Wine, women and fast cars… oh the life of a pregnant photographer!

Ha! It’s such a joke that I keep getting hired for these photographer jobs. I’ve got the people skills, I’ve got the connections and I have the equipment (thanks to being married to a pro) and I can even frame a decent shot…but I just don’t have the brains! I am the worst camera geek ever! I shot this whole event on the wrong shutter speed.

Everything is blurry and awful*. I should have just switched to auto mode and shot it like a dummy. I would have been better off. Toby is hanging his head in shame. Thankfully, I wasn’t the only photographer there and most of my shots will just be small little blurbs in society magazines BUT STILL!!! I am a disgrace to the industry! Good thing they don’t pay me that much.

The irony is that I thought it was my best job yet. I schmoozed with the models. I got right in there and snapped at the big wigs. I was brave. I wrote down names. People smiled at me as the flash popped. I thought maybe maybe maybe I should think about doing this full time. The pictures looked great on the back of my lcd screen. But oh, was I wrong.

When I got home, and Toby and I reviewed the 100 some pictures I took, it was time for a big lesson in photography. Like photography 101 for dummies. Poor Toby. The stuff I don’t get is what he learned when he was ten years old!!! No matter how many times he tries to drill in the difference between AV and TV and all the fractions in between, my brain just turns to mush. I don’t understand why I’m wired so completely illogically when it comes to mechanical equipment. Toby had to practically break it down into flash cards for me to understand the simplest concepts.

Yet I can work a room (people wise) in circles around him. I think that’s why I keep getting hired for these jobs in the first place. I know how to get people to pose for me. I know how to set up a great shot. I just don’t know how to use my camera properly. It’s a cryin’ shame.

*They look mostly okay on the web because the web is low resolution and the images are dithered to make them into an animated gif. In print, however, these shots are going to look like dog doo doo.