This post is rated Y for yuck.

I am on the war path. I have declared war against the little tiny moths in our house.

It started from some bird seed that we bought from our favorite bird store. It had moths and then the moths multiplied and were seen flying around the bird cage. You’d think the birds (that like to eat bugs) would eat the little flitting bugs but no, they ignore them. So, I cleaned the bird cage from top to bottom and threw out all the mothy bird seed. Since then I have put all our new bird seed into the freezer to freeze those little buggers dead. When you buy the seed, the eggs are invisible but sooner or later they turn into disgusting wiggling little grubs and then the dreaded moths. I thought I had eradicated the moth problem. All of our bird food supplies are locked up in super air tight rubbermaid containers and anything moth-eatable goes into the freezer first thing when it comes home from the bird store.

BUT, somehow those nasty little buggers got into my pantry. I didn’t notice them for a long long time because they decided to inhabit my old “Cat’s Pajama’s Cafe” box, which is a little box of coffee flavorings and cinnamon shakers and chocolate sprinkles and things like that from back in the day when we used to have our own espresso maker and I’d set up shop and pretend I was a barrista from Starbucks. Well, the espresso maker broke about a year ago, so I haven’t been making any Cat’s Pajama’s Cafe Coffee drinks. Of course I’m not in the habit of inspecting my cocoa shaker or my cinnamon shaker or my hazelnut and vanilla nut flavorings, so I had no idea what was growing in the dark recesses of my pantry until things had gone very very very wrong.

You can imagine my surprise when I finally cleaned out my entire panty WITH BLEACH and I discovered the moths had completely taken over my coffee making supplies box! The cute little glass shaker that I keep cocoa in was an ant farm of tunnels and little wormy canals. It was so gross, I almost lost my lunch. Into the trash all my supplies went. My mom is going to have a cow when she finds out I threw out perfectly good glassware but there was no way in hell I was going to wash those things. If I had a dishwasher maybe but I don’t have one and that would mean it would be me and the soapy hot water and moth carnage. Ugh. It was all I could do to toss them into the trash, take the trash immediately out to the curb and look the other way. And even then, I was wearing rubber gloves! Oh, where is my Dad the pest control exterminator when I need him?

I cleaned with a vengeance. I was on fire. I reached into the dark crevices of our pantry and cleaned where no man has ever gone before. It was only a task a nesting pregnant lady could endure. But when I was done…Viola! A beautifully clean sparking pantry!!! I catch myself opening the cupboard doors at least once a day just so I can admire my handiwork.

But there ARE STILL MOTHS IN MY HOUSE! I am killing them one by one and they are going to be the end of me. I’ve cleaned out Toby’s snack cabinet (the moths found his secret stash of cashews from Trader Joes… or maybe the moths came from Trader Joes originally, who knows). I’ve dusted and cloroxed and swiffered… I’ve sweated and cried and yelled. But still it’s: here a moth, there a moth, every where a moth moth moth. Toby says that they seem to pop up right after you clean out one of their secret hideaways. I hope that’s why I’m still seeing them but I am out to get them with a blood thirsty vengeance. Forget catching them and politely putting them outdoors. I swat them with my favorite magazines. I squash them with paper towels. I even strain my poor stretching pregnant body to swat them off the ceiling.

Die moths! Die!