I think my wedding was the prettiest wedding ever… even if a million things went wrong. You know what they say, “One thing will always go wrong and nobody will ever notice”. Well, it’s true. And sometimes fifty things will go wrong and still people won’t notice. This is the story behind my wedding and all the little things that went wrong that made it… just right.

Toby and I got married at 9:30 in the morning on a Saturday. September 25th, 1999 to be exact. I wanted to get married on 9.9.99 but the ninth was a Thursday and Thursdays didn’t really work out for anybody’s schedule.

I don’t know what I was thinking making Toby, the world’s most renowned sleeper-in-er, to be at his own wedding any time before noon. Obviously, I wasn’t thinking. I was more concerned about having a beach wedding and not wanting the afternoon wind to pick us up and blow us off the cliff. So morning it was and amazingly Toby made it to the wedding in plenty of time.

I’m sure all my coworkers were grumbling that they had to get their butts out of bed early on a weekend and then when they got there, there wasn’t even going to be any alcohol served. What a buzz kill. But the park we had the wedding at was a state park (only $25! for a permit) and alcohol was not allowed. Not to mention we have a few alcoholics in the family who… well, that’s another blog for another time. Lets just say we were better off without the alcohol for many reasons.

In spite of the was early hour and lack of alcohol, it was a beautiful day for a wedding. IT WAS FOGGY! Not exactly what I dreamed up but it was kind of cool in a misty, mystical I-dream-of-Enya sort of way. I was so paranoid of people getting sunburned that I set out a basket of sunscreen and a stack of straw hats next to the guest book for people to wear. This turned out to be silly and totally overkill but a few people went home with a cute straw hat.

Let’s talk about my hair. My hair was the number one thing that went wrong. Here is my advice to all brides to be: Don’t pay someone to do your hair at 5 am. Just do your own hair. If you must pay someone to do your hair for you, please please please have them do it at least once before your big day. You don’t want to end up with Marge hair like me.

I did go to this hair dresser a couple of times before my wedding. We talked about what I wanted and I think she even played with my hair a little. I had just cut my hair super short earlier that year and we both knew that getting it to look “romantic” was going to be a bit of a challenge. But she seemed confident and “cool” and “hip” so I put my wedding hair in her hands.

Big mistake. First of all getting my hair, my mom’s hair, all my many many many bridesmaids hair done BEFORE a 9:30 am wedding was a huge big job. A job that this hairdresser didn’t really think very much about before she said yes. And I, like the naive idiot that I am thought it would be fine. I love mornings! Doesn’t everyone else too?

No they do not. The hairdresser was so overwhelmed by all the hair she had to style before eight something in the morning, she had bribe an assistant to help her out. The assistant turned out to be way more skilled than she was and did all of our hair in some kind of slicked back crazy spikey 1999 New York fashion run-way style. She was very good… it’s just that I didn’t want crazy spikey 1999 New York hair for my romantic outdoor soft and natural wedding. Everything was wrong.

As if my mile high spiked hair wasn’t bad enough, I fell under the spell of the high fashion New York assistant and I let her plaster on some white under-the-eye shadow and dark red lipstick that made me look like a scary goth girl. I never wear make up. It was all wrong. Thankfully, I came to my senses somewhere between my house and the beach and managed to scrape off three layers of the white stuff before we started taking pictures.

My hair was another story. My friend Kate somehow magically showed up at the hair salon with a little baby fairy wreath of flowers that she made for me without me even asking. She put it over my giant bobby-pinned hair-do and somehow the division of flowers over giant hair made it seem less Margish and more Audrey Hepburn. Kate literally saved the day. Now, when I look back at those pictures I kind of like my hair. I don’t love the one piece of bang that lops over onto my forehead but at least my short hair forced into an up-do is not terribly unflattering.

The next thing that went wrong was the actual ceremony. Hardly anybody knows this story and it is kind of funny actually. Because I was excommunicated from the meeting at the time, I had to find a pastor to marry us that I did not know. We finally ended up using a pastor that we liked from a friend’s wedding. He was very charismatic and told funny jokes. But he also seemed pretty grounded and used verses from the bible that we were familiar with.

We met with him two times before the wedding. He counseled us on how to manage money as a couple and how to work together to solve problems. He was kind and wise and we thought he was going to be the best person to marry us.

We didn’t realize that he had scheduled to speak at a funeral the same day as our wedding and last minute couldn’t make it! Yes. On the day of our wedding we did not have a pastor. Talk about bridezilla freak out attacks. I don’t know what I did. I think I have blocked it out.

I guess pastors have this sort of over-booking problem now and then and they have a network of friends who will stand in for them. So there we were on our wedding day, standing there getting married by someone we had never ever seen before in our lives! But the funny part was that he was also very charismatic and told jokes and stories about us as if he had known us our entire lives. It was actually very creepy.

At one point, the stand-in pastor said Toby had told him something wonderful about me that Toby never even said. People in the audience started tearing up it was all so romantic. What a perfect couple on a perfect day they must have thought. Meanwhile, Toby and I are staring at each other with wide eyes thinking what the…??! I wish I remembered the exact phrasing. I think I have it in a box somewhere. It was a script the pastor read by heart and later gave to us on paper. Maybe someday I’ll find it and post it here.

Those were the two big things that went wrong. The other things that went wrong were not so very terrible. There was the case of ants making a giant trail up the food tables that were amazingly exterminated by my friend the fairy godmother with a big can of Raid before I even showed up. Then there was my mom’s hair and how the hair dresser put some kind of awful mousse in it that made it look dirty and stringy in every single photo.

Let’s not forget how we didn’t do anything that we practiced during the wedding rehearsal the day before. The bridesmaids filed down to the front of the ceremony BEFORE the groomsmen and when the groomsmen finally figured out where they were supposed to be, they all rushed in at the same time looking like guilty hooligans. Of course this bothered me tremendously but not a single person I asked about it afterwards knows what I am talking about.

Then there was the whole credit card fiasco. This is such a typical Brenda story. I lost my wallet the day before my wedding. I was such a scatterbrain. I left it on top of my car at the tailor’s when I was picking up my altered wedding dress and then I drove off leaving it there in the parking lot. When I figured out what I had done, I freaked out and called and cancelled ALL of my credit cards.

This was really stupid since not more than a few hours later some kind stranger found my wallet and called me to return it. What a wonderful turn of events except that I cancelled ALL of my credit cards and by the time I got my wallet back it was too late to get them all turned back on again. Which made it impossible to pay all my vendors (caterer, pastor, Flamenco guitarist, state park, the parking gate…etc etc) on the day of.

It was a nightmare. The caterer took a check thankfully and the rest I ended up paying with cash advances (and going into major overdraft) out of various atm machines.

Lastly, but not least, was my bridezilla moment. I am so not proud of this. I hired a Flamenco guitarist to play during the ceremony and reception lunch. He was wonderful, so very talented with his long long long fingernails strumming away on his beautiful guitar. He also happened to be the same musician that played at the Gypsy Den on my first date with Toby (we went there after our dinner at the Hari Krishna Temple). Everything was perfect. Except his amplifier.

Since our wedding was at the beach there was quite a bit of background noise (ie; surf and wind) the musician had to overcome. In order to play over this background noise he needed an amplifier. But since our wedding was out in the sticks not anywhere near any kind of electrical outlet this amplifier had to be powered by a generator. A very noisy generator that had to be hidden five hills away in order to mask it’s noise.

I’m not really up on my electronics but somehow this amplifier worked with the generator via air waves. Maybe this was like wifi before wifi was invented. I have no clue. All I know is that the connection was not very clear and the pretty Flamenco music kept cutting out like a bad cell phone call.

All I knew was that my music was not working. I had planned too hard and too long for some stupid generator to ruin my perfect day. Before I knew it, I spouted off something really loud in front of everybody about how they better fix it. I completely forgot that I was the center of attention wearing a pretty fairy princess dress and looking so demure. Yelling about generators was not exactly becoming of the fair bride. Good thing nobody was filming that part.

I’m pretty sure there were many many more things that went wrong but this post is already too long as it is. I just want to sum it all up by saying the wedding was perfect. Even though everything went wrong, it all turned out okay and I still remember it as one of the best days of my life.

You’ve probably already heard from the wonders of twitter that the big art show was a whole lotta fun. It was a whirlwind of activity for me. I’m still trying to sort it out into some kind of cohesive story that will capture what it was really like.

It wasn’t huge. It wasn’t some grand debut on the art scene. There weren’t people were asking for my autograph or writing up articles for the scene and be seen magazines… but it was REAL. It was genuine. It was a combination of so many of my friends who really love me and GET me and a bunch of dog people who were besides themselves happy to have a party with art for their dogs. It was a bunch of happy people.

When you get down to it. Isn’t that the kind of party you really want to be at anyway? It was really fun. I think I loved the accordion music the best. It reminded me of walking along the Seine in Paris, licking a passion fruit ice cream cone. Toby said the music jammed his frequencies but for me it was a few hours of being that silly happy Parisian girl again enjoying the wonder of a warm summer night. It was wonderful.

The paintings sold pretty well. Some of my loyal fans rushed in early and swooped up their favorites so I felt all special and stuff. Man, you guys are the BEST and I know my funny paintings will be loved in your homes. The other artists had really great work and if they weren’t so nice and constantly telling me to get over myself, I would have probably had a huge inferiority complex. Thankfully, I did not have any time to whine and worry about such things because it was a busy busy night of talking to all sorts of old friends and new friends, furry and not so furry.

Did you see everybody who came? Lots of bloggers. It was like a little mini so-cal blogher except not just for her. (thinking of you Mr. BlogHim). Some lovely bloggers I didn’t get photos of and I’m kicking myself. And some other lovely bloggers got there while I was busy getting ready in my new magic dress and being fashionably late. Thank you for the champagne mip mup! I’m sad I missed you!

I was a terrible photographer all night because I was so distracted and scatterbrained. I think I talked everybody’s ear off. And if I wasn’t blabbing excitedly, I was exiting with Baby Bug because she needed some one-on-one time with her mom. She was really good most of the night but she did have a few crying jags when people came up to her too quickly or tried to take her away from me. She is such a mama’s girl. But then what do I expect, we hang out together every day all day.

Everybody else took pictures so I’m hoping they email them to me or send me links and I can post them here. I tried to capture the fun of the night but… well I already explained that. I was a little stretched. Toby tried too but he was number-one baby watcher and Baby Bug kept him running from one side of the gallery to the other.

Her cousin SuperChic was there, who is four, and they are best friends. Best friends who like to run around and chase each other. If they weren’t chasing each other they were chasing the many dogs who came as guests. How cute is that? The dogs were very well behaved and my brother even adopted one.

All in all it was a really sweet event.

Kinda like Baby Bug and pupcakes.

***UPDATE***
Kelly uploaded his pictures from the show and two movies!

Phew. I’ve rewritten the lead paragraph to this post so many times I’m sick of it. I’m just going to delete everything and start here: Did you know that I have three strollers now? Somebody shoot me.

1. The Bugaboo

Oh how I love the Bugaboo! It was absolutely perfect as a bassinet stroller when Baby Bug was a teeny baby. I loved how I could wheel it everywhere in my house and she could snooze peacefully. I loved the canopy cover that shaded her from the bright sun. It was wonderful. I loved loved loved it. I think the peace of mind it gave me in those early months alone was enough to justify it’s super expensive cost. I should have skipped the real bassinet and just used the stroller instead.

When Baby Bug got big enough, I LOVED the toddler seat. It’s so fun and funky the way you can switch directions it faces. This way baby looks at you. That way baby can see where she’s going! How great is that? It’s also perfectly comfortable (if you don’t pinch her skin in the seat belt buckle. Ouch!!!) and so easy to push. I love how you can push the Bugaboo with one finger. The wheels just glide any old where you want to go. This has proven exceptionally useful at the laundromat when I’m carrying three over-sized bags of dirty clothes and balancing a bottle of detergent on my head. It’s also proven useful when trying to get in and out of the swinging doors at Starbucks.

Unfortunately, there are some things I don’t love about the bugaboo. First, I don’t love the polar fleece. It’s a giant magnet for cat hair and I can’t be always tape rolling or laundering it. Hello! I’m a mom now. I can’t be consumed by vanity anymore! The cats love to sleep in the stroller, when it’s not in use, and this is a great source of frustration for me. I sometimes wish I had opted for the cheaper gecko model that just has a canvass cover. However the Chameleon does have a nice protective bar that goes in front of Baby Bug that the Gecko does not and I do kinda like that. Was it worth the extra $200? Not sure.

My biggest beef with the bugaboo is how hard it is to carry. It’s pretty easy to take apart and put back together again, but it’s a bit heavy. Not terribly heavy but not light. This is a real problem for me because I live up a flight of stairs. I hate carrying it upstairs. I can either bump it up the stairs all in one piece and risk breaking my neck and the stroller OR I can take it apart in two pieces and heft it up in two trips. Where is the baby during all this hefting? She’s tied up somewhere screaming bloody murder, wondering why her mom abandoned her.

I hate this hassle so much that I often don’t even bother with it. This is such a shame because I paid so much for the thing. I’d definitely use it a lot more if I lived in a one story house with an easy access sidewalk. I think if I lived in Paris it would be perfect. Oh Pareeeeeeeeeee!

The other thing I hate about the bugaboo is that it takes up my ENTIRE trunk. Sure, I have a little car but it’s not like I’m going to go buy a suburban or a mini-van just so I can carry a stroller and my groceries at the same time. I used to just leave the stroller at home or jam all my groceries in the passenger seats. This was a crying shame since my neat nifty little car is a hatch back—perfect for carrying groceries.

All that said, I still love the bugaboo. I love it because it’s sturdy and safe but not huge and clunky like an SUV stroller. Baby Bug can sleep in it. If I’m gone for a whole day trip I can just recline her seat and she can snooze away. I’m such a snob about how a stroller handles. The Bugaboo is the luxury car of strollers. Once you drive one you’ll never want to go back.

2. The Super Jogger © “the stroller for runners”

I love the jogger stroller. You know why? Because it was free. I love it because it’s old and rusty and I can leave it outside in the weather. It’s beat up but completely functional. I love it’s big huge tires that can cruise over sand like a breeze. I love that I can leave the jogger stroller downstairs and nobody steals it because it’s so ugly. I love that it’s always there and I can take it for a quick run to the grocery store or Starbucks or the beach. I can leave it outside on the sidewalk and it’s always there when I come back. Long live the old ratty tatty jogger stroller.

What I don’t love about the jogger stroller is that it’s ratty and… well, big. It doesn’t fold up and it won’t fit in my trunk. I can’t take it on trips. It steers great when you’re going fast but horribly when you’re going slow. You pretty much just have to pick it up and manually make it go at a different angle. It’s super light (great for running) but if you hang anything on the handle bar, it will capsize and dump the baby out the back. This is all fine because it’s a jogger stroller. You’d never want to take it shopping.

If you aren’t lucky enough to be given one, like me, I would recommend the BOB for a jogger stroller. It’s pricey but it’s light and it has all the bells and whistles that I wish mine had. Plus it does fold down small enough to fit in your trunk. I know all this because I’ve coveted whoorl’s.

3. The Maclaren

This is the new stroller. It’s so nifty! I was going to go out and buy a cheap $20 target umbrella stroller but the family I used to babysit said I could have their old Maclaren instead. I’m so glad I waited for the hand-me-down. It’s the nicest lightweight stroller there is! I’ve used my sister-in-law’s old jeep stroller and though it was nice, it had some things I didn’t like. My biggest problem with the Jeep stroller was that it didn’t have any shoulder straps and I NEED shoulder straps. I don’t know about the rest of the babies in the world but my baby likes to lean forward as far as she can and stick her tongue in the wheel spokes. She’s a squirrely little one. She must be strapped in.

I think that sums it up for me and my post about strollers.