Motherhood is so glamorous.
A while back when I was at a wedding, filling up Baby Bug’s sippy cup at the punch bowl, there was this young strapping man waiting for me. He chuckled when he saw me awkwardly trying to ladle in some fizzy pink punch into a small plastic cup with purple handles on both sides. In the old days, I’d probably try to think of something clever and flirtatious to say. But the sippy cup kinda ruined that so I said instead, “Motherhood is so glamorous.” He laughed.
Ever since, I’ve been saying that to everyone who catches me in the middle of the trenches of motherhood. It’s my new motto. I grin and think it to myself as I heft up giant ziplock bags of laundry up and down my stairs.
At the laundromat there is a dry cleaners next door and in the front window there is a tailer who sits there all day sewing. He watches me every time, grinning at Baby Bug. I know I must amuse him as I pile laundry bags on top of Baby Bug’s head while she’s in the stroller and then I maneuver the whole top heavy mess in and out of the laundromat with one hand while the other hand opens the door and catches flying pacifiers. I’m getting very good at this circus operation.
When things go wrong, like they always do, I just chalk it up as another practice round. Practice makes perfect. Every time we go out to lunch in a restaurant and I find that I’ve forgotten some important item like a bib or the handy dandy little table top cover, I just tell myself I’m in training. Some days the daily grind reminds me a bit of training for a marathon. It’s hard but you feel good that you’re doing it.
One of these days I’ll be a lean mean mommy machine.
17 Comments
Kuky
Like your new motto. :-D
stephanie
I hear ya! I feel like I’ve yet to have two days in a row hitting on all cylinders since my son was born almost 9 months ago. I’m wondering if I’ll ever get back to the “efficient” me or if I just will finally acquiesce to my new life…
Bokker
I’m not a mother but I use the same phrase about working in television. Every time we’re dragging heavy camera bags through knee-deep mud, eating crappy pizza in a motorway service station at 11pm, or standing in the pouring raining begging passers-by to talk on camera, I announce: “TV is just so glamorous”. It helps to ease the pain.
ps Delurking!
BeachMama
What a perfect motto. I wish I had known it way back when people would try to jump in and help me, thinking I didn’t have it all together, when really they were upsetting my balance. Then all of a sudden one day it all clicks and you are no longer juggling things, you are just doing them and with style, so much so that nobody offers help anymore :).
OMSH
I think your motto needs to be “In training to be a lean mean mommy machine.”
That is Grrrreat (to steal from Tony the Tiger).
AMEN to this post!
I gave up on those grocery cart covers, table covers, and Clorox disinfectant wipes everywhere. No really, I did. I’m chalking it up to building up resistance to germs in my children, but in truth – IT IS JUST TOO MUCH.
We give up a lot of things in early mommyhood – like purses. I just started carrying a purse again 6 months ago. Up until that time it was a backpack for all the diapers, the sippy cups, the baby wipes and ‘blankie’ (thank God – that could cause total melt down if I forgot the BLANKIE) and a wallet.
I’d have a baby in a bjorn on my front and a backpack on my back.
Call me camel.
It DOES get easier.
One day they are pushed into the laundry-mat in the stroller and you turn around and they are trudging in behind you holding a hamper.
Of course then they are back-talking and explaining why it is so UNFAIR that you won’t let them sleepover at their friend’s house on a school night. EVERYONE IS DOING IT!
Angella
That’s my mantra too. But if this is glamorous, what does the not-so-slamorous look like? :)
little miss mel
What a pleasant way to say you are up to your eyeballs in mommy crap.
Heidi
I think you should design some t-shirts with your mommy motto. I’d buy one…and proudly wear it as I fumble around with a toddler, an infant, and all their gear in tow. I’d probably be sporting some sort of spill (or spit-up) on my shoulder too.
Seriously though…it would make a great tee.
josephine
I was thinking the same thing…. coming soon to a cafepress store near you!
The Chatty Housewife
I have drooled over those huge Ziplock bags for quite a while now. Oh the organizing I could do with a couple boxes of those!
Bethany
I think you should incorporate your current masthead design in the t-shirts. :-)
The funny thing is that motherhood makes us feel discombobulated and ineffcient, but really, the opposite is true. Think about how many more balls we juggle when we have a baby, a toddler, kids in school, and all our own stuff–jobs, housework, husband, hobbies–that we deal with every day. No one, but NO ONE, can multi-task like a mom!
Erica
I really like your writing style. You have a fresh voice, and your child is adorable. Have you ever considered writing about something other than her? And how she affects your life? I think you’d be great at it.
Jennifer
I would buy one of those T-Shirts in a hearbeat! I’ve been doing the mothering gig for almost 5 years now. It’s VERY glamorous, hahaha. I’m still working on the lean mean mommy machine image :)
Valerie
I usually say that when there’s boogers on my shirt. I think rather than trying to remember everything and trying to be super prepared, I have gotten to the point where I only take a diaper and some wipes. Messy? I do laundry all the stinkin’ time anyway, what’s some spilled food on a shirt? You’ve got it all together already, you rock.
Valerie
Oh, I love the new masthead too. I would love a shirt with that image and slogan on it. Riley is rockin’ the pinkkkkity shirt a lot.
LVGurl
It’s amazing how these miniature people create so much more laundry!
Look how Baby Bug is growing up! She’s starting to look like a little kid!
otter
Judging by the pictures of that wonderful curious beautiful little girl, I’d say you are doing a great job.