The Mystery of the Traveling Pants

Here I am just starting the first days of my third trimester. Woo Hoo! I’m almost there. I’ve managed to wear some of my non-pregnancy clothes all the way up until now. Woo Hoo #2, I’m not as fat as I could be. Or maybe some of my non-pregnancy clothes are pretty big and forgiving. Like for example my most favorite black walking pants. They are the best. They’re cut in such a way that they swish at the bottom when I walk. And they have a draw string. So they are never too tight and they always look flattering, as far as exercise clothes go.

But lately the draw string just isn’t working for me. I tie it at my belly button, which is roughly the circumference of a beach ball these days, and then two or three steps later my pants fall down below my belly. Not a good look for me since I haven’t really been tanning and it’s kinda chilly out when I go walking in the morning. So it’s like this: Walk, walk, walk, slip! Stop, retie. Walk, walk, walk, slip! It’s kind of annoying. Then I try method number two: I hold my pants up while I walk. That’s also annoying as I like to keep my hands free for talking on the phone with my mom (yes, I’m one of those kind of walkers–but hey, I have a great relationship with my mom) or taking pictures (for you internet, for you!). It’s just not working for me. By the end of my walk I get a little warm and I can take my sweatshirt off and tie it around my waist as a super bulky belt. That works. But it doesn’t work soon enough.

So I went to Target and I bought some new el cheapo black walking pants. They’re nice and big. They have a waste band that comes up to my chin that folds over. This seems to be a common design feature in maternity clothes. I haven’t really come to appreciate it yet. It seems a little bulky and I can never decide if I want to pull it up and tuck it under my bra or roll it down and give myself extra bulk around my middle. I shouldn’t complain, it’s nice to have choices. But even though they are nice, they’re just not my old walking pants. They’re bulky and they’re actually kind of too big. They weren’t too big when I tried them on in the dressing room but they are now.

Maternity clothes are a trip. I usually wear mediums in pants but I think I need to wear smalls. They just feel slouchy and they fall down after a while. They don’t fall down and show my belly but they get baggy in the crotch and I end up walking on the hems. Half way through my walk I want to pull out a safety pin or a belt and cinch them up. I tried to shrink them in the dryer but that didn’t work at all. I think they might have even gotten bigger. What kind of lycra gets looser when you dry them in a super hot laundromat dryer?

When I take them off, they look so humongous. Embarrassingly humongous. I can just imagine Toby grabbing them for me for my trip to the hospital and the thoughts that would go through his head as he holds them up and sees that he could easily pitch a tent with them if he had to. Or maybe it’s just Target sizes. I’m very flattered that they think I’m “small”. But I just don’t think I should go for a small. I think they would be small in places I don’t want them to be small. So for now I’m stuck. Maybe I’ll just grow into them. I do have three more months of growing afterall.

Three more months to go! Woo Hoo!