She’ll Be One Hellacious Teenager Someday
I remember when Bug was really really little and she’d show some sign of being willful or naughty, I’d smile. I had this terrible superstitious fear, deep down, that she was too perfect and that meant she was like an angel and would probably be taken from me. Isn’t that how the stories always go?
I don’t know why I felt like that. Maybe it’s rooted in the time my Guess Jeans that I loved so much got stolen out of my locker during gym. I know the value of a child and jeans are not really the same but I always feel this way about things that I love so much. Sometimes I don’t even want to put my laptop in my car because I’m afraid that I’ll get in a wreck and I’ll lose Bug, my laptop and my car all in one fell swoop. It’s ridiculous to be me inside my loopy brain.
Sometimes when I look at Bug and find myself getting lost in her big beautiful eyes, her blonde cascading hair and her perfectly little bouncing crazy body, it’s too much for me. How did I ever get so lucky to have her? I don’t deserve her! I expected so much less and God gave me so much.
But then the other foot falls and I realize God knew exactly what he was doing. He gave me the most stubborn, evil, drama-queen, devil-child who will eternally exasperate me beyond words. She might look sweet but try forcing her to eat a bite of perfectly delicious strawberry yogurt (that she picked out at the grocery store herself!) and it will turn into an hour-long, snotty, crying, freight train of emotions that can only be saved from complete and utter bloody ruin by eating a bowl of hot buttered noodles in the tub.
I’m so tired. How will I ever make it to her teens?
20 Comments
Leta
I’m not sure what else to say, except I know exactly how you feel. Loopy brain and all.
a chris
Can’t offer intelligent advice since I’m a couple of years behind you. I wish I could give a useful suggestion for finding a relaxed mode of being when Bug starts to stoke up her freight train. Hang in there!
I’m off to eat my supper in the tub. Well, I would be if I could get away with it.
Sonja
Motherhood messes with us. All I can say is hang in there.
silver
My 3-year-old is like that, too. I comment to my husband that if he’s this bad now, how much worse will he be as a teenager. My husband says that maybe the problem with teenagers is that they’re acting like preschoolers.
Camels & Chocolate
Wow, when did her hair get so long???
anne
Yep, we have those days. Breaking into tears at the most ridiculous things. And then I decide to die on a hill over the dumbest arguments. YES! You WILL eat this last bite! Let’s just hold on to the beautiful eyes and the sweet kisses, shall we?
Melissa
You wait and see.. you absolutely WILL make it! She is a gorgeous little girl!
Becca
It gets easier, on some things and at least for a little bit. Sounds similar to what I when through with Carus. Carus has a big stubborn streak, but logic and reasoning have prevailed most arguements/tantrums the past few years. The teen years – I’m afraid will be a return to her toddler, preschool age tantrums again. But then maybe she’ll surprise me. Maybe…
Kelly in Iowa
I keep telling myself “just a phase, just a phase” then along comes a new phase to deal with. I was wondering what was the blog you had listed under I spy with my litlle eye last week about birthday party ideas. I enjoyed looking at it and forgot to write it down.
SAJ says: It’s here!
Jenni
I must sadly agree with Becca….My 15 year old’s tantrums remind me of what she did when she was 2 or 3. She just too big to stick in a crib and wait out the wailing to fall asleep. Although there are these absolutely beautiful moments when I get a glimpse of the woman she is trying to become and these I hold tight to. Also I praise her like crazy when she does the right thing:) In this world of yuck I am happy to say that I only have to deal with tantrums and not the lists of poison she could be doing…Awww…Parenting the hardest job I ever wanted so badly:)
nicole i
ah, i have a feisty one too. today there was great drama over high top chucks and early in the week great maddening frustration (on my part) as dels willful argued about e minor and e major chords. ack. Lord help us both.
Tabitha (From Single to Married)
I just wanted to comment to say that I think things like that too – like something is soooo good that I can’t possibly deserve it or that I won’t have it for long. Isn’t that strange? I consider myself a religious person too, and I know that’s not how things work, but I still think that sometimes. Glad to see I’m not the only one…
gingermog
This post actually made me cry a bit. I think I a little bit how you feel. i worry i wouldn’t be a good enough Mummy.
Janna
This made me laugh out loud because I feel the same way about your ENTIRE post. My brain is loopy too! Our little 9 month old is exhibiting signs of strong will and I am curious (and afraid) of whats in store.
Snicker…hot buttered noodles in the tub…
auntie keren
Sometimes God lets us feel our great incompetence so that we don’t stop trying, struggling, persevering, so we don’t ‘rest on our oars’, so to speak. Sometimes He wants us to learn something about ourselves (and our reactions) in the moment. But mostly, He wants us to depend on Him, to remember that we “…can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” and that dependence on Him to do the work that He promised to do, and to believe that all things are working together for our good. It’s scary to step aside, recognizing you cannot be super-mom, but that is the very best place to be.
BeachMama
I feel your pain and now, as an almost 40 year old, I feel so badly for all that me and my Sisters put my Mom through. She had four of us spanning 16 years, it was rough and I can’t believe she made it through. But, if I come out the other side shining as much as my Mom I will be forever grateful.
jaynette
And when they are teen-agers they can go grocery shopping with you and before you get into the house she has put most of the groceries away…without being asked to.
Kim
Wow. I could have written that entire post myself about my four-year old. Very relieved to know I’m not alone – that I’m not the only one with the loopy brain and that in a few years, I won’t be the only one longing for the tantrums over yogurt when faced with those of a teenager (eee gads, if I survive that far!!!!!). I have major anxiety over the idea of a teenager because I can already see my personality in her and well, YIKES!!!! And my goodness, Bug’s hair has gotten LONG!!! It’s gorgeous!!
Lisa
Wow, she is beautiful and so grown up looking! I can totally relate to your feelings. I have a 2 1/2 year old that is adorable and spunky and a total drama queen and when her eyes sparkle at me I feel like I’m the most blessed person in the world. BUT, when that same child uses her wits against me and WILL NOT GIVE IN, I’m ready to give her away. :)
Clover
Amen! Don’t feel I can add much to what you said, but… Amen! :-)