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That one time at a party when my daughter fell into the koi pond…
The other day (I can’t believe it was last Thursday, already) Bug and I attended a party at the local outdoor mall. I used to get paid to photograph events like this. Store openings, new clothing lines, celebrity in town promoting a charity….something or other to celebrate in an actual store as the venue. They’re kind of fun and you usually get free drinks, some kind of itty bitty food that looks pretty on a napkin and maybe a swag bag.
I hadn’t been to an event like this in ages so I have to admit I was a bit excited. It’s fun to dress up like a grown-up and sip champagne with all the other fancy ladies once in a while. I thought I would find a babysitter for Bug but by the time the date came around I had no one lined up.
So I took her with me! Which was awesome!
I forgot that shopping parties can sometimes be a little dull when you don’t have any money to spend and you don’t have the actual job of flashing a camera in everyone’s face. So taking Bug with me as my wing-girl was the best. She was my best gal pal ever. We wandered the store, touched all the clothes, tried on a few things, made comments about the displays, flopped on the stripey bed and took pictures of each other (quite a few bad ones of me, I might add.)…
I had champagne. She had fizzy water (which she did not like) and micro doughnuts (which she did like). We both got our nails done and she got her hair braided with a very tiny but very long braid. We mingled around a bit and had a great time.
To Bug, the mall is that ultimate destination of adventure. She’s always loved it. It’s not about shopping. It’s about the fountains and the koi ponds and walking around and looking at all the pretty things. Of course she does whine for this or that once in a while. She LOVES clothes and fashion (note her giant headband of choice lately) but she’s pretty used to me muttering about birthday lists and Christmas.
We had a great time. But the best part was when we visited the koi pond “for old time’s sake.”
So I’m standing there looking down at my phone (usual mom activity) while she was looking at the koi. There were lots of kids there for her to play with so I spaced out for a minute or two. Next thing I know, I hear a big splash and there is my daughter standing in the pond with both feet, water up to her knees.
What the what?!! She’s seven!
Apparently, she had both toes over the edge, just seeing if the big yellow koi would nibble at her toes and then next thing she knew she fell in standing up with both feet. I’d like to thank all her gymnastics training for the fact that she didn’t tumble, slipping and sliding on all the algae and end up in the murky water up to her nose.
Poor thing, she was so embarrassed. Her eyes were watering and her lip was quivering. Everyone was looking at her. I swished over to her, helped her out and hid her in my giant skirt. “Walk it off.” I said with my happiest but most sincere face I could muster because I know, even though it’s not a big deal to fall into the koi pond, she was mortified. She was about to cry. It was going to turn ugly. I knew we had to spin this quick because she was dying a thousand deaths of embarrassment.
So we walked. Squishy wet walking through the mall with all the pretty fancy ladies on all sides of us. It’s amazing what you can walk off if you walk fast enough and act like everything is normal. By the time we got three stores away from the pond, Bug was smiling. Then she was laughing and before I knew it she was bragging about how that was the funniest thing ever and she couldn’t wait to tell everyone.
I’m so proud of her.
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Mama Bear Roars at the Recital
I knew something was going to go wrong was when I dropped Bug off at her dance recital and her name wasn’t on the sign-in sheet. It’s kind of a big dance company and things get a little unorganized at times so right away I was worried. Did we show up for the wrong show? Was her dance not part of the program? Is it just a typo or do we not exist?
Then I saw her teacher and she led Bug off to the back stage area where all the other dancers were. Everything seemed okay. I just wrote Bug’s name in at the bottom of the sign-in sheet along with about five other parents who also couldn’t find their kids’ names. I was a little ticked but these things happen. I’m the queen of typos myself so I really can’t judge.
As the lights dimmed and I read over the program my heart sank. Bug’s name wasn’t on the program either. She had two dances and one dance was completely left off. The other dance was listed but no Bug. I sat there for a while seething. Should I just let it go? Would Bug be sad when the MC read off everyone else’s name and not her’s? Toby pays a lot of money for Bug to be in this program. The costumes are outrageously expensive. Bug’s been practicing her dance for months! Are we just a number to be forgotten? I was getting mad.
Of course I don’t want to be one of those parents who complain about everything so I sat there for quite a while trying to keep my temper in check. Toby was there too and he agreed with me that I should do something. There was a lot of time between dances (due to costume changes) so I went off to see if I could find someone who could tell the MC to add Bug’s name back in.
Of course this wouldn’t be a very good story if that worked out. You know it didn’t. The ushers were completely helpless and anybody who could call the shots was already backstage. One usher said I could talk to the manager on Monday which did me no good. The show was going on right then and after the recital Bug is taking a break from dance, possibly even quitting. Couldn’t they do anything? Bug’s dance was coming up quickly. The ushers just shook their heads. One of them even got a little defensive with me which was weird because I wasn’t being rude about it. You’d think they’d want to apologize at the very least.
I didn’t want to disrupt the backstage process. They have a show to put on and obviously they were already having difficulties since there were such long breaks between dances. I know better than to mess with that so I went back to my seat and sat through another dance but my unhappiness wouldn’t go away. It was bee in my bonnet at this point. How dare they slight my child like that? the mama bear in me grumbled.
I decided to try and talk to the MC myself. He was situated at the top of the theatre in a room with a window. I climbed the stairs to the back and tried to open the door. It was locked. I knocked. I waited. I knocked again. The MC was chattering away trying to kill time between dances. He didn’t hear me or maybe he did and couldn’t take the time to answer. I don’t know. I went back down to my seat defeated.
What could I do?
Finally Bug came on stage with all her fellow dancers and they read out the names one by one. I waited. When the last name was read I yelled out as loud as I could “AND BUG!!!!” Except of course I used her real name which is quite melodic since it has three syllables. I had the biggest voice ever and it rocked around the theatre. I could feel everyone turning in their seat to look at me in the dark. A few other parents whistled and clapped.
Shouting like that was actually quite shocking if you know me in real life because usually I have a very quiet mouse voice that nobody can hear. But I guess even a mouse can roar when her baby is getting overlooked.
Bug looked up and I could see a smile from ear to ear. I was worried I embarrassed her but when I asked her about it afterwards she said no. It made her proud—which makes me proud. So who cares about the stupid program and the stupid dance company, both Bug and I left with smiles on our faces.
Her dance was really cute. Her teacher choreographed it really well and combined her dance with another class of older kids. It’s a musical theatre class so it was so neat to see them snapping their fingers and running around with their arms outstretched, doing big Vegas style kicks. It was really cute. Maybe cutting their music off abruptly at the end wasn’t so smooth but that’s not the dancer’s or the teacher’s fault. That’s sort of normal.
I’d like to say that’s the end of the story but of course not, pffft. I got home and wrote a passive agressive email to the management because apparently I wasn’t quite over it. I tried to make it really nice though. I know putting on a show with hundreds of kids is stressful. Lots of things go wrong. It’s show business! Really, all I wanted them to do was apologize. I just want to leave with good feelings about the company. But I guess they don’t understand that. Maybe they are sick of parents in general. I’m sure they are actually.
Her teacher did call me though to apologize even though it wasn’t her fault and there wasn’t anything she could do. And guess what? She’s quitting! Not over the program errors, that would be silly, but apparently management doesn’t get a lot of other things either—which doesn’t really surprise me at all. She’s already got another job which also doesn’t surprise me. She’s really good. Bug’s taken two classes with her and loved her.
So, moral of the story? Don’t mess with my kid. I’ll roar at you.
