Illustration Friday: Envy

This is me green with envy of my former un-pregnant self. Or more accurately, this is me green with pregnancy. I’m really starting to notice the changes. The biggest one being that if I don’t eat something every two hours or so I feel queasy. It’s like how you feel when you start to have motion sickness and the last thing you want to do is eat something, except that’s exactly the only thing that makes the queasiness go away. It’s very annoying. I’m worried that all I do all day is eat and drag myself around the house barely getting anything done. I bet I’ve gained twenty pounds already and I’m not even supposed to gain one. I’m way too scared to step on the scale to check.

Last week I was walking every evening with vigor, now I’m lucky if I can even get my desk organized. This is pathetic. You know what I miss the most? Not coffee but that buzz I used to get from having a big cup of coffee. You couldn’t tie me down and force me to drink coffee now. I am so turned off by it I hate even typing this sentence because I can feel the bile rising just thinking about it. But in the old days when I had this dragging feeling I would just pour myself a big cup o’ joe and watch the creativity flow. That’s what’s really worrying me.

I just don’t feel creative any more. I’m super proud that I managed the feeble illustration above because illustrating just hasn’t been coming to me the way it used to. These last three illustrations I’ve done on this blog are the ONLY illustrations I’ve done since I got back from Paris! Before I’d do two or three a day! I’m starting to worry that this blog is going to turn into a photo blog. Not to mention how it’s going to effect my work. Thankfully, things are slowing down with the clients I have right now and the pressure is off to be super successful because now I can be a professional mom. I’m very spoiled that I even have that option. I don’t know what I would do if I had to go to work every day. Though a boring brain dead desk job does sound appealing right now. I just hope I get my creativity back. I really miss it. I’ve feel like lost my drive or something.

But not to worry, all this is so worth it. I’m really starting to get excited. I baby sat the Things tonight and I was laying on their couch waiting for the parents to get home and all of a sudden I felt this little twitch in my abdomen. I know it’s way to soon to be feeling any kicking but let me tell you, something IS going on down there. Like some major construction of some kind. When I get up from laying down I feel this weird straining feeling like I better take it slow or I might pull a groin muscle. It’s weird. I’m so pregnant, it’s not even funny. And I’m just barely seven weeks. Hooooo Boy!

Another thing that happened recently is that Toby has sort of opened up to the idea of switching offices with me. This is HUGE. I’ve been obsessed with worry about where I’m going to put this baby once it gets here… and more importantly where am I going to keep all the clothes and diapers and things that come along with a baby. As it is right now, my office is occupied by the humoungous bird cage and there is not an inch of room for a crib even if I did want to subject my child to massive bird allergy attacks. The original plan was to just get away with a bassinet in our bedroom for as long as possible but every time a Pottery Barn Kids magazine comes in the mail (which is quite a lot, frankly) I get all sad inside that I have no little white dresser or gigham lined basket to fold my little onesies and keep them nice and clean inside. I’ve found myself actually tearing up over it. Talk about hormones! So the fact that Toby might move into the bird room is a HUGE HUGE HUGE weight off my mind. He’s not too happy about it because my back room is the crap room. It’s small, it’s got termite damage and holes in the wall and it doesn’t have track lighting. But he can fix those things and I think as the date gets nearer and nearer our priorities will change.

I’m just so excited to have a future room for the baby! In fact, the Things have offered to give me their expensive Pottery Barn crib so I’m all set! I know it’s early to start thinking about these things but I seriously have Baby on the Brain disease. I’m not going to go all out and paint a mural or anything because we really do plan to move in the next few years but at least I have some place I can keep clean and quiet. In my mind it’s almost like a sanctuary of sorts. It’s not going to happen for a good long while because this switching of offices will disrupt Toby’s entire way of doing business but it’s out there. There IS a solution to the problem. He’ll probably want to wait until I’m fatter than a hippo and I can’t even bend over to pick things up but that’s okay. It’s better than the alternative that I thought I’d have to settle on. I was starting to think maybe I could make a bedroom out of our hallway! I was desperate. So I should be able to stop worrying about where I’m going to put my onesies for at least a month or so.