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Random Instagram Dump
I’ve discovered that if I don’t blog here, my traffic goes down and if my traffic goes down, I get less sponsored gigs. Go figure! Hmmm…. So how about a rambling post about the few things that I can write about?
1. Balance
I feel much more balanced than I have in months. It’s been a long hard journey but I feel like I’m finally getting somewhere with my work life and my social life. They’ve been at odds for years. I’m finally getting a good rhythm, balancing my work days with my go-out-to coffee mornings and my hang-out-with-my -neighbors-and-chat-the-day-away afternoons. It feels so much better to be balanced. I’m happy and I can pay my bills too! It’s a great feeling.
2. Bug.
Oh, that girl. She is the light of my days. She is brilliant and sweet and turning in the most curious of creatures. She’s got a quiet side to her these days. She’s not so outgoing as she used to be. She likes to explore nature and wander around by herself more than she used to. She reads whole books in a day. It’s pretty amazing. One of her good friends moved away and I think her natural balance of friends has tipped a little and she’s still adjusting. She might be a bit of an introvert which is okay.
She recently went through a terrible time with anxiety. Her old trigger (kids puking in class) happened a couple times this last month (it’s life) and she went on a tailspin of anxiety about going to school in the morning. We tried toughing it out and it just wasn’t working. I was literally pushing her into her teacher’s arms in the morning while both of us had panic attacks.
Finally, her dad stepped in and he took her to school two mornings in a row. She didn’t like missing me but I felt like we were going backwards into separation anxiety that we’d conquered in kindergarden. So being with her dad was helpful. He’s a little more firm and a little less weak at the sight of her crying. She’s a smart girl, she figured it out. We’re looking into therapy too to see if maybe talking to someone besides me and her dad can help. It’s so hard to know what to do sometimes. But she does seem better and I’m so relieved. She’s brave and so proud of herself when she gets through a day. I love seeing her smiling when I pick her up.
3. Curry for dinner!
Bug is the pickiest of picky eaters. She doesn’t like butter or cheese or sauce except sometimes when you least expect it. She’ll take a liking to something rare and special like super sharp cheddar or havarti of all things. But it’s a small window of favor and as soon as you stock up on the new food she will quickly dislike it. She doesn’t like anything with garlic or anything too sweet like barbeque sauce. And then she takes on other people’s opinions about food too. She’s got all her dad’s idiosyncrasies about germs and restaurants and food that other people prepare… it’s just a real challenge to feed this girl. She’s not keen on Ranch dressing or even pizza. All the go-to foods that you can google for picky eaters, she does not like. In fact, I don’t even know what she does like. It’s the holy grail for me to cook something that she actually eats with gusto.
So you can imagine my glee when she requested curry for dinner last night. I almost did a cartwheel. She never requests anything (well besides Ramen noodles and Easy Mac which both have the nutritional value of a potato chip). Plus, I LOVE curry too. Yum!
We still make time for little outings. Both of us love it so much. I never remember to take my camera with me anymore (also my kit lens is crapping out on me which is a huge drag) but I love getting good instagram shots. We hit the beach the other day after I picked her up from her dad’s. It’s hard sometimes that we don’t live there anymore but that doesn’t mean we can’t visit and walk around like the locals we used to be.
5. Gray
Do you see my gray hair? I am seriously going gray this year. It’s a turning point.
6. Glendora
Bug’s good friend (and her mom who is my good friend too) moved to Glendora so we’ve visited them a few times. They have this park there called Big Tree Park and they’re not messing around with that name. This tree is HUGE. It was fun to sit around and talk with old friends while the kids scrambled and climbed the roots that are as big as dinosaur feet.
7. Long Walks
I’ve been trying to incorporate small changes in my activity level. I can’t seem to work in time at the gym anymore (too expensive and the windows I can go are better used for work) but I can work out in our little mini gym in our apartment complex and take walks with Bug or whomever will go with me. Bug loves to work out in the small gym. She loves working out in general for that matter, little shredder that she is. She likes to ride up and down the treadmill and show off how many more push-ups she can do than me. She is in such great shape.
Yesterday we took a long walk up a hill by our house. We were probably gone two hours and it got blustery and cold on us. That happens a lot. We go out and start exploring and we don’t turn around to go home early enough. Before we know it we are racing the sun and wishing we had worn heavier sweaters. But all was well and I got a lot of good instagram photos.
That’s all I got!
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Eight
Bug is turning eight tomorrow. EIGHT! I can’t believe it myself. She has been everything I ever wanted in a child. More than I ever expected. She is every joy I ever dreamed of and more! She’s such an easy and good kid, I don’t know how I got so lucky. I’m waiting for her to turn into a teenager and suddenly become a holy terror and make up for how pleasant she’s been all these years.
Sure, she’s gone through a few whiney stages and then there was that one year that she tested out lying but lately I can’t complain about anything. I’m getting off easy in the mothering department. From age four to now she has been a dream child. She’s so much quieter than most kids. She doesn’t bounce off the walls or shout or bicker. She’s thoughtful and smart. She never needs help with her homework. All I need to do is sit her down and provide her with quiet and a snack and just does her work without complaint. She rarely talks back to me. She stops when I tell her to stop playing that silly cups song she’s so attached to. She reads and plays and hardly makes a mess. What kind of kid doesn’t make a mess when they play? She gets excited and will jabber on like a normal girl but she’s just such an easy child. I think God knew what I could handle and gave me an extra special care package for delicate mothers.
I’m holding onto that care package with all my might. I know it’s going to vanish before I’m ready. Life is going by so fast. It’s easy for me to get caught up in my work and friendships and spread myself thin. I’m guilty of that. I’m a very social person and I love my job. We have a very full life. Everyday we are doing something new and sometimes it seems like I’m just fitting her into the leftover space in my schedule. I don’t want that for her. I know I felt that way with my parents busy lives and I resented it. But here I am doing the same thing.
Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing. I grew up to be a pretty motivated adult and maybe I learned it from them. I don’t know…
All I know is that the other day I was walking behind her at school drop off and admiring her healthy little behind thinking, she’s got her mother’s back side, poor kid. She’s not a little toddler anymore. I am not the mother of a little kid anymore. She’s growing up and she’s beautiful. I just want to treasure every moment before it’s gone forever.