Is It Spring Yet?

This winter has been incredibly hard for just about everyone I know. There have been more challenges than usual, more mental illness than we are used to, and more bad news than usual. Is that even possible? Or am I looking at the world as a half-empty glass?

After what seems like forever, I feel it in my bones that things are changing. I feel it every day when the sun comes out a little more and the gloom and cold gradually drift away. I haven’t been this excited about spring since I had a massive garden with baby pea pods popping up from the ground when I lived in the sticks. Remember that joy? It was great.

When Cody and I walk every morning, I feel more hopeful. I’m sorry I haven’t shown up here much. I’ve been working a lot, but mostly, I spend my free time self-soothing on a stream of social media content. It’s such a bad habit. I used to show up here to self-soothe, but I’ve gotten addicted to spacing out on lively content just as badly as everyone else.

So here’s a quick recap for the books (and by books, I mean my book, which is this online journal). February came and went. I felt all thirty days of it. Valentine’s was excellent because I have a convenient long-distance boyfriend who shows up when I need a man fix. Long-distance relationships have their perks. I made one bouquet of red flowers, which I love. I should have made more; my phone rang off the hook, but I wasn’t prepared because overhead capital has been scarce. It takes money to make money, etc.

Bug invited her boyfriend to their winter formal with this cute puzzle she ordered online. Isn’t it cool how social media has changed how people ask each other out to dances these days? It’s a crazy, creative show-off contest. I feel bad for people who don’t have the time or energy to think up new ways of asking each other out. But I like what they do come up with. Of course, I made the flowers.

The Farmer’s Market has been a joy. Bug is in charge of groceries these days, and she has bougie tastes. I am not complaining, especially since she’s buying. I’m so proud of this kid.

I’m doing flowers for a couple of weddings next month, so we made a quick trip to the Cantina to take photos and do inventory. I’m very excited about these weddings. I’m sure I’ll be sharing pictures here soon.

The biggest spring news is that Bug and I are finally moving out of our expensive apartment that I can’t afford. My mom and I went apartment-hunting and found several more apartments just out of my budget. I’m trying to get approved for one of them, and I have high hopes that I’ll pull it off with more hustling, but the risk is still very frightening. The hardest part is that Bug will have to go live with her dad if I don’t find an apartment to move to. Of course, he’s happy about that, but I’m crying every day at the thought. She’s not ready to be a full-grown adult yet. The world is too scary and expensive!! I can’t say more about that, but you know this over-protective mama’s heart.

I do have a safety net with my parents. If I didn’t have so many responsibilities in Orange County, I’d move home in a minute.

I mean, look at these guys. Who wouldn’t want to live with them? They are adorable. And, no, Bug can’t move home with my parents with me. There are HOA politics there, and Bug has a job and a life here.

So I comfort myself while I wait with pets and early morning walks. Things will be better soon.

Keep us in your prayers.

p.s. This month’s banner was created with AI. I know! It’s cheating and not the usual SAJ style, but it took forever to get something similar done. Clicking out petal by petal takes so much time! Messing around with AI generation got me the same result in a fraction of the time!! It’s a little wonky—too many gradients, inconsistent light source—but you know what? If I didn’t knock it out, I probably wouldn’t even be writing this post.