at least I think they are strawberries. That’s what the package said. They’re bare root strawberries. (Now that I find a link for them, I see we did not plant them properly. They’re doomed.) They looked pretty dead to me but my mom kept saying, “You’d be surprised!” I really hope she’s right because I don’t want to grow dead roots for months. Wouldn’t that be a letdown?

See? Dead. Or at least deadish. I don’t see any sign of life in these gnarled rooty things. I really hope my mom is right. She is the one with the green thumb after all.

This weekend when we went out to visit Toby, Bug was telling him all about our planting experience and she kept going on and on about planting the strawberries’ hula skirts in the ground. We both were very puzzled until I finally figured out that the “hula skirts” were the strawberry roots—which they do kind of look like. Like zombie hula skirts from the dead!!!! Aaaaack! Anyway, I’m pessimistically optimistic. We’ll see.

Even if they don’t grow, it sure was fun planting. I’m really liking this American Dream backyard experience I’m living. I feel like a Norman Rockwell painting sometimes. I love digging and fixing it up. I love standing in it and listening to the birds. I love sending my kid out to play for hours on end and hearing her laughing and making up complicated games with the neighborhood kids. I know I’ve gone on and on about how fun it is to have a dog to play with in the backyard. I really hate this town I live in but if I could transport my backyard to the beach, I’d live there forever!

Of course Bug loves it just as much as I do. Maybe even more.

In other news, we had a really great weekend at the beach. I’m sure those of you who are tuned into the Toby-Brenda-Separation-Saga are thoroughly confused over our relationship. I can’t really go into it but I’d just say that we are still good friends and that we both hope this makes things easier for Bug. We see Toby every weekend and often we still do things together as a family.

This weekend we went miniature golfing. Can I just say that miniature golfing is the most boring game ever?!! Oh my goodness, I thought I was going to curl up and die right there on the astroturf.

I wanted to climb inside one of the little boarded up houses and take a nap. Bug and I were both very disappointed that you can’t go inside the little houses. Why do they build them then? Just to frustrate you? That’s what I think.

Toby and I had a long discussion about how a homeless person could probably break into one of these and live there for years without anyone ever finding out. I think that sounds like a good book I’d like to read. Anyone?

Anyway, it was good family time. Toby’s mom came. We haven’t seen her much lately (she’s in assisted living now) and it was good to just hang out with her and let her know we still care about her. I think she really enjoyed herself.

Then we hit the park which was way way way more fun than golfing and it was FREEEEE! Parks are the best, especially the ones with really good swings. Now that Bug can pump, it has made my whole park-going experience about a thousand times more fun.