BIG news,  Family Matters

Grandpa

May 19, 2011 /

grandpa

My grandpa died at 4am this morning.

I went to visit him yesterday, spurred on by your many comments and I’m so glad I did. Thank you for that. I wasn’t going to go because I thought it would be better to remember that moment of him smiling at Bug and leave it at that but I was wrong. I’m so glad I went. He was awake. He was lucid. He recognized both Bug and I. I hugged him and cried on his shoulder. I told him to say hi to Grandma for me and tell her that I miss her. I told him everything was okay and I babbled on about how much I like living in his house. I’m not even sure what I said or what he heard without his hearing aids. He smiled and kissed my hand and patted my head. At one point he even said Bug’s real name out loud. It was special.

They moved him to a new home for some reason I’m not entirely sure about. Something to do with medication and hospice care yada yada yada. I’m just glad I was there when they moved him. I don’t know how stressful a move was for him but I’m sure me being there made it better for him. I sat with him for a long while and then when he drifted off I finally went home. And then this morning my dad called me at five am to tell me he had passed on.

The funeral will be next Saturday I think. Family and friends will be showing up soon. The worst is over.

79 Comments

  • Melinda

    May 19, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    Aw sweetie. I’m so sorry about your grandpa. I loved what you’ve shared in your past few entries about him. It is so very clear he was very loved and will be missed tremendously. Know that some stranger out there is all welled up just thinking about that love and your wonderful bond. You know, I heard someone the other day call the day someone died their angel day and I LOVED that. Today is your grandpa’s angel day.

  • Madge

    May 19, 2011 at 1:19 pm

    I’m so, so happy that you had those last moments with your grandpa. I’m around if you need to chat.

    Thanks for sharing all the pictures. I love them all.

  • Elizabeth

    May 19, 2011 at 1:27 pm

    I’m sorry about your grandpa. It sounds like he had a good love and was really loved by his family, though. From what you say about your family, they all sound like sweeties. You are very lucky, so treasure the ones you have around you, as I know you will. I always enjoy reading your blog and hearing about your life.

  • Elizabeth

    May 19, 2011 at 1:28 pm

    I meant to say he had a good “life,” though a “good love” is probably accurate, too!

  • Stacy

    May 19, 2011 at 1:29 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss. From the stories that you’ve shared and the pictures that you included in this post, it is very evident that your grandpa loved you & Bug very much and that he was surrounded by people who loved him.

  • Carrie

    May 19, 2011 at 1:44 pm

    I am so very sorry about your grandpa’s passing. I know you will always treasure those photos of him and also the memories you’ve written about him here in your blog. Thank you for sharing such a special person with us all! Sending you and Bug big hugs!

  • CAROL S-U

    May 19, 2011 at 2:14 pm

    I’m sad to read of your loss, but so happy for your last visit with him and the comfort it obviously brought him, as well… Thinking of you all.

  • Joe

    May 19, 2011 at 2:32 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear that Brenda but am very glad you got to spend that last bit of time with him. Hugs to Bug from Kassie and I too.

  • TexasLea

    May 19, 2011 at 2:57 pm

    Like so many of the others, I am sorry he is no longer here, but I am so happy for all the wonderful memories you have, including the ones of yesterday. I don’t think it was just luck that he was lucid when you went to see him. I hope you can take comfort in knowing your Grandpa is at peace now. Big hugs for you and your family.

  • simply heidi

    May 19, 2011 at 3:05 pm

    Oh Brenda, I am sorry to hear that he has passed away, but I am so glad you got to have this one more memory with him. You and your family will be in my prayers.

  • Sandy W

    May 19, 2011 at 4:54 pm

    So sorry to hear of your loss. You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers. The story and pictures brought tears to my eyes. I’m so glad you go to see him one last time.

  • Laurie

    May 19, 2011 at 7:56 pm

    So sorry for your loss. Beatiful writing to capture such an intense, bittersweet time. God bless.

  • amy

    May 19, 2011 at 8:32 pm

    I am so glad for your thankful goodbye.. How fortunate you are to have had such a relationship with your Grandpa and the Bug did too :)

  • leslie

    May 19, 2011 at 11:31 pm

    i hope that you&your family find peace, strength and lots of love in the next few days&weeks!
    so glad you got to say goodbye!

  • cat

    May 20, 2011 at 12:23 am

    So sorry to hear about your grandpa. I just lost my grandpa 2 months ago. He was 93. We knew it was coming but it just isn’t real until it is. I’m sorry for your sadness but also glad that you had such a wonderful grandpa to love and cherish. Just as I did.

  • isaida

    May 20, 2011 at 4:14 am

    So sorry for your loss. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

    The pictures are beautiful memories you will always have of your grandpa :)

  • Emily

    May 20, 2011 at 4:43 am

    You and your family are in my prayers. Beautiful pictures. Thank you for sharing your grandpa with us.

  • Aurora

    May 20, 2011 at 4:55 am

    Thank you for sharing those beautiful pictures. So glad you got some more precious time with him.

  • BeachMama

    May 20, 2011 at 5:19 am

    Oh Brenda, so glad you got to visit with him one last time. I fear if you hadn’t have gone you would have looked back and wanted that one last visit. Will be keeping you all in my Prayers this weekend. xoxo

  • a chris

    May 20, 2011 at 5:22 am

    So happy you and Bug and he had the opportunity to have a visit and say a good goodbye to each other. You couldn’t predict that he would be awake and lucid, but as he was, it must have brought him joy that you came to see him.

    Wishing you and your family strength to deal with the inevitable sorrow, and hoping that you do feel some peace in your grandpa’s peaceful passing.

  • Saple

    May 20, 2011 at 5:43 am

    I am so glad you had those moments with your grandfather, the loss of a loved one is so hard that any moment you can hold onto is comfort. May he continue to laugh and love in your memory, your heart and from up above.

  • TJ

    May 20, 2011 at 5:48 am

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my grandpa just days before this last Christmas. It is very hard. It sounds like your grandpa was a good man. I’m glad you got to visit him. The world seems a bit dimmer when we lose a good person. I guess it is up to those they leave behind to brighten it again. Wishing you peace in the coming days and months.

  • Dawn

    May 20, 2011 at 5:52 am

    I am so sorry for the loss of your Grandpa, and your words here over the past couple of days have been both beautiful and heartbreaking. So glad that the visit with him yesterday was cathartic and gave you some closure, as that will mean so much in the years to come. Much love for you and your family. xoxo

  • MintTea

    May 20, 2011 at 6:01 am

    I’m so glad you had a chance to say goodbye like that, with him awake and interacting with you. I’m so sorry for your loss and my thoughts are with you and yours.

  • Alexandra

    May 20, 2011 at 6:34 am

    Brenda – Thank you for sharing this with us. I am so glad you were able to see him before he passed, what a good reminder to all of us that sometimes we have to push through something uncomfortable to get a greater reward. I teared up at the mention that he said your daughter’s name out loud–how lovely. I am so very sorry for your loss. -Alexandra

  • Sarah

    May 20, 2011 at 6:44 am

    I’m a new reader, so I don’t really ‘know’ you that well yet, but you have a wonderful way with words. I’m sorry for your loss, you have touched me with your posts about your Grandpa. I wish you strength and courage in the days ahead.

    Now I’m gonna go write my Grandpa a long letter.

    Best to you!

  • Christina in MO

    May 20, 2011 at 7:08 am

    Thank you for sharing your Grandpa with all of us. There isn’t much more I can add that others haven’t already said. Please know I will keep you all in my prayers.

  • noe

    May 20, 2011 at 7:19 am

    I’m really sorry Brenda about your grandpa. May you and your family find strength and courage at this time.
    Thinking of you and your family.

  • bethany

    May 20, 2011 at 7:53 am

    so sorry, big hugs, and yes the worst is over in many ways. tears aren’t, but the waiting is and that’s the hardest part. so glad you got a last lucid visit in! so very glad.