Comments on: I lack the time to make this post better…

By: SarahD

SarahD — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 05:47:12 +0000

Hang in there! As you see, you are NOT alone. I have 3 boys, the eldest is almost 7, and I have found that ages 3 and 4 were by far the worst. I try to be consistent, but when you’ve got more than one child in the house, the ability to remain on top of the game is RELENTLESS and really exhausting. I do tell myself that my kids as adults will be interesting people…not ones to get easily pushed around and boring, that’s for sure!
And as far as potty training…I don’t know what you’ve read or what’s been said before…but if you haven’t yet…commit yourself to one week of hell. Remove the diapers/pull ups and do not go anywhere unless it’s somewhere ok to have an accident! Let her poop/pee in her undies if she wants to, but do NOT give in and put on a pullup. Be strong and consistent and she will get that you mean business. I would make the water slightly cold if my son did a mess in his pants and needed a washing…just to emphasize the fact that pooping in the potty is much nicer!! If after a week there is still no progress…pack it all up and try again in a month. This is how we did it for my two boys and they were day/night trained by 3yrs. All the best…don’t beat yourself up. We moms need to stick together…this mom business is rough!

By: Clair

Clair — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 20:18:34 +0000

Oh – and as the poster says (http://www.barterbooks.co.uk/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=32036&osCsid=4ncf0ol67u6n7c9atkn9gm9ce6), Just keep calm & carry on, which is how I try to deal with the meltdowns :)

By: Clair

Clair — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 20:14:00 +0000

I too have a very strong willed child, a boy, & since putting him a playgroup for mornings, things seem to be better. Easier to negotiate around things. And also just saying no, as Annie says above, no explanations, as they just tend to spark off tantrums more than just saying no. Other than that I am still learning & my 15 month old little boy seems to be just as strong willed as the first. we’re already hitting tantrum city!

By: sara

sara — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 14:47:29 +0000

my son turned 3 in october and we have been in a similar boat. agreeing with the above posters that suggested preschool. my son started in september (we had to find a place that would accept non-potty trained kids, also – since he’s decided he’s above peeing in a toilet). he goes every day for 3 hours (we had no option and they say that consistency of daily preschool is best for kids – they like schedules) and holy boy has he become a new child! he is much more calm. he listens (most of the time). he’s nice to his brother. of course, he’s still very strong willed and VERY three, but it’s helped a lot.

i find that it gets worse when my husband comes home because he isn’t as “strict” as i am. i say what i mean and mean what i say – there are no empty threats until daddy comes home! i think that’s another really important thing – never say something that you don’t intend to follow up on. don’t say you’ll throw all of her dolls away … you know you really won’t. instead say “I am going to put them up for the rest of the night” or something like that. my husband loves to get dramatic and then not do what he said! ;) Agreeing also with a commenter above that said to pick your battles. sometimes you just have to walk away and come back to look at things with a new set of eyes.

good luck! i am right here in the trenches with you!

By: lynne

lynne — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 09:47:25 +0000

Sigh I have no advice or experience either. I know I was a strong willed child when very young and I am sure gave my mother a terrible time. She still laughs at my “Indian war dances” ( temper tantrums) but at the time I am sure they were embarassing. She is a very patient woman and I was child number 3, so I guess she knew by then all things pass ( it must have been really hard to remember that when carrying me screaming down the street though). She says I calmed down a lot when I went to school and became a very affable child. I do remember being around 3 and feeling very fustrated that I couldn’t express myself verbally, maybe Bug feels like that too?

By: Angela

Angela — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 04:30:01 +0000

I have no advice or experience, so I’ll just say she’s still really darn cute!

By: Gayle

Gayle — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 02:10:15 +0000

It sounds like you’ve gotten some great advice in the comments. Probably the most important thing is be consistent. No means no, always.

By: BeachMama

BeachMama — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 01:27:16 +0000

If there was an answer about how to deal with public tantrums and strong willed children, the book would have already been written and there would be no more of either. If you do figure it out though this could be your claim to fame, writing the book. Until then just know that you are not alone, we have all been there, some more than others, and we have all survived.

By: Gramma

Gramma — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 01:09:30 +0000

I have stooped to bribery…”if you behave in the market you may pick out a treat” …We’ll stop at Duffy’s for an ice cream cone, even bubble gum, if you are good.” “If you misbehave you will be sent to your room.” Being separated from family, siblings seemed to work best. They usually want to be part of whatever is going on. Talking back was never allowed, ..soapsuds in the mouth is unpleasant. I must confess, for extreme circumstances, i did use my Flip flop on a thigh. It shows the tread and gives the child something to show Dad. Don’t ever say :”Just wait until your Dad gets home” Any discipline meted out must be immediate. You must be firm and consistent. Set limits. A child with no boundaries is insecure..

By: Brenda

Brenda — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 23:07:04 +0000

One simple sentence.

Pick your battles.