Hawaii doesn’t usually look like this. It usually looks like this. See the difference? Maybe check out the whole gallery. Sure, a lot of it is Toby’s mad photography skills but also there is one key difference: in my photos it’s overcast!

Kona is beautiful either way but what’s funny about taking pictures of a tropical island when it is overcast is that the color doesn’t really convey the warmth and how exotic everything really is. If it weren’t for the bendy palm trees and outlines of lush leaves everywhere this photo could be taken in Long Beach. Hawaii is all about color so where is the color?

It was over here on the rainy side of the island! The side of the island that is usually overcast and rainy and gray. How funny and strange, no? Why, you ask? Because of this:

This is steam from hot lava hitting the ocean. It was pretty cool. We wanted to get closer to see the actual molten lava dripping in big fiery globs into the sea but the Feds taped us off because they were worried that the whole “shelf” of lava would break off and we’d all go crashing into the ocean.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. The reason I’m showing you that photo is because something something something (that I will link and document properly when Toby the Volcano Expert wakes up) is happening with the volcano that hasn’t happened since 1924!!! And because the something something something is happening, the gas and fumes from the volcano are swirling around the island and hovering like smog over Kona! Right where we were staying!

I didn’t know any different but it really drove Toby nuts. He was there to shoot a luxury home and as you know luxury homes are all about the view. He couldn’t shoot the view because there was no view! Day after day he went to the job site and scouted around for the perfect shot and day after day he came back dejected that the blasted “vog” had beat him again.

On the very last day Toby decided to take one day off work and take us to the other side of the island where the weather was GREAT!!!! Who knew? Usually the rainy side of the island is rainy!

Everywhere we looked the sky was blue and the ocean was so turquoise it almost hurt your eyes. I don’t think my photos do the views justice really. Miles and miles and miles of fresh, fresh air to breath. They say that the freshest air on earth is on this side of the island because it blows in from the ocean from miles and miles away with no land and pollution in sight. We actually know of someone who intends to move to Hilo just because he wants to breath clean air and live forever.

He shouldn’t have any trouble finding a place to live since everything is for sale on Hawaii. I’m sure it’s just a sign of the times and they are experiencing the same recession/depression we are here in California but everywhere we looked we saw for sale signs. It was almost creepy like everyone is trying to get off the island at once or something.

When we stopped for a pizza lunch before we headed to the Akaka waterfall we stood around and day-dreamed about buying this pad and building a bed and breakfast on it. Can you imagine the stories I could blog about from there?

I can see why so many mainlanders come over to visit and end up staying. It really is intoxicating. Life is slower. Springtime is year-round. Everything is beautiful. You feel like you are in another country, far far away from the hustle and bustle of home yet you are still in the United States and protected by its laws.

Then we thought about the school systems and how Baby Bug would probably get picked on and the fact that if you need decent medical treatment, you have to get on a plane and fly to another island… and that sort of dashed that daydream. It was fun while it lasted though!

We did get rained on after all. While hiking to see Akaka Falls, it rained big huge drops of warm water all over us. It was great. Baby Bug was having the time of her life running around and investigating puddles and leaves and bugs. Everything was green so she was in heaven. I think she could have stayed there forever.

But like Toby said, she was way more interested in the railing and the little puddles on the sidewalk than she was in the hundreds of feet of water crashing over the side of a steep cliff and pounding away on the rocks below. It was a little like our trip to the San Diego Zoo. Railings are sooo interesting when you are a toddler.

Then we dried off and warmed up with a coconut mocha from Starbucks! Ha ha! Who am I kidding? We didn’t need warming up, the rain was warm! It was actually freezing cold IN Starbucks and I needed the mocha to keep from shivering in their air conditioning.

I don’t usually order anything besides a grande latte when I’m at Starbucks but I decided to try the coconut mocha because you can only get it in Hawaii. How bad would I feel if I got home and found out that I’d never ever get the chance again?!!!

I wonder if that line of thinking would work for sampling everything in their pastry display? Probably not. But it was pretty yummy. A little too sweet but I can handle a little too much sugar when I’m on vacation.

You’d think we’d call it a day after all that but we didn’t. Not when Toby is in charge. He will run Baby Bug and I into the ground, fitting every single adventure in that he can. I was quite mad at him that he forced us to go visit the volcano and didn’t tell me about the required footwear rule. Everywhere we looked there were signs saying to bring water and wear long pants and proper footwear. Flip flops and a skirt aren’t exactly recommended.

I was actually quite scared that we were going to be hiking over knee high shards of razor-sharp lava the way the signs read. Poor Toby, I gave him quite the guilt trip. I had closed-toe shoes and long pants for both Bug and I back at the hotel but we were hours and hours away from there. There was no going back at this point.

Of course it was no big deal at all. The ground was rough but quite even and I skipped over the wrinkles of tar-colored elephant-skin-like lava like a nimble mountain goat in ballet slippers. Well, maybe not quite that gracefully but I didn’t trip or fall once. It was totally fun. I’d go again and wear heels even.

It was a little bit of work to carry Baby Bug the mile or so from the parking area to the actual site where the lava hit the ocean but it was totally worth it. I love adventure. I guess that’s why I’m still married.

And that concludes my vacation blogging!

Toby had to work nearly every day while we were in Hawaii but on Friday he pulled himself away from the job site and took us to a coffee plantation! If you know me, you know what a happy caffeine addict I am and you know that visiting the source has got to be top on my list of things I want to do before I die.

When I was a kid, my parents used to take us on all kinds of tours of factories and facilities where things are made as a fun thing to do for vacations. Usually tours are free and it’s a great way to learn things hands on. I love tours. I’ve seen how apple juice is made, how paper is made, how tequila is made, how money is made… I am not really a science geek (I wish I were) but I love that show How It’s Made.

So naturally visiting The Mountain Thunder Plantation was a dream come true for me. Not to mention Baby Bug and I had strollered almost every last nook of Kona so anything new was very exciting.

It wasn’t what I imagined it would be with fields and fields of misty coffee bean trees growing in concentric rows around the side of a mountain. In fact, we didn’t even get to see the fields. I asked about them and a ranch hand told me it was a trek into jungle and not open to the public. Too bad though because I totally had my heart set on taking that picture of those misty rows of trees. It was not to be.

I did however get to sample the best of the best organically-grown Peaberry Kona Coffee and yes, it was good. I’m usually a cream and sugar sort of gal and this coffee was so good I drank it black. Mostly because they only offered powdered creamer and I’m just a snob about powdered stuff but it really didn’t need it. It was yummy!

While you enjoy your free cup of coffee, they show you a video of Mike Rowe (the guy from Dirty Jobs) visiting the plantation. It was a pretty funny show and sort of made me thankful that they weren’t going to allow us to see the whole complete coffee process where they ferment the beans with goat manure! Ew! I had no idea that that was how coffee was made.

Why is it that I love this stuff again? Oh, right. Because I am ADDICTED.

Then we got to know the local cat. Baby Bug LOVED the local cat.

I think she was missing her cats back home because she got right down on the ground and rolled around with him. He really was a nice kitty. Maybe the coffee plantation was worth visiting just for him. I never did get his name though.

After we socialized with the cat for quite a while we took a tour of their dry mill and learned all about what is good coffee and what is not-so-good coffee. You know how I’m so addicted to Starbucks? It turns out I’m not such a snob after all and I do not have good taste at all. Mountain Thunders sends their REJECT beans to Starbucks. Hah!

It’s all about the roast. You can pretty much hide any defect in coffee beans by roasting it darker and darker. Who knew! I love dark roast coffee so I guess they are pulling a fast one on me.

The “good stuff” is very very expensive. Forty-five bucks for a little bag! So I guess that is why I’m not that big of a fan of Kona coffee. It’s not that it isn’t good, it’s just that all the hotels and restaurants that serve 100% Kona coffee are probably serving what they can afford and that is probably the lowest grade.

I really do not know what I’m talking about when it comes to being a coffee connoisseur. I’m only a self-proclaimed coffee expert because I drink it so much. I don’t know squat about the subtle hints and textures of coffee BUT I’ve noticed a very smokey ashtray flavor to the Kona coffee we had at the hotel. It could have been the pot it was brewed in or even maybe a disgruntled waiter ashed in my cup. Who knows.

But after visiting the plantation, I do see why Kona coffee has such a great reputation. It is very carefully grown in the best location possible by really nice people who care deeply about the quality of their product. So if you can afford it, I recommend sipping a cup of that $45 stuff. It’s probably worth every penny. If you can’t afford it, then just drink the dark roast and your tongue will never know the difference.

I hate retro-blogging or blogging too long after the fact. It’s just not as fun as the real thing. But if I don’t blog about all the fun we had, there will be someone out there wondering why I never wrote about Akaka falls or the neat little coffee shop where we had Kona coffee ice cream or what about that hidden beach we found under the highway bridge? Will those memories fade as I become more and more immersed in silly things like laundry and when my library books are due?

Sadly the memories are already fading.

In order to make this as quick and painless as possible, I’m just going to peruse through my flickr pictures and mention things here and there. If it’s as boring as forcing you to sit and look at my vacation slideshow, I totally understand. We’ll get back to our regularly scheduled daily ramblings asap.

Now that I am back home and safely away from any scary stalkers that might want to steal Baby Bug from me, I can tell you all that we stayed at the Royal Kona Resort. It’s a funny sort of hotel right out of the 70’s. The architecture is magnificent with funny arches that are so Hawaiian and so Hollywood at the same time. The whole place makes you just want to lounge around at the pool and pretend you are James Bond. Even the music.

Well, except the service perhaps. I don’t want this to be a negative rant because we really did have a wonderful time but why is it that Hawaiians are so pissed off that they have to put on an ugly uniform and work at a hotel serving tourists? Actually, I know the answer. I’d be pissed off too.

What was amazing to me was how the employees at the Royal Kona really don’t make much of an effort to hide their disdain for the common tourist. I know everyone says that Hawaiians stereotypically are a happy laid-back people and I am inclined to believe them. I just think they are much happier when they are at home cracking open a beer and watching football or a hula tournament or something on tv.

The hostess at the restaurant where we ate breakfast every day was the worst. So many times I just wanted to say something like, “I know you hate tourists. I hate being a tourist and you make me hate being a tourist even more.” I’m sure she had a reason for scowling at us. It could have been us, it could have been a million things. But man, it was a drag.

So anyway, the Royal Kona. Yes, stay there! It was great. Great views! The bar and the pool and the lobby are by far the coolest thing ever. There are no doors. Just open breeziness. If it typhoons I guess everyone takes cover and hopes for the best. You can tell this hotel was really something in it’s day and even though the service was a little disgruntled, I think with a bit of imagination you could have a splendid time there. We did.

Wow. All that on two photos out of 233. This retro-blogging could take a while. I’ll have to really make an effort to speed things up from here on out.