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Goodbye Texas
I left Texas with tears in my eyes. I still tear up just thinking about it. Texas was just what I needed when I was going through a terrible time. I feel like I’ve left a part of my heart behind but I’m stronger now than I was when I went so I think Texas did what it was supposed to do for me. Thank you Texas. I’ll always be thinking of you.
I don’t want to share too much here on this blog but I went to Texas because I needed some time to figure out what was going on with my life. Toby and I have been going through some rough times (years, really) and I’ve finally come to the conclusion that Bug and I need to move out for a bit. It was not an easy decision to come to. I feel like I’m ripping up my family and that rips up my heart. I love Toby dearly and I loved our little life by the beach but until we work out some big issues, I need space. I’m taking Bug to the beach weekly to spend time with her dad but mostly we’ll be away.
I’m temporarily moving out to the sticks next door to my mom, into my grandpa’s old place. Rent is cheap and family is nearby so it seems like the right thing to do. Sometimes I wonder though. My grandpa’s place needs a lot of work and I’m buried up to my eyeballs trying to make it a home. You all know my struggles I’ve had with my family and the sticks so I’m sure you can imagine what I’m going through. There is so much I love out here and there is so much that I hate. It’s bittersweet.
Sometimes I just want to give up and cry but then the sun rises, lighting up the bright desert sky with streaks of white and gold over the big mountains and I have hope. I meant to take a picture this morning but by the time I had grabbed my camera (I got distracted as usual), the beauty had faded. I’ll be out here for a while though so maybe one of these mornings I’ll catch it. The desert is a beautiful place. It can be desolate but it’s also beautiful. I just hope I can scratch out a living here. If you’re the praying kind maybe you could pray for us.
Next week Bug and I will be flying out to Washington DC for a month to help Bethany in case she has her baby early. I’m in charge of setting up the baby’s room and possibly painting a room or two—which will be great for keeping my spirits up. And of course Bug will be playing with her best friend Annalie so I think that will be good for her too. It will be like we’re putting our stressful life on pause for a month, which is nice but of course life will still be here waiting for us when we get back. So pray for us. Toby too.
I’m reluctantly closing the comments on this post because I don’t want to open up a public forum for people to pick apart my marriage and all the mistakes Toby and I have made but if you want to email me that is fine. I hope you understand.
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there’s always time for painting
No matter where you are or what you’re going through, there’s always time for pottery painting. That’s my motto.
OMSH took us to a little pottery-painting studio about an hour away from her town. It was quaint and cute and totally worth the drive.
Even Pink Kitty came. She goes everywhere Bug goes these days which might explain why she’s looking a little worse for wear. That poor cat.
The other day Bug was off doing something in OMSH’s master bathroom. She loves that bathroom because it’s big, it has lots of mirrors and it has a pretty pink rug on the floor. A perfect princess bathroom by Bug standards. Anyway, Bug kept calling for me to bring her a towel and I was a bit annoyed with her because I was working on my computer in the schoolroom, and why oh why would she need a bath towel? She wasn’t taking a bath.
“But I’m giving Pink Kitty a bath!” she hollered at me.
“You’re what?!!”
First of all she knows she’s not supposed to give Pink Kitty a bath because we’ve been through this before and real baths for stuffed cats equal crunchy stuffed cats later. Second of all I didn’t hear the water running. This was not going to be good.
“I’m giving Pink Kitty a bath with my spit!” she finally clarified. Duh.
Spit might have something to do with why Pink Kitty isn’t as fluffy as she used to be. Good thing she is machine washable is all I can say. Ew!
So anyway painting was super fun. Pretty much anything is fun with the OMSHes. They are their own entertainment. The kids have all kinds of inside jokes and they break out into song every time anyone says anything remotely near a lyric of a pop song. I am never that fun. Bug is going to be bored out of her socks when we have to go home. Good thing we have a trip to Washington D.C. planned right after this!
Maybe the kids get their entertaining sense of humor from their mom.
Comedy aside, I had a really good time painting. I’m happiest when I’m creating. This is a mug I painted with a little squeeze bottle with a needle tip on the end. They’re called mosquito writers, I think. I’ve never used them before and found them pretty challenging, but they’re way better than a fat ugly paintbrush which was my only other choice since I left my special fine-tip brushes at home. I hate it when I do that. But I loved using these mosquito writers. The line is a little wobbly but I kinda like it. The painting is of the OMSH family. I can’t wait to see what it looks like when it gets fired.
I also painted this little raincoat girl. I painted this one first and accidentally used a thicker-tipped squeeze bottle so the line is a lot thicker. But I still like it. I’m going to put it in my shop when it’s fired if anyone wants to buy it.
Bug painted a pink plate with flowers on it, of course. I should have taken pictures of it but I didn’t. Sorry.
OMSH painted a coffee mug that says, “Suck It Up,” which I thought was pretty funny, since it’s a COFFEE MUG! Hahahaha! I think the OMSHes are rubbing off on me.
And then we yeehawed all the way home.
