At last! The Sludgies are officially done. Don’t mind the fact that I had to hire my Aunt, the professional seamstress, to get them done. It was well worth the expense. Firstly, because she is a professional and she did SUCH a better job than I ever could and secondly, because they are dah-dun-dah-dun-dun-DONE. I would have never ever gotten them done. I can barely comb my hair regularly these days.

They are so cute! I’m totally in love with my little Sludgie character. He’s almost worth all the pain and sickness and surgery I had to go through. He’s almost worth the deadly stinky farts I now suffer from. Yeah, you guys didn’t tell me about that. Who says you don’t need a gallbladder. You do! Gallbladders regulate the smelliness. Oh. My. Goodness. Is there anybody out there who knows what I’m talking about? I practically kill my own self when I fart these days. What is up with that! Ugh.

But it’s all okay. I’d take smelly farts any day over weeks and weeks of puking. The weight loss side effect was kind of nice but the PAIN, I’ll never ever go through that again. I’m not even afraid of morning sickness if I ever get pregnant with kid number two. If I can make it through three weeks of puking and writhing on the floor, I can handle a little nausea.

And now we have to distribute the lovely Sludgies! Are any of you contest winners still reading? I’m going to have to track you down. Below is a list. If you see you’re name, please email me your snail mail address and I’ll ship out your very special “Sludgie the Evicted Gallbladder” package. (No, I won’t sell your info to any junk mail companies. I promise.) Please feel free to take him out of the package and hang him on your Christmas tree (or nose) this winter. That’s why he has a little ribbon loop. And if you do, please send me a picture. It will make my poor gallbladder-less body happy. If anybody doesn’t want their Sludgie, let me know. I have a few nieces who think they NEEEEEED a Sludgie. I think they need more stuffed things like a hole in the head but whatever.

1. Pam
2. Lola
3. Jennifer
4. Bethany*
5. Kelly
6. Lin*
7. Nicole
8. Wendy
9. Andrea
10. Paula
11. Emily
12. Beck’s Mom*
13. Kate*
14. Jd
15. C
16. Lexi
17. Lyndsay
18. Ellen
19. Marissa
20. Mama Knucker Hatch
21. Beach Mama*
22. MamaBear
23. Gretchen
24. Jora
25. Lauren*

*=I have your address already. Strike-thru means I’ve tracked you down, not that you’re not getting one. Unless of course you said you didn’t want yours.

I’m working on a little something something for those of you who participated in my “help-me-entertain-my-baby-while-I-die-of-gallbladder-pain” contest. I thought it might be fun to make gallbladder pillows/Christmas ornaments as a prize. Doesn’t everyone want to hang a little green gallbladder with googlie eyes on their Christmas tree? At least those of us in the no-gallbladder club will appreciate it since we’ve evicted our own gallbladders (Thanks to my friend Kate for that reference.  She called me up pretending to be my gallbladder contesting her eviction.)

My problem is that there are too many of you who had good ideas that I actually used. Measuring spoons in a box! Junk mail! Toys all over the floor! I used them all. I wanted to make all 31 of the participants a gallbladder pillow but it took me TWO hours to make just this one. Mostly because I was sewing it at my Aunt’s shop and I spent most of the time yapping. But what else is new? I love hanging out with my Aunt in her sewing shop.

Yesterday I was super anxious the whole time because I left Baby Bug at her Aunt Becky’s house and I kept imagining her crying because she missed me. I’m sure in reality she was fine and didn’t miss me a bit because she loves her Auntie Becky but trying to get that through my thick skull is impossible. Because I was such a worry wart and I had to get back to Becky’s so she could play taxi and pick up her own kids from school, I only had time to sew one gallbladder pillow. The pinking around the edges took a lot more effort than I planned on (the felt is wool and quite resistant to cutting). So I hope everybody who participated is patient (and likes Sludgie the Gallbladder) because it might take me a while. OR I might just think up a different prize.

*Stuffed toy not recommended for children under three. Unless you are like me with an eagle eye watching your little kid because it is possible for little babies to pry off the glued on eyeballs with their wiggly little fingers and eat them.

Today is a good day. The baby is asleep, I’m sipping freshly brewed coffee AND I’m wearing my old skinny jeans. The really old ones. Like almost before I started wearing low rise jeans. Well not that old. I’ll never go back to waisted tapered leg jeans again.

With my body type it’s best if I stick to low rise flare leg style forever. I don’t even care if my daughter is embarrassed of me when she gets old enough to know better. I’m sorry, but I look terrible in tapered legged jeans. They are so unflattering to my ample sized butt and speed skater thighs. I’ll go right along with every other 80’s revival trend but peg leg jeans will never touch my womanly shape again. Not unless I grow another gallbladder.

We’ll see how long this skinny jean wearing lasts. Hopefully longer than Baby Bug’s nap. Gotta run, I hear somebody waking up!