-
Day Eight: Tour Guide Day
I guess I’ve run out of excuses for not blogging properly after last night’s post. That doesn’t mean I’m suddenly going to be a great night writer though. I’m just not a night person. I really miss the old days when I could type away after downing a big cup of coffee in the morning. Those were the days.
I do have a lot to talk about though. I’ve been having a lot of fun showing Bethany Actually around town (ie: forcing her to go to Ralphs with me… What? Don’t all tourists want to go grocery shopping?). I took her along on all my normal routines. The beach, the park… stuff like that.
Too bad the weather has pretty much been like crap. Gray, cold, dreary, foggy… like it is here all winter, we just forget about it because the really pretty days stick in your memory so much more. Bethany says she doesn’t mind. She likes cold weather. She must be a nut.
Obviously. Which is sort of why I like her.
-
Day Seven
Once upon a time there was a blogger who fell asleep while putting her baby/toddler to bed. Maybe she should not be laying down to help her toddler to sleep, you say? And maybe you are right but nonetheless this is what this blogger does because she likes to spend quiet moments with her toddler and she is always tired all the live long day.
Every night she falls asleep with her toddler and then she wakes with a fright at 10:45 because the cat yowled or something and she jumps up and freaks out because she has yet to write a stupid dumb nablowpomo-gumbo-shoe-blow-a-go-go post. She thinks it is 11:45 because of course she has not yet fixed her clock to reflect the time change that has taken place so she is sorely afraid she has failed the great stupid dumb nablowpomo-gumbo-shoe-blow-a-go-go contest she has so stupidly joined.
So she rushes out to her computer and groggily types up some kind of pathetic dribble that nobody wants to read and vows that she will never ever join such a silly contest again because, really, what is the point? Nobody wants to read this sort of crap.
The end.
But then she remembers the silly iced tea story she wanted to tell but decides she is way too tired to write it properly and decides to tease her readers with it instead. Which they are surely tired of, since she teases them all the time with posts that she never gets around to writing. But let me just say that it is very funny and it involves a purse and the contents of a purse and good old fashioned bad luck.
At the stroke of 11:29, the poor blogger is attacked by the bad punctuation monster and dies a horribly bloody death. BUT yet, just before she gasps her last strangled breath, she reaches over and hits publish and up goes her post onto the world wide internet. By sheer luck and bad taste she has posted and not broken the great stupid dumb nablowpomo-gumbo-shoe-blow-a-go-go spell. Which by the way, is not stupid or dumb or blowing for all those other prolific and wonderful writerly bloggers. They are quite brilliant, in fact.
The end, the end!