• Bug,  illos

    the cute things she does

    I’ve been trying to figure out how I’m going to tell this story for days now. It involves sound effects and no matter what kind of wordsmith I think I am, I can’t figure out how to properly describe the punch line to this story. Not that it’s a funny joke or anything. I don’t want to lead you on that much. It’s just about this funny thing I caught Baby Bug doing the other day.

    First of all some background: Baby Bug and I play this game where we bump foreheads and cuddle. I make this sound that I can’t describe with words but it’s kind of an “aaaaaaahhhhh” sound up and down the scale in soft notes. I do it to her and then she does it back to me and then I say something like “Love the baby” over and over. She’s so darling when she does this to me. I just love her to pieces.

    Well. The other day we were doing our other ritual called “put the baby down for a nap”. This ritual is not so fun and loving. It usually involves lots of crying and fussing and throwing the pacifier on the floor that has to be retrieved and so on and so on. We are not yet to the point where I can just put her in her crib at the scheduled time and she will fall asleep all by herself. No. It’s a battle. And according to my Mom, not a battle I’m going to win. Apparently, I was just like Baby Bug and I NEVER ever wanted to take a nap. I officially gave them up at the young age of two. TWO! So yeah, I’ve got my work cut out for me.

    Sometimes, when soft stroking of her forehead and singing and rocking and low light and her soft fuzzy bunny in her bed with her don’t work, I try the other route. I close the door and ignore the sad pitiful cries of desperation. And boy are they desperate. She will try every trick in the book to get me to come back in the room and console her. From blowing raspberries to singing to crying until her voice is gone, she will try her whole repertoire of sounds mixed in with sad pathetic whimpers of pain. I hate it. It’s like slowly tearing my fingernails backwards as I sit in the other room watching the minute hand on our kitchen clock slowly tick by the allotted amount of time before I give in and go back in to comfort her.

    After going through this routine for about twenty minutes the other day, she became suddenly quiet. Eerily so. I tiptoed to her room and peeked around the nearly shut door. Could she be asleep already? Did she give in at last? Nope. There she was sitting up and holding her pink fuzzy bunny to her forehead and softly saying “aaaaaaaah” as she nuzzled it with her head. Just like she does with me. It melted my heart. My little baby girl, she’s loving her bunny. How cute is that?!!!

    I don’t remember how the rest of the nap went. Whether I gave in and let her get up and play or if she finally did exhaust herself to sleep. These nap battles kind of blur into each other. I’m trying like mad to be consistent and teach her to take a nap but I’m a wet noodle when it comes to routine and schedules and sticking to my guns. I think she’s learning. Learning what I’m not sure. Sometimes she goes right down but other days, like today, she totally skipped her morning nap altogether. She took a noon nap (which is not regular at all) and then completely crashed at five-thirty p.m. It’s now seven-thirty p.m. and I have no idea if she’s down for the night or if she’ll wake up wanting dinner at nine. She has been getting in the habit of going to bed at seven (and with the time change that turned into six) so maybe she’s down for the night. And maybe that means I’ll be getting up with her at 3:30 in the morning and having breakfast at four. Joy.

    Sarcasm aside, isn’t joy what being a parent is all about? Toby and I were talking about how much more joyful we are on a daily basis because of this darling little munchkin that we have tottering about us all day. She really does bring us more happiness than I ever imagined.

    Now if only I could figure out how to make a wave file so I could post the “aaaaaah” sound. Maybe I’ll catch her doing it again for her 10 month movie.

  • illos,  the great illness of 06

    My gallbladder has sludge.

    My doctor finally called. Did I tell you she left on maternity leave yesterday? I was fit to be tied this morning when I finally got through to her office and they told me that. What?!!! I’m just left here hanging with no news of what’s going on with my insides that hurt like they got caught in a bicycle chain?!! No follow up appointment? No nothing! Help!!!!! I can’t live like this!

    Thankfully her office staff is on the ball. I told them how serious my problem was and the woman on the phone told me she would call the ultrasound place, get my report and then have another doctor call me back with my results. Then a few hours later my phone rang and it was my doctor calling from her home to give me my results. I could hear her kids in the background squabbling.

    How cool is my doctor? She’s out to here pregnant (though it would have been nice to know she was leaving on maternity leave two days after I saw her), she takes care of me and THEN she calls me WHILE she is on her maternity leave AND her kids are going nuts in the background. I love her. She must know how terrible it is to feel crappy and have a baby at the same time.

    So the results are this: My symptoms are not typical (I have no pain in my shoulders or upper quadrant of my body) but I do have sludge in my gallbladder. Not stones but sludge. This could be what is causing my problem or it could not. She is referring me to a surgeon so that they can access it better than she can. My doctor says that these surgeons are experts at this because they get people with theses types of symptoms all the time and they will not perform surgery unless they are 100% sure it will improve my life.

    SURGERY! Yikes.

    I hope it is the gallbladder though. I’m tired of this mystery illness. It would be nice to know I can avoid pain by just avoiding high fat foods. But even better I just want to yank that sucker out and be done with it. I hope I can have surgery and get better before Thanksgiving. Can you imagine not being able to eat fatty foods on THANKSGIVING DINNER!!! NO GRAVY! NO STUFFING! NO MARSHMALLOWS on top of the yams! (Wait, do marshmallows have fat in them? If not, I need some stat.) What am I going to do? I hope I can get in and get out quick and get better even quicker.

    I’ve never been so sick before and been so starving. Usually if I’m going to be doing any up-chucking, the last thing I want to do is eat something but nooooooooo….I AM SO HUNGRY!!! I am literally starving to death. All I think about is what I could eat if I wasn’t sick. Cold pizza, cheesecake, meatballs, spaghetti, butternut squash with lots of butter, Reese’s peanut butter cups… man oh man am I hungry. And all I can eat is oatmeal. Out of desperation, I ask Toby what I can eat. He looks at me with a straight face and says, “Oat bran?” Great. Thanks a lot. Just what I wanted. I might as well just go eat some hay.

    Toby doesn’t think it’s my gallbladder. He could be right too. It definitely is related to eating though. I get really sick about two hours after I eat anything. It just so happens that the sickest I got was from drinking a big ol’ glass of milk (but it tasted soooo good!), which is high in fat. I don’t know. I’m totally confused.

    I’m just relieved that I’m seeing the surgeon tomorrow and things are moving. I’m actually feeling better on my new diet of oatmeal. Oatmeal is really boring though. I think I might try rice tonight.