I have chairs now. They’re not exactly what I was going for but they’re growing on me. We’ve named them Beatrice and Bugly. Beatrice is the gold one on the right. I wanted to name them Ugly and Fugly but Bug thinks the golden chair is rather pretty and princess-like and deserves a better name than Fugly. So we compromised and came up with Beatrice and Bugly. Hopefully Bugly doesn’t turn out to be an omen for creepy crawly bed bugs that you all have so graciously warned me about in the comments. Eeeeee…. I’m totally creeeped out.

I’m pretty sure they are clean though. They smell like a combination of dry cleaner and moth balls and I’ve inspected them deeply and see no sign of bugs or dirt. But I guess time will tell. My Uncle who happens to be a pest control operator is visiting so I’ll ask him to check them out too.

I really like the lines of the top part of the chairs. I love the velvet and the colors. I feel like I’m on a tv show from the late sixties. But I hate the bottom part of the chairs. They’re rocking chairs! Which I do not like at all. They swivel around in circles and are always pointing the wrong way when I walk into the room. I think they secretly are plotting against me when I’m not around.

I thought maybe I could detach the bottom ruffle and the circular rocking parts and then attach some spindly wooden legs that would look much cooler. However, upon closer inspection I found that the rocker is totally incorporated into the chair structure and taking it apart would seriously compromise their stability. So rocking I am stuck with. Though I do have to admit that my guests who have sat in them so far approve. They are quite fun to swivel around in so you can converse with anyone in any part of the room.

And the best part? The dogs do not like them. So far there have been no dogs sitting on chairs. I think that’s great.

I’m not 100% on them though and since they only cost $12 and $17 respectively, I might take them back to the thrift store if something better comes along. We’re also talking about making an outdoor living room where my carport is so they might work out there for a summertime thing. I don’t know. I figure I’m just renting them for a flat rate of $29 and I can return them whenever I like.

But for now they’re kinda fun. I even bought a mumu for fifty cents at a garage sale to get in the spirit. It so groovy and unflattering. I’m sure it would look super cute on me if I was seventeen though. Maybe I should make it back into a tablecloth. Or I could just keep it around for those crazy days when you don’t care what you look like because it’s ONE HUNDRED AND FIVE DEGREES IN THE SHADE! I’m so not looking forward to those days.

For now I can just wear it when nobody is looking and pretend I’m living in the good old days back before I was born.

Were you wondering where I put my old white chair? It was quite a conundrum at first. I went from having no chairs to suddenly having too many chairs. I tried to fit them all in my living room and while it was great for conversation, it really got on my nerves that everything was so crowded. I didn’t realize what a neurotic freak I was until I found myself up at night stressing out about having too many chairs in my living room.

The next day I moved everything around in a manic blur and ended up with the white chair in my Parisian bedroom. I can’t believe it fit. It is actually kind of nice there. Holly thinks I put it there just for her.

Addendum:

Now that I’m looking at Bugly in photos, I’m not loving him so much. What do you say? Hot or NOT. I’m thinking most of you are thinking I’ve lost my mind in some kind of seventies haze. He really does look better in real life and that crocheted blanket actually is so clashy it’s cool, in my mind.