We just had a scare. Yesterday was Baby Bug’s two month check up and she got five big ugly scary vaccination shots. It was horrible. There she was so happy and innocent in only her diaper on the examination table, waving her arms around, smiling with glee and then… we let the doctor stick her in the leg with five big ouchy needles when she wasn’t expecting it at all!

She wailed and screamed! She cried like I’d never seen her cry before. Nothing I could do calmed her down. I dressed her, held her close, tried to let her nurse, gave her her pacifier, rocked her, covered her with her soft pink blanket… nothing helped. I felt like I’d betrayed her in the worst way. How could I let them poke her like that?!!

The doctor said she’d be a little grumpy until we got to the car. He was wrong. She was grumpy the whole ride home and more. To make it worse, when we got home I handed her off to her grandmother. Tuesdays are my get-some-freelance-work-done-while-Grandma-babysits day. You thought I was done working? I thought so too. But the work keeps on coming anyway. I think I’m busier now than ever! Who knew being a mom could make my art more marketable. Anyway, that’s a tangent. What I came here to say is: I made it all worse by handing Baby Bug off to her Grandma and then hiding myself in my room behind a closed door.

The poor baby! She was distressed and her mom turned her back on her! Thankfully, her Grandma is pretty good at soothing babies and managed to keep her cries somewhat muffled and distracted by endless bouncing in the baby sling. But really Baby Bug wasn’t happy. I just chalked it up as her usual five-seven fussiness but Grandma said she wasn’t herself. She thought maybe the shots were making her feel sick.

When Grandma left, I snuggled Baby Bug extra close and tried to make up for my two hour abandonment and a whole days worth of scary tramatic things. I forgot to mention I had given her a bath in the morning before the doctor’s appointment. She’s not so fond of baths, even though I’ve been giving her one almost every other day to combat the exploding poop and endless goopy eye problems. But the snuggling just wasn’t good enough.

Her cries got louder and louder as seven crept into eight and then nine–a whole two hours past her bedtime. Finally around nine-thirty, she just wore herself out crying. By this time I was getting really worried so I woke her up again to take her temperature. What an awful parent I am. She had to cry for another half an hour just to get over the scary thermometer being stuck up her butt and then Toby and I arguing over whether or not you are supposed to use vaseline on the thermometer etc etc… It was awful. I’m surprised she hasn’t packed her bags and moved out.

She did sleep. But not well. Usually Baby Bug just barely wakes up to eat and then falls back to sleep again. Last night she wailed every time she woke up. It was almost like she was having nightmares from the days events. I felt so bad. I didn’t mind waking up a zillion times to hold her and rock her, it was the least I could do to say how sorry I was for all the horrible things that had been happening.

Then I worried more… because I am a mom and I must worry. You see I’ve gone and caught a cold. $#@!! I’m hoping that she won’t catch it because she is drinking the super stealth antibodies in my breast milk. But there is still a chance since we were both exposed to it at the same time. If she has a cold (or flu I guess I should call it) then her body is weak when it needs to be strong to fight off all those scary vaccination germs. Maybe that is what is making her so sad and upset. I tossed and turned all night thinking about it.

This morning I cuddled her on the couch and it seemed like things were not getting better. I skipped my morning shower and decided today we were just going to lay low and be sick together. I would hold her all day if I had to. This actually appeals to me since I’m feeling like crap anyway.

But then around ten-thirty as I put her on the changing pad to change yet another diaper, she smiled at me! And then she smiled some more! In fact, she smiled a lot and giggled and kicked and acted like her old happy self!!! I fed her and put her down for a nap in the bugaboo and she didn’t even scream. She slept a bit and then occupied herself for quite a while batting at her little crab toy that I keep attached to the side of the stroller. She’s never played with her crab toy this much. She bats at it now and then but I can’t figure out if it’s just in the way of her flailing arms or if she really is playing with it. Today she was definitely playing with it.

She seems happier than ever. Go figure!