I still have not found my scanner, but things are happening!

When I woke up today in the wee hours of the morning (as Toby was climbing into bed after staying up all night working) he informed me that I left his van door open ALL DAY LONG. He found it’s open state when he went out to get cigarettes at one in the morning. His car battery is dead because the interior light drained it. This is just proof that I have completely lost it. It’s completely my fault. I didn’t even know how to tell him how sorry I am. Leaving Toby’s van open is a pretty big deal. Toby keeps all his camera equipment in his van. I can’t be leaving doors unlocked. How did this happen?

Well, my sister-in-law and I were installing the new car seat in Toby’s van, probably around noon time or so. (Yay! I have a car seat!) When she was done giving me all the instructions I needed (which are a lot considering my ineptitude these days), I walked across the street to say goodbye to my nieces who were buckled up and waiting patiently in my mom’s car to go back to Hemet. After I was done saying my goodbyes, I never went back and closed the door! Can you say, AIR HEAD!!!!! I hit the button on Toby’s key chain to make the doors lock and when I saw his headlights blink I just assumed everything was hunky dory.

This is so not me! I never assume everything is hunky dory. I always double check because I know how important it is to keep Toby’s things locked up tight. Even if we do live in a super safe neighborhood. We can’t risk losing what keeps food on our table. I just cannot believe I would do such a stupid thing. When Toby told me this morning, I burst into tears. That seems to be my only way of coping these days. I don’t mean to be such a cry baby just to get out of a major guilt trip/lecture from Toby. I really don’t. It just happens. In fact, Toby has taken to making fun of me when I start tearing up. I’m a wreck.

I spent the rest of the day waiting for the carpet cleaner to come and de-cat-vomit the rug in the baby’s room. Yay! I have a clean rug now! Before he came, I swept out the closet , cleaned up door knobs and light switch plates and pretty much spent a whole lot of time staring at my boxes from my make-shift-kitchen-counter office. I rearranged the boxes about five times and found some Christmas presents to wrap but I couldn’t really get anything done with the baby’s room until the carpet is clean.

At three, the carpet man came and now my ugly gray carpet has the appearance of being spic and span! It’s so lovely. At seven, we are going to go pick up our crib and maybe after that we will assemble it. I’m not getting my hopes up though. Toby’s really had to spread himself pretty thin with work. He spent all day Saturday and Sunday moving his office and then all night Sunday night getting work done that was due Monday morning. I about lost it on the phone when his clients called first thing looking for some part or piece of whatever he is working on. I wanted to scream at them, ” Do you have any idea what it feels like to be about to pop a baby? I really really need Toby more than you do right now.” But I refrained and kept my crazy madness to myself.

I did set up the bassinet in our bedroom. That makes me feel a lot better. I don’t have any diapers, crib sheets, hangers or even a coming-home-from-the-hospital outfit but I do feel so much more prepared now that there is a place for the baby to go IF she happened to come early. I don’t feel like my life is just stuck in the perpetual rut that it has been in. Things are really happening. There’s no going back now!

Maybe I’ll find my scanner tomorrow!