Deep thoughts from the lid of a sour cream container…
November 5th, 2009
I’ve been thinking about friendship lately. I was peeling open a container of sour cream the other day and it had one of those cliché sayings on it like, “Never let a small disagreement ruin a great friendship.” I’ve heard sayings like that a thousand times but for some reason seeing it on the foil wrapping of a sour cream container stopped me short.
One minute I was thinking about topping a burrito and the next I was a thousand miles away wondering about that one friendship that I lost a long long time ago just because of some stupid silly thing…and now it’s been so long and we’ve both gone such separate ways there is no way I’ll ever get that friendship back.
How dare you bring me down like that you silly sour cream container!
But it did make me think of another friendship I have. I know this girl down the street from my house. I wrote about her once before in that sponsored ice cream post. Just a blip. Her name is Deb and she’s an artist. We met because I was taking Bug on one of our taking-forever-going-nowhere meandering walks down the alley behind our house and Deb was outside her garage painting a colossal canvas by dripping green watercolor paint down it over some strings that she had tied strategically in the shape of leaf membranes. It’s amazing art. I wish she had a website I could link.
Anyway for some reason, maybe because Bug is such a great ice breaker, we got to talking and next thing you know we are fast friends who go on walks on the beach at least once a month. We’d go more often but we both have crazy schedules and we both travel so much we are away from home more than we are home. Funny how life is that way.
Deb isn’t the friend that I lost years ago but I was thinking about her because over the last few months I had called her four times and she never returned my calls. Me being me, who worries about everything and thinks everything is my fault, I thought it might be because the last time she called me I was in the middle of something and I was completely distracted. I have no idea what I said on that phone call but what if I had said something that had offended her!! GASP! Maybe I’m that annoying mom who talks on and on about her kid (Deb doesn’t have kids) and she’s just trying to lose me as a friend?!! Drama drama…etc.
It’s silly that I should ever worry about anything like that because Deb is such a happy-go-lucky sweet sort of girl and she loves Bug. She’s not the type to blow you off. She’s just busy. Four phone calls is a lot of phone calls for her not to return but she’s never ever given me a reason to think she is ignoring me before.
I had a choice. I could just keep my worries to myself and let time go by, possibly even years because I really really don’t want to bug her OR I could write her a quick email and just ask her if I was bugging her. It was a scary thing to do for me to do. Normally I wouldn’t do it. I hate to be annoying but that sour cream container got me thinking!!!
So I emailed her and guess what? I had been calling her work number and not her home number. Doh!!! She’s been super busy and somehow my four messages had got lost in between messages from her many clients!! It turns out she did want to get together with me and we had an amazing time catching up the other day. Our one hour walk on the beach turned into three hours and it just made me so thankful that for once I listened to a cliché on the lid of a sour cream container and took the risk of being that annoying friend who just won’t go away.
Because I don’t want to go away.
November 5th, 2009 at 9:16 am
That was one fortuitous (is this the right spelling) yogurt lid. I can identify that a suddenly read “truism” jumps out at you just at the right time. I thinkIam probably the annoying friend who never calls enough and uses fatuous networking sites like Facebook instead to keep in touch. Naughty! I;m not sure if i posted as the last few days have past in a blur but I am sorry you had such a horrible shock on Halloween night. I am glad Bug was ok. Scary for you guys tho. The photos of the beach look really atmospheric. x
November 5th, 2009 at 10:34 am
I’m so glad you sent that email. Deb seemed like such a sweet person when I met her and a great friendship to have. I keep trying to branch out and maintain relationships as much as I can.
November 5th, 2009 at 11:16 am
Brenda, you are a nut. :-) I’m really glad you found the courage to write that email! Here’s hoping that the next time you need to write an email like that, it’s even easier because you did it this time.
November 5th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
hey auntie i finally found your blog from dartmouth
November 5th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
hey auntie i finally found your blog from dartmouth love u
November 5th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
oops
November 5th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Funny thing I was thinking about a friend I lost a longtime ago this morning. This email and blog found me at the right moment. Thanks for writing it.
November 5th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
That is a great and inspiring story… I have friends that i have lost over the silliest things that I still think about today. :(
November 5th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
That was courageous and the right thing to do. It’s so easy to think people are thinking something they’re not thinking based on what it looks like they’re doing… and thanks for the general reminder to take the time to reach out!
November 5th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
I love this post. So true, and those things ARE hard to do! Yay for 3 hours walks :). I have a few lost friendships that I rue to this day, and still wonder if I did something wrong.
November 5th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
I totally relate to the way you think, Brenda. I’ve been trying to be more forward, too, b/c – well – they can’t read minds! (((hug)))
November 5th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
On a totally different note…those PICTURES!!! Brenda! Ack, you’re KILLIN’ me. I was a teenager in So.Cal. and used to ditch school to head to Newport Beach. It was my favorite place. And if I ditched early enough, I could get there while it was still shrouded in fog and watery sunlight. Just beautiful.
Thanks for the memories. I’m green with envy that you’re within walking distance. I still miss the beach.
November 6th, 2009 at 5:08 am
How I miss that fog. I used to run track in it every morning in highschool. Aahh. Well I am glad you reconnected with your friend and it worked out. Not easy at all.
November 6th, 2009 at 5:53 am
You are so sweet. I’m glad you have a friend like Deb close by. I too am lucky to have a neighbor who has turned into one of my closest friends.
November 6th, 2009 at 7:00 am
My sour cream container last night said to “smile, you never know what friendship you might start with it.” So, there ya go–another way to get a friend : )
November 6th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Aww Brenda, that is just a perfect post. Just makes you realize that everything isn’t always as it seems. I am so happy that you didn’t give up, otherwise it would have bugged you for years to come.
And man, I wish I looked as gorgeous as Deb in her scarf and glasses. I had a convertible for years and could never get that to look right so I gave up and let my hair get messy and tangled.
November 7th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
I had a friend lose (ditch?) me recently. We’d been friends for about 5 months. I just moved into a new house and she bought me about $200 of housewarming gifts. We made plans to hang out the next day and everything was fine. I haven’t heard from her since. I’ve seen her on facebook so I know she’s not dead, she just won’t respond to me…its sad..
November 7th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
I am like that too. And am learning to hold the special ones extra close because you need em. xo you
November 9th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
What more is there to say?
Amen. :)
November 9th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
What brand of sour cream is this? I need a few truisms to jump start my life.
Currently I only buy Daisy, because the ingredient list is…..sweet cream. That’s it.
November 11th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
I love it when that happens, when I’m doing something random and meaningless and see something that really resonates with me.