• Buddies,  Family Matters,  the sticks,  Tis the Season

    We love our dog.

    dogs don't pose

    We took our Christmas card photos yesterday. It wasn’t really a big deal. I used my handy dandy waterproof point-and-shoot camera and took most of them handheld. A few were self-timer and then later my mom came to the rescue and took some more. I’m much more casual about our photos than most families I ‘spose. I figure the people I’m sending them to don’t mind crazy candid shots as opposed to something fancy and set up in a studio. Of course studio portraits are always nice but such pain in the butt to pull off. They always boggle me with their packages that never include the poses I want.

    Holly and Bug toes family portrait time 1

    Anyway, I bribed Bug with her advent calendar candy (which she was going to get anyway) and we pulled the dog in too. Holly is such a huge part of our life now. She’s so sweet! She goes everywhere we go. She won’t even leave our sides except a few times randomly to go wandering down the street three houses away. The fence in our yard is not nearly high enough and she lumbers over it without even sneezing. But usually, she likes to stay in the house with us which is fine with me because guess what? She doesn’t stink!!! I’m serious. She’s the perfect dog.

    come on dog!

    She’s not very good at posing though. And she’s also black, which is pretty much impossible to photograph. Silly dog.

    mom pile

    the dog is not cooperating

    What’s a family portrait session without a million and one outtakes, right?

    christmas imp rubbing Holly's tummy

    Holly thought it was a family love session. Which it sort of was.

    us

    In the end, I love this one the most. Secret of this pose? I was tickling her. How else do you get kids to cooperate in pictures? I ended up designing the card with six of the photos on one card, which is good because a lot of them were blurry and I’m hoping that printing them small will improve their quality. We shall see.

    But while I’m on the subject of the dog…

    sigh

    Is this normal? Do dogs normally sit in chairs?

    chairs are for dogs, silly kid

    She does it all the time. In fact, Bug was quite perturbed with her because she wanted to sit in that chair and no manner of cajoling would get Holly out of it. Finally, Bug just sat on top of her and Holly didn’t even flinch. She’s such a nutty dog. She doesn’t even like dog treats. We’ve tried them all. She only likes pig’s ears, which are kind of gross. Have you seen them? They are, in fact, an entire pig ear right off the pig. Yuck. I like my food to be a little less literal. But Holly eats them and it’s better than giving her cake so we buy them and give them out on rare occasions.

    she sleeps on my bed!

    Also this. Is this normal too? She sneaks onto my bed when I’m not looking and likes to take naps there. She knows she’s not supposed to though so when I come in the room scolding her, she guiltily slinks off and flops down on her dog bed with a huge sigh. She totally sighs just like a human. She also snores and farts (but not stinky ones of course).

    this is what she does

    She’s family.

    In other news, it has come to my attention that my friend Heather has started a fund raiser for me. She’s crazy! And then, she contacted some big time bloggers (who I am blessed to call friends) and they wrote about it and pretty much blew up my site with all kinds of people coming to see how I’m doing. That’s why this site was down the other day, if you were wondering. Your love done broke my blog.

    Anyway, I’m terribly at a loss for words on how to thank everyone properly. People are coming out of the woodwork to donate a few dollars here and there and it is crazily adding up! I don’t have access to the amount but Heather has been sending me emails now and then. I’m shocked and awed and just completely out of the right words. So please help me to stay humble and use this blessing properly.

  • Family Matters,  Life Lessons,  Moody Blues

    Goodbye Texas

    South 244

    I left Texas with tears in my eyes. I still tear up just thinking about it. Texas was just what I needed when I was going through a terrible time. I feel like I’ve left a part of my heart behind but I’m stronger now than I was when I went so I think Texas did what it was supposed to do for me. Thank you Texas. I’ll always be thinking of you.

    I don’t want to share too much here on this blog but I went to Texas because I needed some time to figure out what was going on with my life. Toby and I have been going through some rough times (years, really) and I’ve finally come to the conclusion that Bug and I need to move out for a bit. It was not an easy decision to come to. I feel like I’m ripping up my family and that rips up my heart. I love Toby dearly and I loved our little life by the beach but until we work out some big issues, I need space. I’m taking Bug to the beach weekly to spend time with her dad but mostly we’ll be away.

    I’m temporarily moving out to the sticks next door to my mom, into my grandpa’s old place. Rent is cheap and family is nearby so it seems like the right thing to do. Sometimes I wonder though. My grandpa’s place needs a lot of work and I’m buried up to my eyeballs trying to make it a home. You all know my struggles I’ve had with my family and the sticks so I’m sure you can imagine what I’m going through. There is so much I love out here and there is so much that I hate. It’s bittersweet.

    Sometimes I just want to give up and cry but then the sun rises, lighting up the bright desert sky with streaks of white and gold over the big mountains and I have hope. I meant to take a picture this morning but by the time I had grabbed my camera (I got distracted as usual), the beauty had faded. I’ll be out here for a while though so maybe one of these mornings I’ll catch it. The desert is a beautiful place. It can be desolate but it’s also beautiful. I just hope I can scratch out a living here. If you’re the praying kind maybe you could pray for us.

    Next week Bug and I will be flying out to Washington DC for a month to help Bethany in case she has her baby early. I’m in charge of setting up the baby’s room and possibly painting a room or two—which will be great for keeping my spirits up. And of course Bug will be playing with her best friend Annalie so I think that will be good for her too. It will be like we’re putting our stressful life on pause for a month, which is nice but of course life will still be here waiting for us when we get back. So pray for us. Toby too.

    I’m reluctantly closing the comments on this post because I don’t want to open up a public forum for people to pick apart my marriage and all the mistakes Toby and I have made but if you want to email me that is fine. I hope you understand.