• BIG news,  Moody Blues,  Slow Living,  The Desert,  the sticks

    There’s a free calendar at the end of this post.

    hemet-sunrises

    I don’t even know where to start with this post. Everyone asks me how I’m doing, and I make up some bullshit story about “healing in the desert” because it sounds good. But I’m here because I have nowhere else to go. I couldn’t cut it in the OC anymore, and since Bug moved out, it just didn’t make sense for me to deplete my retirement by paying rent on an apartment I couldn’t afford. So I packed up and moved home to my parents. It was a huge relief to give up finally. I’d been fighting it for what seemed like forever. I was hustling every side job I could find, borrowing from Peter to pay Paul, borrowing from friends, knowing I’d never be able to pay them back…I was getting rejection letters every day from jobs I’d applied to months before. It was hopeless.

    My mental health has taken a blow, but there is a little bit of truth to my bullshit story about healing in the desert. I feel the sun out here. It gives me hope. I am solar-powered, and every time I feel the sun on my face, I breathe in and out more easily.

    the-last-move-please

    When I lived in Costa Mesa, it was foggy every day.  I was close to the ocean but not close enough to walk. The ocean came to me in a big bank of fog. My apartment was dark. I know it looks bright in photos, but it isn’t. I tried to make it pretty and appreciate the ducks and the trees in the neighborhood… but when it was too cold to sit outside, I felt like I was living in a cave. The low popcorn ceiling, the few windows on only one side, and the cloudy days blended into a dark mood that wouldn’t lift.

    calibration

    Coming here has been a breath of fresh air. I feel so lucky that my parents live in the prettiest part of an otherwise depressed town. They are on the outskirts of Hemet in the low hills. The horizon is vast. As far as I can see, I see rocks and hills and shrubbery, and the skies go on forever. There isn’t any fog. Just dry, cold air. It’s the high desert; right now, it’s very dry and chilly. But I grew up here, so it’s sentimental. I am a desert child.

    deck-for-one

    Every morning, I wake up super early and watch the sunrise. I’d go for walks, but the coyotes are kind of creepy out here, so Cody and I stay close to home until it gets light. I was sitting in the vines of dead raspberry bushes in a raised garden, but my dad built me a little platform. I love being around my dad because he’s super handy and has every tool you can imagine. I can’t wait until summer when we have a thriving garden.

    just-when-i-think-I-got-this

    But right after I got here, my parents left for Texas to take care of my brother, who had hip surgery. He had some complications and is in some pain, so they are staying with him until he heals a bit and gets settled. I miss my parents. I feel like I’ve been out here alone for months, even though it’s only been a few weeks.

    power-out

    The power went out for three days to make things even more challenging. I’m not mad about it, though, because SCE is taking all precautions so that the high winds don’t knock down wires and start fires. Where my parents live in a high-risk fire area. When I see the devastation in Los Angeles as I scroll through Instagram, I am thankful for all these precautions.  I miss my dad, though. Trying to find my way around in the dark was scary, as was figuring out how to turn the generator on and hook up the refrigerator so the food inside didn’t go bad. Afterward, I felt like such a survivor. But the dark did get old quickly. There isn’t much worth doing when the sun sets at 5:30, so I’d go to bed and sleep. Then I’d be up super early and start all over again.

    survival

    I cooked my food on the gas stove (thank the Lord my parents have gas!), read books, and one day drove to the library to do some work.

    powers-on

    Then, magically, on day three, the power turned back on! It was so amazing and wonderful. I think I felt like how people think crawdads are the most delicious food they’ve ever tasted when they’ve been starving for weeks. Crawdads are not delicious. Well, not to me, anyway. LED lights in the kitchen aren’t impressive either until you’ve bumped around in the dark for three days. Then they are the best invention ever!

    hemet-sunrises-sunsets

    The winds are still whipping around, so I brace myself for another outage. Until then, I’m typing out a blog post and dropping a calendar for you to proof!

    starting-over-in-hemet

    This is just for you, Cathy: a free calendar. Please proofread it and let me know if there are any errors.

     

    ***UPDATE TO ADD NEW CORRECTED CALENDAR***

    I am planning on taking this blog down this year. I’m in the process of copying and pasting it into a digital document for Bug and her cousins so that it will be up for a while. I’ve got twenty-plus years of content to copy and paste. Maybe I’ll want to keep going by the end of it, but I’m ready for a change. Secret Agent Josephine has lived her days. Thank you for reading all these years. I’ll keep you posted on Instagram.

    xo

  • 15 minute posts,  Bug,  heavy on photos,  rando bits,  The Flower Business,  Tis the Season

    Bam! OctoberNovemberDecember…

    beach-with-lena

    How does it go? August takes forever; September is a terribly hot, August part two, and then bam! OctoberNovemberDecember go by in a flash? The flash has started and here I sit, again, wishing I had used my time more wisely back in August.  Will I ever learn?

    snowline-1

    Bug and I have finally figured out how to do our weekly mother-daughter dates without biting each other’s heads off. It’s been really sweet hanging out with her again. We had a beach day, and then, this last Friday, we went to Oak Glen and got apple cider doughnuts at Snowline with my parents. It almost felt like old times when we didn’t worry about the world coming to an end.

    halloween-with-bean

    Speaking about not worrying and returning to a time of happy memories, I spent Halloween with my great niece and did all the great Antie things. I am the greatest aunt after all. It felt just like old times with Bug and before that, Rapunzel. These are the things that make seasons go round.

    momo-inktober

    I tried to do Inktober but fizzled out on day nine; that’s worse than usual for me.

    october-resolutions

    I’m trying to make October resolutions instead of New Year’s resolutions, but they are going just as badly as New Year’s resolutions. I get going for about three days, all gung-ho and motivated, and then my inner rebel takes over, and I revolt and stay in bed. Then I try again. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Be gentle on yourself, I say. But gentle doesn’t seem to get me very far. I even stuck a note to my pantry (where I sometimes keep the carbs) that says, “Forgive yourself,” thinking maybe reverse psychology would work on me. It doesn’t work. I’m too smart for myself. Do you know what does work? Not shopping for food. Empty pantries are excellent appetite suppressants. When the best thing you have to snack on is lettuce or an apple, that’s a win! It’s a good thing I’m the only one around to be grumpy at.

    lizards

    I went to Las Vegas for a weekend in October. I visited my best friend, Bethany and we talked about snake shed art. She’s working on a fantastic art piece for Chinese New Year that I’m very excited about. I will make sure to put the deets here when they are available.

    henderson

    And you know how I love a desert sunrise…

    matt-visit-10-2024

    Matt visited and we stayed in San Diego which was something new and exciting. I love a hotel with a view…

    udell-rehearsal

    Flowers, flowers, flowers! Fall is a very good time for Rasta Rita Flowers and weddings.

    bailey-wedding

    This wedding was so pretty and fun. I love it when brides seek me out for my style instead of my price.

    picnic-flowers

    That’s all for now.  :)