First Love

For the very first time yesterday I looked down at my belly (that doesn’t even look like a pregnant belly yet) and said, “I wish you were here already”. It kind of took me by surprise because all my life I’ve been looking forward to being pregnant. There is no reason to rush this. I know babies can be exhausting and I know I need to take myself out to dinner and the movies and do every thing I ever wanted to do alone, now, while I still have the chance. I know the quiet solitude I enjoy, now, is the last I will have probably for the next 18 years. So what’s the rush?

I guess I’m starting to think of this “condition” as a person I just can’t wait to meet.

Swisha Squisha Swisha Squisha

Apparently my baby is doing a load of laundry in my womb. In other words, WE HEARD THE HEART BEAT TODAY!!!!! It was the most amazing thing ever. I’m still feeling all giddy about it thinking about it.

And then I’m feeling sad for anybody who is trying to get pregnant and reading this because I remember how much it sucks to watch all your friends get pregnant and wonder and worry if you’ll ever get to go through it too. If you are sad, my heart goes out to you. I wish I could package up my baby and send it to you because you deserve a baby just as much as I do. You know what. Don’t feel sad. Go out and treat yourself to a big fat mocha with lots of whipped cream. Because you can.

Aside from feeling guilty for being so happy that I can hardly stand it, I just want to type it down so I can go back and remember this moment forever. It was the most amazing moment EVER!

Toby and I got to the doctor’s office a half an hour late BECAUSE… you’ll never guess why…because I got so absorbed in writing my post about car shopping this morning that I completely didn’t pay attention to the clock and next thing I knew I had three seconds to take a shower and get Toby up and out the door. It’s all your fault internet. Just kidding. It’s all good. You know how doctor’s offices are. They don’t care if you’re a half an hour early or a half an hour late, you still have to sit around and wait and read their crappy magazines.

When we got in the room, the doctor made me lift up my dress and then she rubbed this jelly on my pooch of a belly. Then she stuck this archaic looking contraption and ALL OF A SUDDEN OUT OF NOWHERE….

SWISHA-SWISH SQUISHA-SQUISH SWISHA-SWISH SQUISHA-SQUISHA!!!

It was so loud! Our baby was right there making the strongest sounding heart beat you’ve ever heard. Even our doctor was surprised at how easily she found it. I guess sometimes you really have to root around before you hear anything besides the gurgling of your intestines.

It was awesome. I fell in love immediately. I don’t know exactly what it was, but it even SOUNDED cute. I can tell my baby is going to be adorable already. Toby said it sounded like the baby was on agitate mode in a washing machine. I have to agree. The doctor said the baby’s heart was beating 170 beats a minute. That’s pretty fast. My heart was beating at 70 beats a minute. I have no idea if that is fast. It should be, because I was pretty excited. Toby was too. It was a fun thing to do together. I’m really glad he came with me. I’m lucky too.

There was this other girl in the waiting room. She was about 20 and drop dead gorgeous and the guy with her was a total jerk. He seemed annoyed that he even had to be there and when she asked him to come with her to meet the doctor, he gave her this surly scowl. How crappy is that? But I don’t know the whole story.

I just know I have a lot to be thankful for.