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Day Seven
Once upon a time there was a blogger who fell asleep while putting her baby/toddler to bed. Maybe she should not be laying down to help her toddler to sleep, you say? And maybe you are right but nonetheless this is what this blogger does because she likes to spend quiet moments with her toddler and she is always tired all the live long day.
Every night she falls asleep with her toddler and then she wakes with a fright at 10:45 because the cat yowled or something and she jumps up and freaks out because she has yet to write a stupid dumb nablowpomo-gumbo-shoe-blow-a-go-go post. She thinks it is 11:45 because of course she has not yet fixed her clock to reflect the time change that has taken place so she is sorely afraid she has failed the great stupid dumb nablowpomo-gumbo-shoe-blow-a-go-go contest she has so stupidly joined.
So she rushes out to her computer and groggily types up some kind of pathetic dribble that nobody wants to read and vows that she will never ever join such a silly contest again because, really, what is the point? Nobody wants to read this sort of crap.
The end.
But then she remembers the silly iced tea story she wanted to tell but decides she is way too tired to write it properly and decides to tease her readers with it instead. Which they are surely tired of, since she teases them all the time with posts that she never gets around to writing. But let me just say that it is very funny and it involves a purse and the contents of a purse and good old fashioned bad luck.
At the stroke of 11:29, the poor blogger is attacked by the bad punctuation monster and dies a horribly bloody death. BUT yet, just before she gasps her last strangled breath, she reaches over and hits publish and up goes her post onto the world wide internet. By sheer luck and bad taste she has posted and not broken the great stupid dumb nablowpomo-gumbo-shoe-blow-a-go-go spell. Which by the way, is not stupid or dumb or blowing for all those other prolific and wonderful writerly bloggers. They are quite brilliant, in fact.
The end, the end!
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Day Six: Nothing Exciting Day
What! These shoes again? I know. I’m bored of them too. I already have about eighty-seven pictures of them. Yawn, snore. Whatever. I’m out in the sticks for a few days and I only packed two pairs, so these are the shoes I’m stuck with. Also, they are comfortable and keep my feet warm so I have to amuse myself (and you) by finding new and unusual ways to take pictures of them.
Other than taking a picture of my feet against the sky, today has been kind of like my shoes. Boring. Boring is good when you’re a mom. I got a lot of freelance work done while my parents baby-sat Baby Bug. That was really nice. My client is going to wonder why she got eight files from me today when she usually gets about one a month. She is so patient with me. She should have fired me ages ago.
This could sort of be a segue into why I love Adobe Illustrator but my brain is tired from the boring non-taxing day. So I’m going to opt out tonight, if you don’t mind. From what I’ve been hearing, you need more time to read all those other prolific nablopomo bloggers anyway. Long live the short post!
I almost forgot! I do have some exciting news. We got our new kitchen floor installed (that’s why I’m in the sticks, to avoid the construction) and it is UGLY! I’ll take pictures when I get back but from what I hear from Toby they are parquet squares that look like a dance floor. Dark wood, fake, ugly… the whole bit. They make our cabinets look ugly, they make our ugly carpet look uglier… I guess they are just downright awful. Toby is very picky about these things and does tend to be oversensitive to colors etc. but on this one, I believe him. Our landlady has a remarkable ability to choose building materials that make a reasonably cute apartment look like trailer trash.
SO! You say, this is bad news! This is horrible! What are you going to do? Set up a smoke machine and a deejay at the breakfast bar? Two turntables and a microphone… Wouldn’t that be cool? Doesn’t everyone want a dance floor in their kitchen?
Maybe not. Toby hates the floor so much he is actually considering letting me “shop” for new flooring for the kitchen and the living room and we will finally, after all these years of loathing, GET RID OF THE CARPET FROM HELL!!!! This is not for sure but it has been mentioned by Toby, who is the boss of these things.
And that, my friend, is enough to put a skip in my step for at least a week.
