Comments on: Time Marches On

By: The Chatty Housewife

The Chatty Housewife — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 23:38:39 +0000

I love that photo of BB with the light coming through the window. So sweet.

By: OMSH

OMSH — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 23:48:55 +0000

Wow, I can’t imagine her choice would be mine either; as you stated though, how could I possibly know at 36 and healthy.

I’m so surprised at your parents’ move though – wow, from what you’ve described before THAT is a LOT of stuff! Maybe you should call that show…what’s it called “Clean House?” They could divide everything up on the lawn! tee hee

OR MAYBE you guys could just pretend to be on the show. I’ve always thought it’d be awesome to do one of those, but I give away enough already … there isn’t enough clutter to clean clutter my place.

By: Rae

Rae — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 14:59:54 +0000

I love those old fonts.

Thinking of you as you work through understanding what is happening with your aunt. I hope she is healed of hurt and opens herself back up to her family.

By: lynne

lynne — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 14:34:34 +0000

Hmm changes are always worrying, but if your mother and father are happy in your grandfathers old home, and he is ultimately happy in this wonderful sounding retirement home then it does sound like a good solution.

I am very sorry to hear about your great aunt. I think constant pain and anxiety can change a person a great deal. We can never know how we are going to respond to the bad news of a terminal disease. My father was diagnoised with Parkinsons when I was 18. The news was too much for him to deal with and ultimately a few years after diagnosis he gave up, locked himself away and sat in a chair for years waiting for his Parkinsons to get him. He’d been a very strong man who went out of his way to help others all his life, but he turned inwards. I think the tablets he took didn’t help either. I used to feel so angry inside at him often while I was caring for him as I felt he’d given up on us. That we weren’t enough to fight for, but I tried to understand him through compassion too. My fathers depression was so deep it just smothered him. But there were good times too when he would coem out and we coudl talk just like old times.

Sigh, sorry I wish I could write something more upbeat and positive for you. Don’t stop trying to bring sunshine to your aunt’s life, she may just respond. I used to sing to my Dad when it got really bad and that often used to work. Does she like animals? Could you bring a cat to her room? If I were sick I’d need my Willow cat comforting the end of my feet.

I thought Ninabi’s description of the end of a life being like the end of a long trip description was just perfect. Squishy hug.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 08:03:12 +0000

So sorry to hear about your Great-Aunt. Depression is the same at any age, sometimes you just cannot help but to hole yourself up and want to be alone. Sometimes, though, that isn’t the best thing. It may be worth chatting with the people at the retirement home to see what they think. And, maybe, it is worth making contact in the form of letters or drawings being dropped off. And, maybe, it is worth trying to get a smile from her. Sometimes just one smile can lead to many more. Why is it that a certain chatterbox bug comes to mind? I think she could get anyone to smile.

By: ninabi

ninabi — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 02:58:53 +0000

I keep thinking about your aunt and how hard this must be for you.

You know how it is when you have been on a long trip and it’s time to go to the airport? How tired you are, how all the clothes in your suitcase are dirty, you have a headache from the odd schedule, and while the sightseeing was wonderful, it’s past time to go home?

It’s like that for some people at the end of their lives. They’re sorry the trip has come to an end, they are tired and no, they don’t want anybody to wait with them at the gate, even if their flight is delayed.

I think I’d like to have my daughter sit with me in the terminal, or some friends to help pass the time.

I do hope your aunt receives good pain control. She deserves that. And she has her faith to comfort her.

By: Sonja

Sonja — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 19:13:35 +0000

Ugh. That’s hard. I just had this revelation about how Noah will one day look back at pictures from now and think “Wow, my parents look really young in those pictures!” Sort of sends chills down my spine, you know?!!

By: Gayle

Gayle — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 18:47:22 +0000

I’m sorry this is a difficult time for your family. It is so hard when a family member is dying. I think your family is doing the right thing to honor your aunt’s wishes to be alone, and to continue to be there for her, when/if her desire to be alone changes. Don’t give yourself a hard time over how you are feeling.

By: carrien (she laughs at the days)

carrien (she laughs at the days) — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 17:40:09 +0000

Has your mom ever heard of flylady? It might help her to sort through all of her stuff among other things. flylady.net

By: SusieQ

SusieQ — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 15:43:53 +0000

I am sorry to read about your aunt. You never know how someone (including yourself) is going to react to declining years/end of life issues. Your aunt might just need some time to mourn over her new news, or the fact that she has left some things undone or unresolved. Keep trying.
On an aside, your chalk escapades made me think of another project. Have you ever made sidewalk paint? Mix equal parts corn starch and water, then add food coloring. It will be drippy, but if it’s too thick, you will get lumps on your sidewalk and goopy brushes. I shake up about two cups worth at a time and use leftover egg-dying cups, chunky brushes, and the “neon” food colors. We never fail to have half the neighborhood kids in our driveway within minutes. Cleanup is easy – either wait for the rain, or get out the garden hose.