You guys all know my neighbor, Boo, right? She’s popped up a time or two on this blog. She’s a super cute girl who lives across the street from us. I love her. Anyway, she turned ten and her mom (my friend Wendy) threw her this fabulous circus-themed birthday party. It was awesome.

I may be a tiny bit biased because there was FACE PAINTING!!!

Done by ME!! I know. You’re rolling your eyes because I have to brag about every little thing but seriously, I have wanted to be a face painter since forever. I have gone to carnival after carnival and paid the five dollars or one dollar to watch some mediocre painter paint some kind of blob on my daughter’s face and call it a butterfly. I have been holding myself back from grabbing the paintbrush right out of their hands and taking over on the spot. You don’t know the willpower that requires! It was painful!

Bethany bought me this kit (I added my own paintbrushes) probably a year ago but I haven’t had the chance to break out until now. I didn’t even get a chance to practice. But guess what? I didn’t need to! It was totally easy and kids are such great sports about things. They were thrilled with everything and if a bit ran or looked funny, mistakes wipe right off with a baby wipe. It was the most pleasant experience ever. I’m going to hire myself out starting tomorrow. Need a face-painter? Call me up. I’m serious. How much do face-painters charge these days anyway?

So right. This party was about Boo, not me face painting. I hope she loved her party because it was super sweet.

Her mom (that’s Wendy on the right) is the best game-inventer ever. I might need to tap into her talent and start a company or something. Too bad we both have plans to move out of town next year.

There was hot potato.

Musical chairs.

Freeze Dance.

You might wonder why Bug is dressed up as a lion. She was part of the show. She was the ferocious lion that Wendy (the lion tamer) led out on a (necklace) chain. You should have seen Wendy play-acting that the lion was growling and giving her a terrible fight in the bathroom before she brought her out. Then this little pip squeak in a tutu came out and everyone rolled on the floor laughing. Bug ate up all that attention of course.

There were a ton of other games too, all carnival style but due to privacy issues and some funky bright lighting, I didn’t get any photos of those. She had tic-tac-toe toss games and a spider toss game that Boo made up herself. It was so cute. You had to throw a spider onto a giant web and if you got it in the middle you won. And of course there were prizes.

Fun photo ops.

Cupcakes with circus-animal cookies!

And random break-dancing.

And of course a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday complete with whistles.

It’s great to turn ten. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BOO!

Sometimes when a craft works out really well, you just gotta do it again and again. In fact, I think I’m going to make this a tradition for us.

It’s just fun and CHEAP! All you need are some cardboard boxes (which I have plenty thanks to a super fun backyard Angry Birds game—hope you didn’t want that guitar box back Carrien), paint, maybe a box-cutter and some box-cutting skillz.

Cut them out, paint them, let them dry and you are set for Halloween.

Put them in your window and let the creepiness take over.

This one really gets me. I keep thinking it’s a real cat out of the corner of my eye. That’s Bug’s handiwork. I guess she knows how to draw cats pretty well.

The cool thing is: as it gets darker and darker they just get cooler and cooler.

And creepier and creepier…wooooooOOOOOOoooooooooh……

What do you do when you are buried with work, deadlines are falling all around you like giant redwoods in a timber harvest, you have guests coming in from out of town and you decided to have a great big fiesta on Saturday with lots and lots of friends? Do you knuckle down and get your work done so you’ll have plenty of time to clean your house and get ready for the party before your guests arrive OR do you walk around your house and dream up some impossible last-minute DIY home-improvement projects? The latter of course!

Because you wouldn’t want your guests to see the bathroom floor looking like this:

The horror! Actually, it looked much worse than that. The paint had come up in spots and it was soooo dirty. Muddy kid bathing, running-over sinks (that’s another story) and dogs with hair and claws do not do well on painted pressed wood (not to be confused with plywood, that would be a step up). It was the floor that could not be mopped. Oh, I tried to mop it. Believe me. But scrubbing seemed to just make it worse. You know you have a problem when you moisten the wood and it just comes up in crumbs in your hand. It was icky.

So I decided to paint the floor! Giant deadlines be damned. (Don’t worry clients, all’s well in the end.) My mom had taken all the girls over to her house for Camp Grandma so I decided to attack the floor with wild blood-shot-eyes of craziness and then get my work done on the side. That’s how we get things done around here.

Oh yeah.

First, I was just going to paint some flowers to distract from the ugliness of the dirty mint green paint. I drew them in with a sharpie and was quite pleased. Then I painted the flowers and leaves and some odd purple paisleys around the toilet area and discovered that the new fresh paint made the old dirty mint green paint look like a hot mess of awfulness. It didn’t detract at all! It pointed instead and screamed, Look! Look! It’s dirty in here! You’re probably going to catch something awful if you walk in here barefoot!

Oh woe is me.

Did I mention that I was using old house paint from a craft project from a long time ago and I didn’t have enough paint to cover the whole floor and definitely not enough for more than one coat? Good thinking, that thar me. But I tried anyway. I tried and tried to skimp out every last scrape of “lemon icing” paint to cover the ugly mint green but there was just NOT enough.

This is about the time I started walking around my house naked doing a one-woman stand-up comedy show all by myself for myself and the dog. I really wish I could have recorded that because I think I am pretty funny. But there was nakedness and blood-shot craziness so no recording was going on.

I did jot down some notes for this post though. I’m such a blogger like that.

Here are my notes:

1. Don’t have a dog, with hair when you are painting your floor. No matter how hard you sweep and wipe up the hair with a wet paper towel, you will miss about 80 thousand of them. That is why they call painting white wash. You are washing the hair with paint. Check your OCD at the back door.

2. Don’t paint with old paint from a past project because you WILL run out and you won’t be able to match it with your home stash of acrylics or the kid poster paint.

3. Do not leave the phone on the counter where you can’t reach it later without stepping in wet paint.

4. Do not forget to paint behind the door. Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

5. Do not paint in your favorite nightgown.

That’s all I wrote down but I’m sure there are about 95 more things not to do when painting your floor. In the end I went to Home Depot, shelled out 88 trillion bucks for a gallon (They don’t sell smaller containers. Gah!) of “lemon icing” matched paint and a gallon of epoxy garage floor paint for cement to put over the top and hopefully make the whole mess more mop-able. I really hope it works and doesn’t peel up my masterpiece when I roll it down Friday morning.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention how drying times had to be factored in. You know how I am so great at math. Ha ha. Imagine me with a calculator and smoke coming out of my ears. It turns out I do have enough time to get it all done before the party on Saturday (when my guests will mostly likely need to use the restroom!!) but it was close. So close in fact that I had to step aside and painfully not paint more detail so that I could give it a whole 24 hours to cure before laying down the garage floor epoxy laminate clear coat, or whatever that stuff is called. It was hard stepping aside. I desperately wanted to add more flourishes and scallops and maybe some tapered dotting but I started stepping in paint in places I couldn’t cover up and I knew it was time to cut my losses.

My original plan was just to paint some flowers as a temporary measure until I could put some groovy old 70′s linoleum down but now I’m kinda liking the flowers. They’re bright, they’re crazy. They make the rest of the bathroom look like an old lady running away from a flower child on acid but I kinda dig it. If this clear coat thing works out, they might stick around for a while.

At least so I can tell this story over and over.