If this were a mom-o-meter fuel gauge, my feet would be on E for empty. I should have composed the shot in such a way that my feet were tilted to the right but I wasn’t thinking of the “E for empty” when I shot this. It was morning and I was chipper and ready for the day.

Sadly, today kicked my butt.

I want to blame it on Baby Bug because she has been particularly challenging today. Let’s see, could it be any of the following?

1. yelling whenever I am talking
2. not eating the healthy food that is put before her
3. throwing the healthy food on the floor
4. the hour-and-a-half battle over what time is “nap time”
5. the endless whining and hanging on the pantry door asking for “trick or treats”
6. the very rough rough-housing that landed me with a thick lip
7. the sudden aversion to having her hair washed

… or all of the above?

I have a feeling it isn’t her. She’s just being a nearly-two-year-old. She reminds me of a kitten. You know how kittens look so cute and you just want to cuddle them up to your face but they are all full of claws and teeth and you end up getting your hand chewed up and covered with scratches? That’s Baby Bug these days. Just too much energy for her little cute body. And definitely too much energy for this tired old hag of a mom.

I think normally I’m pretty good at handling this sort of stuff. I’ve babysat plenty of kids who are way more rambunctious than she is. I think today I’m just sort of running low on fuel in general. I don’t know why or how long I’ll feel like this.

It could be the let down from several days of jam-packed fun. It could be I’m feeling fat and ugly from eating apple pie every day. (Why won’t someone else in this house eat the pie!!!) It could be that I’m sick of taking pictures of my shoes every day. It could be that I’m just bummed that I can’t make my alphabet cards at a price point that I think will make everyone happy. I don’t know. I think I just need to post a downer post. I’ll feel better soon.

I always do.

Here’s a little trick-or-treat Sprite for Illustration Friday. She really wants to be in a series of four cards with all her trick or treat friends but it’s been a busy week so I don’t know if I’ll get around to it. I really miss making graphics just for me.

I’m sort of in a weird place right now. I want to vent about some work frustration. I’d also love to tell the story of my love affair with Adobe Illustrator… but those posts could run long and what I really want are some short posts for a change. Sometimes I even get sick of myself, if you know what I mean?

What do you want to read? I want to hear from you instead. Do you guys ever internalize your stress? I know they say don’t bottle it up but I don’t think I’m in any danger of that. I’m usually on the “too open” side. I guess the definition of maturity is not acting on every single emotion that comes along. How do you do that? What does it feel like when you have paragraphs and paragraphs of things to talk about but you decide to just smile and say everything is fine instead? Does it go away?

Please don’t worry. Things are fine. Nothing horrible or debilitating has happened. I promise. Just work stress. More fun happy stuff coming soon.

I took Bug on a really long walk today at sunset. It was so long, she fell asleep and stayed asleep. I had to carry her upstairs as carefully as I could and she’s still asleep in her clothes. I didn’t have the heart to wake her just to put on her “pajamas”. All her clothes are comfortable anyway so it’s not like it really makes a difference. Thankfully she ate dinner and had a bath before we took our epic walk.

I didn’t intend on taking such a long walk but it has been one of those days. I just couldn’t keep up with her today. So we walked and we walked and we walked. She chattered on and on and I day dreamed about an off switch. But now that she’s asleep, I feel guilty for wanting a break so badly.