Secret Agent Josephine

Well, I finally did it. I finally made marmalade! Woo hoo!!! This has been on my big list of things I want to do before I die. Of course, I should probably qualify my previous statement and say that my mom made marmalade in my kitchen while I hovered, took notes and photographed. But I totally paid attention and then I cleaned up the kitchen afterwards which counts for many many points, right? Do you know how sticky citrus can make a floor? Very.

Anyway, I’m super confident I could make my own batch of marmalade all by myself next time if I wanted to. That’s enough for me.

Bug was kind enough to copy the recipe down for you. I’ll transcribe it for you below.

Ingredients:

4 oranges
2 lemons
6 cups of sugar
2 1/2 cups water
1/8 tsp baking soda
Sure Gel pectin (you can use the other brand just make sure you follow their directions)
sterile jars (enough to fit 4 cups of fruit, you pick the size. We used two big ones and four little ones.)

First, you’ll want to wash your oranges and lemons really well. Especially if you’re like us and they’ve been sitting in the backyard collecting dirt and bird crap—I mean sitting there being perfectly chemical-free and organic!

When they’re all nice and pretty, take a vegetable peeler (yep, a plain old potato peeler) and skin the zest layer off. My mom says back in the olden days they used a knife and it was a big pain in the neck. Use a peeler, it’s super easy! When you’re done with that, chop up the rind into small pieces. We liked small thin rectangles for some reason.

You’ll have to forgive my mom’s hands for not being model-esque. Them’s workin’ hands, riddled with arthritis. But they still work! Next, peel and discard the pith part of the oranges and lemons by hand.

Chop the fruit up into bite-size pieces and reserve the juice. One of those cutting boards with a reservoir would be handy here but we didn’t have one.

Next, place zest peels, 2 1/2 cups of water and 1/8 tsp baking soda in a sauce pan. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for 20 minutes. I’m missing some photos here. They were not photogenic and got REJECTED.

After 20 minutes add the fruit and juice and simmer for 10 minutes. Then add your four cups of chopped fruit and pectin to the six cups of sugar in a BIG ol’ pot and bring to a rolling boil. I learned a rolling boil is a boil that can’t be stirred down. My mom is so smart with these helpful tips. I know you probably already know all this stuff but I didn’t.

After the fruit “brew” has boiled at a rolling boil for a whole minute, you can turn off the heat and then ladle your delicious smelling marmalade into jars leaving 1/8 of an inch of space from the top.

Like so. Aren’t they pretty? I call them my precioussssssssss jewels in my best Gollum voice.

Then we screwed on the lids and let them sit in the Jar Spa aka a water bath.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh…..” say the jars. (They were tense and sticky.) This is just what they needed. I sort of wished I had a spa to climb into too after all this mess.

And that was that. We made two batches! I guess it has to set for a week or so but I opened a jar the next day and had some on toast.

It was delicious! Why wouldn’t it be? It’s pretty much orange-flavored sugar.

(my little helper)

Then I made some labels (2nd version not shown) so we can give the rest away as gifts. It’s going fast. I think I’m going to have to make another batch! Good thing I have more oranges! I actually don’t have an orange tree in my yard. I have one lemon tree and two tangelo trees but my neighbor does and she said I can pick them anytime, there are plenty! What I really need to figure out how to make is lemon marmalade. Is there such a thing?

I’m sure you are all on the edges of your seats wondering how the gardening went. It went great! We planted strawberries. Or at least I think they are strawberries. That’s what the package said. They’re bare root strawberries. (Now that I find a link for them, I see we did not plant them properly. They’re doomed.) They looked pretty dead to me but my mom kept saying, “You’d be surprised!” I really hope she’s right because I don’t want to grow dead roots for months. Wouldn’t that be a letdown?

See? Dead. Or at least deadish. I don’t see any sign of life in these gnarled rooty things. I really hope my mom is right. She is the one with the green thumb after all.

This weekend when we went out to visit Toby, Bug was telling him all about our planting experience and she kept going on and on about planting the strawberries’ hula skirts in the ground. We both were very puzzled until I finally figured out that the “hula skirts” were the strawberry roots—which they do kind of look like. Like zombie hula skirts from the dead!!!! Aaaaack! Anyway, I’m pessimistically optimistic. We’ll see.

Even if they don’t grow, it sure was fun planting. I’m really liking this American Dream backyard experience I’m living. I feel like a Norman Rockwell painting sometimes. I love digging and fixing it up. I love standing in it and listening to the birds. I love sending my kid out to play for hours on end and hearing her laughing and making up complicated games with the neighborhood kids. I know I’ve gone on and on about how fun it is to have a dog to play with in the backyard. I really hate this town I live in but if I could transport my backyard to the beach, I’d live there forever!

Of course Bug loves it just as much as I do. Maybe even more.

In other news, we had a really great weekend at the beach. I’m sure those of you who are tuned into the Toby-Brenda-Separation-Saga are thoroughly confused over our relationship. I can’t really go into it but I’d just say that we are still good friends and that we both hope this makes things easier for Bug. We see Toby every weekend and often we still do things together as a family.

This weekend we went miniature golfing. Can I just say that miniature golfing is the most boring game ever?!! Oh my goodness, I thought I was going to curl up and die right there on the astroturf.

I wanted to climb inside one of the little boarded up houses and take a nap. Bug and I were both very disappointed that you can’t go inside the little houses. Why do they build them then? Just to frustrate you? That’s what I think.

Toby and I had a long discussion about how a homeless person could probably break into one of these and live there for years without anyone ever finding out. I think that sounds like a good book I’d like to read. Anyone?

Anyway, it was good family time. Toby’s mom came. We haven’t seen her much lately (she’s in assisted living now) and it was good to just hang out with her and let her know we still care about her. I think she really enjoyed herself.

Then we hit the park which was way way way more fun than golfing and it was FREEEEE! Parks are the best, especially the ones with really good swings. Now that Bug can pump, it has made my whole park-going experience about a thousand times more fun.