Family Matters,  Life Lessons,  spilling my guts,  the meeting,  Tis the Season

My Easter Post

ker--

I have to come clean about something and I really hate to do it. Not because I’m afraid of you readers judging me but because I’m afraid it will make waves in my family and I really don’t want to cause anyone to hurt any more. I’ve put the subject off for more than a year. There has sort of been a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy amongst my relatives and that seemed to be going along great but it never felt that great to me. I’ve never been one to lead a dual lifestyle so let the sun shine on my path so all can see…and judge, if they will.

You see, I’ve been going to a Lutheran church for about a year now. Not every Sunday but probably at least two Sundays a month, sometimes less, sometimes more. I’ve been going just long enough that I’m getting familiar with people and they miss me when I’m not there. It’s starting to feel like home.

stopping mid-hunt for a snack

It’s funny that I chose to go to a Lutheran church as it is very very different from the way I was raised. How can I explain the differences without writing a novel? I think the easiest way is to imagine comparing Quakers to the Catholic church. An ocean of difference…yet still just Christians.

I chose to go to a Lutheran church out of respect for the way Toby was raised. Toby doesn’t go to church anymore but he has a lot of sentimental feelings about where his little girl goes and I understand that. I feel that way too. So Bug and I go to both places. I take her to meeting (where I was raised) when I’m visiting my mom and I take her to the Lutheran church when I am home.

Easter Helmet ON!

It really is true that the best way to convert someone is by example. Nobody ever tried to convert me to Lutheranism (and I’d hardly say I’m converted…yet). I just looked at the people in my life who seemed to have peace with their spirituality and started asking questions. Toby’s stepmom is Lutheran. Also, Bethany is Lutheran. I never really made a decision to go one way or another but I just keep ending up here and it seems like God has something to do with it. (That’s a loaded sentence. I could write a whole post about that but I need to keep this from getting too long.)

I do need to make it clear that I’m not breaking bread (taking communion) at either place. I don’t even know how to really explain that without boring everyone to death. I think the deciding factor for me is that the meeting is more exclusive about who they break bread with and they would have me choose one over the other. So I choose neither. Which is sad but that’s where I’m at.

yummy!

When I first started going to the Lutheran church it felt completely wrong and backwards. I cried my way through services because it just didn’t feel right. I didn’t feel comfortable going where I was raised either and yet I felt like a lost stranger going to this new church where they chant and read their prayers off a paper with their eyes open. With their eyes open! It was so weird. So…so Catholic! Which is not a bad thing per se but when you’ve been raised as Protestant as they come, it can seem all sorts of wrong. It felt too formal and distant from the way I learned to pray to Jesus, as if he were my friend sitting right next to me.

But Jesus was still sitting right next to me. He never left me.

Easter-ish lilly

So I talked about my awkwardness with the Lutheran style—of chanting and standing and sitting and drinking out of golden cups and wearing different colors on certain days etc etc—to Toby and Bethany and I’m starting to understand it. I understand the madness behind their methods anyway. I may not ever feel like this is where I belong but the truths are still the same truths. Lutherans just like more structure. And after living through a particularly bloody division of people in the meeting, I can appreciate a little structure.

What I’m really trying to get at with this post is that I’m starting to feel loved at this new church. The people there are so quirky. I love Lutherans with their stuffiness on one hand and their open-minded acceptance on the other. Like the joke goes, Lutherans are the only ones who sing “Stand up, stand up for Jesus!” while they are sitting down.

They’re very good at making fun of themselves too and I like that. They’re a little bit legal but a lot bit accepting. They never make me feel bad for what I’m doing or not doing but the pastor can pound home a sermon that makes me cringe in guilt. He’s not shy about the touchy subjects and I appreciate that.

mmmmmm!

This last Sunday was Easter Sunday which is a really big deal in the calendar for many Christians. The meeting celebrates Christ being risen from the dead every Sunday so it’s never really been about a particular day in Spring for me. I’ve never been to an Easter Sunday service before so this Sunday was a bit interesting to say the least.

I’m so glad I went to the Good Friday service on the Friday before though. Celebrating Easter isn’t all about rejoicing and pretty flowers, though it is about that too. It’s also about Jesus being crucified and the pain and suffering He went through on the cross leading up to his resurrection. Jesus was a real person. The crosses were wood and they stuck big giant nails in His wrists and feet. When the pain got too bad from hanging from His wrists, He would have to stand up on His legs pushing against the nails that held his feet. The pain was real. And yet that pain was nothing compared to the punishment that God rained down on him to cover all of our transgressions so that we could be free and join Him someday in Heaven. The Good Friday service was about that. It started in candlelight and ended in darkness that seemed fitting for the solemn remembrance.

It was strange to leave the building in silence and not stop for coffee and cookies in the kitchen afterwards. That’s what we usually do. Bug was completely mystified by it because usually the socializing part of church is her favorite part. But I’m glad she’s being exposed to this. I want this to be normal for her someday. It may not ever feel completely normal to me but it will to her. That’s why I keep going.

On Sunday it was fun to see the church decorated in lilies and listen to the choir sing special songs that they’d been working on for weeks. The choir is a small smattering of members. They don’t give you the chills when they sing like the fancy church across town but I like them. They really try.

The pastor tried to get the congregation excited about the singing. He told us we could sing loud and clap and even make animal noises if we wanted to. Anything was good as long as it was a joyful noise, he said. But when the choir did their best to really get into a fast-paced song, all the congregation managed to do was stand and sway from front to back. They didn’t even clap when it said to clap in the lyrics. I found it hilarious.

But you know what? I felt at home in their awkward swaying. Maybe they didn’t really get into the music like some churches do with loud amens and hallelujahs and that’s okay. I think it’s a cultural difference. Some people really like to feel their music, others are more quiet. They were there because they wanted to be there. And I was happy to be there too. I may have shed a tear or two.

fake uggs at church

I was especially happy to be in church on this Sunday because I really needed a place to be and just pray. Bug was entertained by the singing and pretty music and I could close my eyes and pray. Watching my fellow mommy-bloggers mourn over the loss of Maddie and Thalon this last weekend has been gut-wrenching. Babies die every day, I know. But these babies belonged to mothers who wrote about them on the internet. It could have been me. It could have been Bug! I’ve never identified with a mother losing her baby as much as I did this weekend. Maybe I’ve been off in my own lala-land ignoring the harsh realities of life. Maybe I needed a wake-up call. Life is so short.

So that is part of why I’m coming clean here today. I wanted to talk about the silly fluffy parts of Easter where we had a nice dinner and an egg hunt and how cute Bug’s dress was…but I felt bad glossing over the more meaningful parts of this Easter. This Easter was hard on so many people. Personally, I found a lot of comfort going to church with the motley bunch of Lutherans I’ve recently begun to love. I hope and pray that all the other mothers out there have people to take them in like I’ve been taken in.

my little princess

I’m floundering around like everyone else. I’m probably making a million mistakes. But it isn’t about me. No matter what way I go, thinking I’m doing the right thing, I’m sure I’m not. I’m just starting to realize that no matter where I am, Jesus will still be there. Sometimes it’s almost funny. He probably laughs at me.

If you want to comment, please be kind. I don’t usually moderate comments but I will on this post to protect my family.

63 Comments

  • Colleen

    Dear Brenda,

    Thank you for posting this! I was raised Catholic and while we were never really practicing per se, I did receive all the sacraments etc. However when I attend mass I feel like I don’t belong there. I’m searching for a place where I can feel comfortable, where I feel like I fit, its such a struggle, such a journey. I’m so happy for you that you found that place! With all the tragedy happening right now I am doubting my faith altogether. It’s just not a good place to be and hopefully I won’t be there for long. All the best.

  • erika

    What a great post. My posts keep getting smaller and smaller because I’m glossing over a lot lately I guess. I’m glad you pushed the button and put this out there. I’m happy that you are feeling things out and sharing that with us.

  • Annika

    Thank you. I know that what you are talking about is really your feelings on going from one church to another (essentially), but for me it’s an amazing glimpse into what faith and religion are like–and never having been very religious at all, that is a real treasure for me.

  • Ana D.

    Thank you for this post and the reminder that JESUS is Lord, who died for us in the cross to forgive our sins and I do pray and hope too that many other moms out there would come to meet the comfort of His loving hands… hugs!

  • Mrs. G

    I think your post was beautiful and very well written. You did a wonderful job with sharing what you believe… I am ashamed to say I only talked about the fluffy stuff this Easter…

  • TUWABVB

    I really, really appreciated this post. Thank you! I was raised Catholic and my husband was raised Baptist and we’re trying to find a “middle groun” where we can both meet and be happy – we’ve been debating Lutheranism (?).

    I’d never be able to tell my mom, however – if she had any idea I was attending anythign other than Catholic mass, she would flip out. I hate that part – we’re trying to build a religion as a family and while I will desperately miss Catholic mass, I want to attend something as a family – not just me going to one place and him going to another. Sigh.

  • Rosey

    I usually just lurk here because I think Bug is adorable and you are so creative, but I don’t have anything witty or insightful to add. Today I had to delurk to say thanks for a great post.

    I’m going through something similar – my husband and I were both raised as Christians, but in very different denominations. There are parts of his religion that I like, and there are parts of mine that I like, but I can’t seem to find a middle ground. I don’t feel like I belong at either right now, and I’m scared I’ll never fit in anywhere. You give me hope that maybe there’s a motley bunch of people out there that I’ll eventually find and grow to love. Thanks.

  • Jen

    oh, thank you for this post. I was raised a swaying-but-not-singing Lutheran and now attend what my in-laws call a Rock Concert Church, but I don’t sing. I still just stand and sway at best. I’ve always felt awkward not loving to sing. I miss the Lutheran church. I really do.

  • Jen

    I meant to add… also… that I love the juxtaposition of the “fluffy stuff” in your pictures – the cute bug dress, the eggs, the basket… and your text. Love it. Made me smile. =)

  • Heather Burgoyne

    I love what your doing for your daughter! Without Jesus in my life, I would be empty and im so glad Bug will have that too. We enjoy watching her grow and Im very glad that she has such a wonderful mother!

  • Nicole

    I just wanted to tell you that I think you expressed yourself wonderfully in this post. I’ve gone through a similar thing in that my husband is Baptist (Non-Southern), I was raised what I call non-denominational on the West Coast, and we are now attending a Southern Baptist church in the South. Its been shall we say “interesting.” But we go there because the people have welcomed us with open arms and love us, not because we necessarily agree on everything. I think your post touched on the most important thing, and that is that, we all believe Jesus is Lord, and died for us. The rules and regulations don’t matter nearly as much, as that statement, it is that statement that unites us

  • bethany actually

    TUWABVB – That’s funny, because my dad was raised Catholic, my mom was raised Southern Baptist, and when they got married and had kids, they decided to go to a Lutheran church! :-) My dad’s mom wasn’t happy about it at first, but 30 years down the road she’s changed and knows that we’re all Christians and she’s just happy we’re going to church.

    Also, if you think you’d miss Catholic Mass then you should definitely seek out a Lutheran or Episcopalian congregation that does traditional liturgical services. :-)

  • leslie

    i was raised as a catholic, started to really practice it at around 18, studying catholic theology and raising my children catholic……

    i totally understand the “feeling of home”, because i was searching for it for a long time…..i finally found it in my “own” religion, which i think is a gift. it’s so good to have a place where you can pray, grow your faith, rest your heart. and i think it’s very, very important to show your children a way to find a relationship with god.

    and i love bug’s dress!:)

  • Angella

    I am so glad you wrote this, Brenda. You know that I believe in the same Jesus as you do, and he doesn’t care if you are Lutheran, Catholic, or whatnot.

    He just wants to hang out with you. ANYWHERE.

  • The Bug

    I was raised Southern Baptist, and when I joined the Episcopal church about 10 years ago I wrote a letter of explanation to my grandmother – it felt like a huge tectonic shift for me. But I’m a pretty liberal person & when we moved to Ohio from NC I decided to find a place where people believed more like me about social issues. I LOVE my church – I’m the Junior Warden now. It helps a lot that both the Rector (a woman) and the music director are former Baptists – I would miss the music a lot otherwise.

    I had friends who were Southern Baptist (her) & Catholic (him) & this is the church they chose as a compromise. It worked!

  • beck

    Thanks SAJ. I didn’t go to meeting this Easter either even though it might have been more convenient. I commented to my aunt that even though I’m familiar (boy am I familiar) with the meeting, in many ways I now feel more at home in “church.” Familiar doesn’t necessarily equal comfortable. But yet there are times a Little Flock song/melody will grab me unexpectedly and memories flood into my head and I feel like falling down and sobbing because when you grow up in it it’s such an unshakable PART of you. And like you said, I’m sad Val will miss out on all those awesome parts. All this to say thank you for this post and the next time I’m in your neck of the woods we simply MUST connect. MUST. I would love to discuss this with you further. =)

  • Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com

    I had to read up and link to your other, older website(s) to figure out what the meeting was.

    After that, the only thing I can possibly say is supportive. I am glad that you found a place that makes you happy, somewhere that you can have a fellowship with G-d and that you feel comfortable bringing your daughter. I am sure that your family, no matter how much they may struggle with your religious differences, loves to see you happy too.

  • citystreams

    Bug’s Easter dress is so cute Brenda! She is growing into a breathtakingly beautiful girl. Reading the last part of this post made me want to give you a hug. You should read Jen’s post today over at http://heymrswilson.net/ because I think it ties in a lot to what you’re saying. We tend to devalue ourselves when others criticize us. But you’re doing a fine job. Don’t beat yourself up!

    Speaking of beating oneself up. I believe that I am the biggest slacker for not putting your feature up yet. I’ve been meaning to freshen up my site before I posted another one and just haven’t had time. (I finally bought a real domain name. Fancy schmancy. And the tech stuff is KILLING me. In a good way.) I haven’t forgotten though! :o)

  • BeachMama

    Great post Brenda.

    My heart is still breaking for these families who have lost their precious babies. One of my biggest fears. It was hard enough for me to get over my many miscarriages and keep my faith, I don’t know how I would fare in their instances.

    One good note is that baby Stellan (www.mycharmingkids.net) who was very, very sick has pulled through and I believe the power of Prayer really came through for him. And this little miracle is what keeps me believing.

  • Melissa

    Beautiful post Brenda. I too have felt that same “awkwardness” and guilt for walking away from what I was raised as when I first left the Catholic Church and joining a new one. I never will understand why we can’t just be Christians first, denomination second. Anyways, I think your statement “But Jesus was still sitting right next to me. He never left me.” sums it all up nicely. Thanks for the reminder!

  • kim

    so sweet. you reminded me that i used to cry at my catholic services. i dont know much about luthern but it sounds a lot like catholic. im just glad you’re a part of it. you’re making sense of it which is a hard thing to do. i remember feeling connecting and then not, knowing you may not be at all times. i am proud to say now, when the world around me seems not to be :(, i feel the most connected right now. it feels right. thanks for sharing. :) thanks for bringing the reason of easter into it too. breath of fresh air really. sorry for those babies. :(

  • Kate

    Hi Brenda,

    I don’t really buy into the whole Christian thing myself, but having read your blog for a few years now I feel like we would like each other if we ever met in real life, and I’m really happy that you’ve found a place that is starting to feel like your spiritual home. Hopefully those people who do know you and love you in real life can be equally happy for your fortune.

    Kate from NorCal

  • Abby

    I think I understand a small part of what you’re saying. I feel much more at home at a typical “contemporary” church, or whatever you want to call it, but I will probably end up staying in meeting for the rest of my life. I’m not sure when or how much to sacrifice to be comfortable and at home “in church.” It’s a difficult thing to figure out, and I don’t even have a family to bring into the equation!

  • Jennifer

    First I want to say that I think that Bug is absolutely BEAUTIFUL in that picture with the basket on her head.

    Religion, ho hum. It’s nice to hear your take on religion and how you have gotten to where you are. It sounds like you’ve found a very good fit and it will be something wonderful for Bug to grow up with.

    My dad was raised Protestant going to the Nazarene Church. My mom was raised Catholic. They raised my brother and I Protestant in the Nazarene church. My dad’s family is extremely devout. My mom’s family not so much. The importance of going to church seemed to fade in my family by the time I was in my late teens.

    In my early 20’s I worked at a Catholic private school and the religion intimidated me greatly. I was the secretary, the principal was a nun. I learned so much from her. She was a strong, gruff woman who didn’t put up with “nonsense” from anybody. Nobody ever knew her sense of humor or her sweet nature in private. She put up such a front to the public. Sometimes I feel like that is what it is like to be Catholic – a public side and a private side. It all confuses me.

    Now I don’t practice anything. The idea of going to church seems like a chore. I hate to write that, but if we’re being honest I must. I worry about not guiding my children with the religion I’ve known, but I will feel like a fraud until I believe in something to share with them.

  • pinky

    I think when he is old enough, I am going to take my little guy to services. I know my husband probably won’t go, but I think it will make me feel a little more at home in myself. I’m glad you are feeling that way with Bug. I never appreciated Sunday school or services on holidays with my parents, but naturally as I’ve grown older I’ve missed that sense of community and home that I found there. I hope I can create some of that with my own little one.

  • (another) bethany

    thank you so much, and do i ever relate. still feeling awash with not-sureism as to where/who to fellowship with. still feeling burned and not wanting to belong to a group at all, but just fellowship anywhere. i know what it feels like to sit next to your parents at meeting and not break bread. and watch mom wipe her eyes. and like Beck said getting that feeling when you hear a little flock hymn sung and it brings up such a huge well of memories and things that are part of who you are. SO glad you’re feeling at home, and that you came clean ;). A relief I imagine! I suspect I’ll never be completely un-conflicted about it, at least as far as family is concerned, but so be it. Jesus is everywhere, and alongside, and that’s what matters.
    Oh, and yes, Bug is more than gorgeous in those shots! Beautiful weaving of photos and thoughts. Hugs.

  • cc

    Shawn and I both feel the same way you do.

    I don’t know if we’ll ever break bread anywhere else or if we’ll return to the Meeting. But then again, making waves seems to be what we do.

  • Katherine

    I cannot really get into the details of why this post had such an impact on me, but I do want to share that it has left me in tears. It was exactly what I needed to read at this exact moment. Thank you for being brave enough to share this despite your reservations. I check in on your blog about once a week or so, but I felt especially drawn to check it tonight. I have been praying about a particular issue in my life, and in desperation I asked today that I get some sort of clarity about it. I think God was leading me to this post tonight and to your words. Thank you! (I am willing to share more via email if you need to know more. Otherwise, just know that you have totally blessed me today!)

    On a less egocentric note, I am so glad you had a such a nice Easter!

  • Mrs. Wilson

    It IS true that Jesus will be wherever you are! It’s not about WHERE you go to worship Him, it’s just about worshiping Him. You and Him. That’s the simple truth. It’s about faith, a relationship with Jesus Christ – not religion. I think you’ve got it right :)

    I really loved this post. And I really love Bug’s dress – totally beautiful.

  • Shanna

    hi there! i’ve been lurking for a while now but wanted to chime in and say thanks for this post! i’m all teary! i was raised as a soutern baptist but never really felt like i fit in. “my” church was more interested in what you were wearing and “oh my gosh! is that a hispanic person!”…they didn’t take kindly to anyone new. i resented the fact that i couldn’t go to a church and worship comfortably so i stopped going. i attempted to attend a Lutheran church with my Dad but couldn’t get over how formal it was and how different it is from the Baptist church. back in january i was visiting my hubby’s family in california and we went to their calvary chapel church. i still couldn’t get past that they would say “amen!” and “yes Lord” whenever they felt like it and actually held their hands up when they felt moved by the Spirit (something that would never be attempted in a southern baptist church!) but i felt comfortable! i sang along with the music, enjoyed and learned emensely from the sermon and shed a few tears. the Lord walks with you as long as He’s in your heart, no matter what church pew you’re sitting in.

  • Keri

    Mrs. Wilson I believe has it right. If you are a Christian, it doesn’t matter how or where you worship. You should go where it feels right for you. I was raised Lutheran – baptized, confirmed, Lutheran school, ect. But as I have gotten older, and started a family of my own, I couldn’t find a Lutheran church that really filled me. So now I am going to a Bible church (Marsh Hill in Grand Rapids MI – Rob Bell is awesome!) and I really feel at home there. I need a little less hymns and more contemporary music… I look forward to going to church and starts my week off on a good note. It is nice to hear that you have found a place you like to worship.

  • ThePhantomMoon

    Thank you for posting your story, Brenda. My husband’s mother semi raised him and his brothers under Jehovah’s Witness teachings and while he never fully converted to their teachings and ways, he still I think considerings himself a JW.

    I was raised a Catholic and I’ve been struggling lately where the best place would be worship as a family. My mother would flip if she thought I was considering anything BUT being Catholic, but I’m trying to listen to God and make the best decision for my family.

    Again, thanks as always for sharing and God bless you and your family!

  • Sam

    I. LOVE. THIS. POST! Thank you for being so honest.

    Finding a new community of believers is really hard, and I believe it’s terribly important. This is not a solo sport, this Christianity – we’re called to be in community and to help each other along the way. I’m in the midst of it, having left my beloved (perfect, in my mind, even with its flaws) church home since we moved. I totally understand feeling like a duck out of water in a new place – I remember the first time I went to a Methodist church, I was actively uncomfortable. It felt wrong. It didn’t feel like what I knew as “church”. Ten years later, it’s home to me, and I love the structure and rhythms of the church year. I was looking for something with history, where education was valued in its ministers, where I could ask questions and still be welcome. You are spot on – what really matters, is that wherever you are, Jesus is right there with you.

  • Tamara

    There has never been only ONE universal truth when it comes to religion- and I applaud you for exploring different faiths(?) and ways of worship in your search to find YOUR religious truths.
    Well done SAJ

  • Mysh

    Thank you for posting your feelings about this. I think you’ve really got it…it’s not so much about the where or the how…it’s all about the Who = Jesus!

  • kristine

    Such a well written post. I attend church as a child. But as a teen & adult, it has been only for funerals & weddings. When my daughter was born, I hoped I would find my way back, to church. She’s 5 now & I have yet to take her. my parents have & she gets a small amount @ her pre-K. She is very curious , it is time. When I read ” It may not ever feel completly normal to me, but it will to her”. really touched me, thank you.

  • Carrie

    Thanks for posting this Brenda. I know that’s a hard transition to make, and feeling like you have to hide it doesn’t make it any easier. I was raised Mormon and am now Episcopalian. I felt like I was betraying my family, but it just wasn’t right for me. The first time I went to the Episcopal church I felt so drawn to it, but I cried through the services for months because I felt like I just didn’t belong anywhere. It’s such a huge change, like learning a whole new language. It was a long time before I felt ready to take communion, and I don’t take it at the Mormon church when I visit my parents. I hope your family can accept this. It is obvious that you are trying to be a good Christian, regardless of where you are on Sunday mornings and that should be what really matters.

  • Kristen

    Julie HU- Fantastic comment, simply worded and so spot-on. It explains why I know that my church (shout-out to the Methodists! [hee]) is the place for me.

  • Stephanie

    Thanks so much for sharing this :) I could relate very well to a lot of what you said.
    I was raised in a church that was like a second family. And so that’s what church was and always would be about for me. Jesus as my friend, confidante, protector, saviour.. whatever I needed Him to be, He always was!
    For my husband, church = religion = a dividing force in this world rather than a uniting one.
    IF we ever have kids, I’m afraid this might be a big point of contention. I would want my kids to experience a church family. But he is adamant that they not be exposed to just one point of view. He’d want them to learn about and visit a Christian church, and a Hindu ashram, and a Buddhist temple, etc etc etc.. But he’s talking academics. I’m talking community.
    I know I’m veering off of the main topic of your post a bit, but just wanted to let you know that I appreciate your honesty and openness in this matter. I too often (ok, usually.. almost always) avoid talking about spiritual matters on my blog because.. well, it’s just easier that way!
    Similar to the saying ‘home is where your heart is’ – if the Lord is in your heart and pouring out through your words, thoughts, and deeds, then the place you choose to worship on a Sunday seems a pretty minor detail.
    (Wow – this comment is a bit all over the place.. Sorry! :-P)

  • Gramma

    From what I’ve read from your post, and what the comments have been, it is obvious that HONESTY is the key factor. I am saddened, but is it with selfish sadness. I just don’t want you to leave. Here are some verses that have sustained and supported me throughout my life here in this scene:

    In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths.
    Proverbs 3:6

    …no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation.
    II Peter 1:20

    Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
    1 Timothy 2:15

    …I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures, and that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures. 1 Corinthians 15:3-4

    On Sunday mornings when the bread is broken, it acknowledges the WHOLE BODY of Christ, His bride. I do believe that there may be some who are at the Lord’s table, because of family pressure., They really don’t understand the meaning of being gathered to His Name.

    What someone else thinks, whether it be friends or family is not important. You are being honest with yourself and not pretending. My hope now is that, as a family, Toby will go to his church with you and Helena.

  • mamalang

    My mom church shopped when I was growing up, so I had a broad base to use when it came time for my husband and I to choose. We sort of fell into our Lutheran church, but it worked for us. He was raised Catholic, and one of the chaplins in his unit likened it to “Catholic lite.” His mom was upset that we weren’t raising the kids in the Catholic church, but she likes our church and is happy we are at least involved in one.

    I think now a days a lot of people pick a church based on how they fit/feel with the congregation, not by what “religion” it is. I’ve attended a church that believed all other denominations were wrong, and I wasn’t happy there. I believe that we all have the chance, we just have to believe and do our best to follow his guidance.

    Thank you for sharing. It struck me as a little funny when I read that you (and Bethany) are Lutheran. I knew that this was a part of your lives, but what religion someone is just never crosses my mind. But it makes me wonder what other things we have in common.

  • Carl V.

    “I’m just starting to realize that no matter where I am, Jesus will still be there. Sometimes it’s almost funny. He probably laughs at me.”

    You could not be more correct, although I’m sure He is laughing with you, not at you. Kudos to you for having the courage to share your thoughts and feelings about this issue. Opening up about religion or politics on a blog certainly opens up the potential for all kinds of heated conversation and yet you approached this in a very open and honest way that really made my heart feel good to read it. Thanks.

  • lala

    I think you are so right, it’s not really about what denomination you go to, it’s about where you feel you belong, cuz He is all about family!

    great post!

  • nicole

    Because the Lord said He would never leave you nor forsake you , He is with wherever you are or whatever church pew you are sitting in. I wish we lived closer to discuss this topic further since we come from the same church background and such. Be still.

  • Alaskalark

    Beautiful post and I love the image of Jesus just sitting right next to you even, maybe especially, when you sat in the pew and cried. I am so glad you have found a place of joy and peace and belonging. Also, Gramma sounds sweet and supportive. Anyway, my own church sang ‘New Soul’ by Yael Naim on Easter and your post made me think of the words. Maybe it’s apropos.

    I’m a new soul
    I came to this strange world
    Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take.
    But since I came here,
    Felt the joy and the fear
    Finding myself making every possible mistake

    la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la…

    I’m a young soul
    In this very strange world
    Hoping I could learn a bit bout what is true and fake
    But why all this hate?
    Try to communicate
    Finding trust and love is not always easy to make

    la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la…

  • Kate

    Very well written Brenda. And I wholeheartedly second the suggestion to “Go where you are fed.” It’s not about you and a church; it’s about you and God.

    Kudos to you. I’m even prouder now to say I follow you.